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  1. #1
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    Default is this discipline ok

    i would like opinions on this discipline we had started with DS who is 17months.

    he sometimes doesnt want to sit still and eat his dinner. he will take a bite and try run away or get out of his high chair if he is in it.
    we have started picking him up and taking him to his room to say do you want to go to bed or eat your dinner? usually he will say yes for dinner and we will go back out and he will eat a lot nicer.
    but tonight when dh did it ds really lost it crying knowing he was going to his room to see if he wanted to go to bed or be a good boy and i felt so horrible. it broke my heart knowing he is so upset about it.
    he then came back out and ate a couple of bites and then i realised he didnt like the taste of this dinner so i made him a cheese toast.. but yeh is that ok to do or does anyone have any other suggestions when ds refuses to eat his dinner? and i know he is hungry because he points to sultanas or something like that in the pantry..

    thanks

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    I wouldn't threaten with bed because you don't want bed to be seen negatively as a punishment.

    I think 17 months is still a little too young to understand consequence.

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    In my experience bed or bedroom is not the place for "punishment" (although in this case it's really mild "punishment"). A spare spot in the house where there are no toys, no comfort etc would be better, where you can see in a direct line from the dining table. When you put him to bed he will be confused as to whether he is in trouble or not. With food - just give him as much of what's there, if he doesn't like it (and mostly at this age that will be what the problem is, not just being defiant) offer some veg sticks or something and leave it at that. As long as he has a reasonably full tum he won't get malnutrition overnight.

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    I would let him go. I think at 17 months, sitting still is pretty hit and miss! I think making meal times a big battle just sets you up for more battles and issues later.

    With DD, if she didn't finish her dinner and was hungry later, she would be offered the rest of her dinner.

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    The following is just my opinion....

    Just be careful about making negative associations about his bed. Bed and bedrooms should be kept a nice safe happy place for calmly falling asleep. Not the place that you go to cry. Or the place you're sent for punishment.

    Hope that makes sense..

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    no, I don't think it is an ok punishment.

    17 months old is very young and it is natural that he is testing boundaries.

    Try positive reinforcement instead...a treat after dinner or a special story. Perhaps sit with him so he cannot run away....i would happily let my kids sit on my lap to eat at that age and still sometimes do with DD (3) if she is restless.

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    Will he sit in a high chair during dinner so that he won't run away? I wouldn't give a consequence for not eating. I would just give my child the dinner, & let them eat however much they want to. If they don't want to eat more than a few mouthfuls, I would let them leave the table & not make a big deal about it. If they are hungry later, they can have their dinner - not the sultanas, or whatever. Do you think your ds is eating too early or too late in the evening? Have you tried changing his dinner time? What is he eating in the afternoon? Is he filling up on an afternoon snack? I always make sure my afternoon snack is something I would be happy for them to eat as a replacement to dinner if they decided to refuse dinner - eg, vegie sticks, chicken fingers & dip, and then I follow their lead as to their hunger. I don't think it's healthy to 'make' a child eat. I think a relaxed dinner time is much more effective at this age - he needs to know that meal times are an enjoyable time.

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    thanks so much for the replies. that very true about not making his bed a punishment place.. will definately stop that. DS does sit on our laps usually for the meal time but he will wriggle off and not want to eat. we have offered a nice treat after he eats but i dont think he completely understand that. i did say to dh tonight to stop trying to make him eat once he kept on getting annoyed by it.. i just worry that he wont eat and wont be full for bed time then be up in the night hungry is all..
    will try set him emal time a bit later, maybe its too early (5pm) bed is 7pm..

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    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I wouldn't threaten with bed because you don't want bed to be seen negatively as a punishment.

    I think 17 months is still a little too young to understand consequence.
    Totally agree
    Do you all eat together? In the dining room ? Is the TV off? Do you have fun placemats and spoons? Toddlers at that age do get distracted and its hard to make them sit still for long - just make sure he is hungry so he will eat and eat with him so he has you to interact with ,meal times have to be a fun, happy experience at this age or you may be setting yourself up for bad experiences later!
    Try not to bribe him with treats - this sends a message that his dinner is "bad" and treats are good!

  13. #10
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    I kind of understand what you're trying to do, we tell our kids that if they don't eat dinner then they will go to bed hungry as there is no more food till breakfast. They are a bit older though. Personally I agree with others, using the bedroom as a negative consequence may result in other issues.

    When my kids grew out of their high chair we bought them booster seats with a seatbelt so they were strapped in so they couldn't just get down. It wasn't done with any fuss, we just said to them we didn't want them climbing up and down (chairs were slippery on the floorboards). Dinner was for sitting at the table not climbing up and down, seemed to work.

    If DD is being particularly difficult with her getting down (we have a bit of the whole I'm full thing and then coming back after 10mins saying I'm hungry!) we wrap her dinner and when she wants something to eat later she gets the rest of it.

    I'd say they your little one is testing the boundaries as they do. Good luck.


 

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