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    Default Insulted at my friend's funeral..........

    I went to a dear old friend's funeral today....I had known her since I was a little girl. She was almost like an aunt to me. Anyway....another lady (who I know was there). She knew how upset I was. At the wake she came up to me and started holding her nose and held out her arm to say, "Hey, move back". She said, "Your perfume is very heavy and it's giving me a headache." I apologised and told her that my Dh had said the same thing. I realise now I shouldn't have worn it. After talking with her I wandered over to another group of friends to chat with them. She followed me. I had a pair of sunglasses pushed back on my head(I had worn them earlier in the day) and had just pushed them back on my head. I suffer with sunglare and so keep them on my head - I have to wear them even getting out of a car and walking to the church. I had worn a pair that was a bit loose and they must have been crooked. As I was talking to this other friend, she stopped an interrupted me an grabbed my sunglasses and re-adjusted them on my head, laughed loudly OUT loud and turned to my friend, as if to say,"Laugh too". She then pointed at me and said, "OCD". I was a bit taken back at it all and didn't know what she was talking about. After the funeral I worked out that she must have meant "ADD" and infact, was saying that I was clumsy or silly because my sunglasses were crooked. When I got home, I noticed she had tried to call me. I am not sure if she was wanting to apologise or insult me more. I was hurt and I intend on speaking to her about it. This was a funeral and a good friend had died. I didn't want to be insulted in front of my friends and I don't have OCD or ADD. I will speak to her in a kind way but tell her how I feel. Do you think I should address it or let it go? My MIL said "Let it go" but I feel as though she needs to be told.

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    I would see what she was planning on saying on this call. If she apologises, be gracious because she may have been having a rough time too (not that you weren't) and if she doesn't and she decides to stick the boot in a bit more I would just end the conversation there and walk away. It is a terrible feeling to be made the butt of a joke but I imagine that people were probably thinking more poorly of her than you.

    Sorry for your loss.

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    Is this the same friend you have posted a million threads about before??

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    littlebopeep2013  (21-09-2013)

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    Maybe when she said "OCD" she meant herself, and she adjusted your crooked sunglasses because it bothered her. In any case, she had no business being rude or making you feel like you were being insulted. Hopefully she's calling to apologise, otherwise maybe just politely ask her to stay away from you in future.

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    Maybe she has OCD about crooked things....
    It was a very stressful day for everyone I am sure, hopefully she is the kind of friend you will be able to ask what she said/meant when you speak to her.

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    It reads to me that she was calling herself OCD, by needing to straighten the glasses.

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    Oh yes!!! Now I realise she must have meant herself. That makes me feel somewhat better..... and yes same friend.

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlebopeep2013 View Post
    I went to a dear old friend's funeral today....I had known her since I was a little girl. She was almost like an aunt to me. Anyway....another lady (who I know was there). She knew how upset I was. At the wake she came up to me and started holding her nose and held out her arm to say, "Hey, move back". She said, "Your perfume is very heavy and it's giving me a headache." I apologised and told her that my Dh had said the same thing. I realise now I shouldn't have worn it. After talking with her I wandered over to another group of friends to chat with them. She followed me. I had a pair of sunglasses pushed back on my head(I had worn them earlier in the day) and had just pushed them back on my head. I suffer with sunglare and so keep them on my head - I have to wear them even getting out of a car and walking to the church. I had worn a pair that was a bit loose and they must have been crooked. As I was talking to this other friend, she stopped an interrupted me an grabbed my sunglasses and re-adjusted them on my head, laughed loudly OUT loud and turned to my friend, as if to say,"Laugh too". She then pointed at me and said, "OCD". I was a bit taken back at it all and didn't know what she was talking about. After the funeral I worked out that she must have meant "ADD" and infact, was saying that I was clumsy or silly because my sunglasses were crooked. When I got home, I noticed she had tried to call me. I am not sure if she was wanting to apologise or insult me more. I was hurt and I intend on speaking to her about it. This was a funeral and a good friend had died. I didn't want to be insulted in front of my friends and I don't have OCD or ADD. I will speak to her in a kind way but tell her how I feel. Do you think I should address it or let it go? My MIL said "Let it go" but I feel as though she needs to be told.
    Sounds to me like she was referring to herself too... And if you have posted lots of other threads about her (assuming you have had issues in the past)... Maybe you are quicker to jump on the defense & think something out of nothing.

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    littlebopeep2013  (21-09-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by cassieh View Post
    Sounds to me like she was referring to herself too... And if you have posted lots of other threads about her (assuming you have had issues in the past)... Maybe you are quicker to jump on the defense & think something out of nothing.
    Thank you. I realise I have some major issues too. When she phones I will not say anything to her. It's best to let it go and respect her for her OCD issues.


 

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