Could you guys try couples counselling? If you guys can get the communication flowing and sorting out some issues, you could try....
Sit together and write up a 'after work - bubs sleep time' routine, delegate half the chores to him, wont hurt him to get familiar with packing his DDs daycare bag etc, do bath time together (sometimes I sit in the bathroom with SO and SD3, its a lot of fun, we sing and be silly).
You live with your in-laws?? Ask them if they can watch bubs for a couple hours so you and your BF can go on a 'date', movie, bowling, dinner, private spa etc etc.
Both of you write a list of 10-20 things (you guys decide how many) that the other could do for you that you will enjoy. Each day you and your BF could do one or two things from the list. The 'things' should be a) positive. b) specific. c) small. d) something that is not related to a recent conflict. eg;
Ask how I spent the day and listen.
Offer to make me a hot drink.
Hold my hand when we go for walks.
Massage my shoulders.
Let me have an early night after a hard day of work.
Allow me to sleep in one w/e morning.
Cook a meal we both like and eat together.
Pay me a compliment.