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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Be careful about your hubby writing a letter. That could be engaging in their nonsense and they will pour over every word, misinterpret, and spread it around.
    Eeek true. However a phone call will achieve nothing, they don't listen, they talk over you, and descend things into hysterics immediately

    Argh crap, I'm retreating back into thinking just leave it alone. Eventually they have to exhaust themselves right?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  2. #72
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    I've thought about writing letters but do think they'd be used against me eventually, only way would be to actually read the letter out loud to them at a meeting, tell them not to interrupt til you have finished, atleast you get it all out, but you keep the letter, if I was to ever do it that's how I thought it could work. I just know if I gave it to my family it would be shared and used as another weapon for them to use against me, sad but true.

  3. #73
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    Can he go to their place, kind of unannounced (the same as they do to you!) and talk to them?

    Face to face is always better, then they can't say that you were telling him what to write or say.

  4. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    . Eventually they have to exhaust themselves right?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    Ah, don't bet on that. They sound like 'right' fighters (another Dr Phil term) and they probably have the stamina of a bull! So I wouldn't hold your breath waiting for them to tire out! I would just ignore, ignore, ignore. Easier said than done, I know, but at least you aren't giving them any fodder (so to speak), and you are not giving them what they want by not responding to their crazy demands

  5. #75
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    Holy moly, I haven't even finished reading your post, read just to your sad angry face, my heart just dropped for you, rude, that is plain rude and inconsiderate what they have done, maybe they could have had a special dinner before they left, but holy crap, I think your feelings are totally justified and they have reall issues with boundaries (control too maybe??) ill go back an read the rest now... But wow. Just wow. I bet your dp has been dealing with it forever, hence powerless to it. Bah!!

  6. #76
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    So just read more..... Emotional abuse is what all that Looks like. And the guilt you feel is part of that, there is no nice in this, do what makes things right for you're families own boundaries and mental health and space, you have every right to not put up with any of their crap. Keep enjoying the space, they are not healthy people!! Hope you find some peace amongst it all. If all else fails, move far far away. Xx

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Eeek true. However a phone call will achieve nothing, they don't listen, they talk over you, and descend things into hysterics immediately

    Argh crap, I'm retreating back into thinking just leave it alone. Eventually they have to exhaust themselves right?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    I would write "nana. This issue is more complicated that you have been led to believe. If you would like to hear another side, please feel free to give me a call. Love your grandson."

    This is a complicated issue though. Only you and DH will know the best option.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    CitrusRainxxx  (26-09-2013)

  9. #78
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    So dh is thinking he'll text them back, organise to meet them in a public place (just him) and let them say whatever it is they want to say. If it gets ridiculous or blame-y or hysterical he is just going to up and leave. The hope is they may have reflected on their behaviour and be willing to make some changes or at least respect our boundaries and wishes with a less sh1tty attitude about it. He doesn't plan to contribute, what's the point he has said it all before! That's probably all he'll say if he feels compelled to do that. He will then tell them he will think about it and talk to me and we'll come back to them with our next step.

    I really thinking it is a stupid waste of time. I know if anything is going to move from here we have to sit down with them and have some sort of conversation. The worst part of me is hoping that they act like the morons they always do, and it is the final nail in the coffin. However, the psych that dh has been seeing for guidance in all this said to him today that although they are the parents and we are the children, they are clearly only capable of acting like children, so we need to treat them like children. Accept it as it is, walk out/away when they do the 'wrong' thing until they understand the consequences.

    I don't know. That worst part of me can't be bothered and truely doesn't want to ever see them again.

    Honestly, thanks for listening and for all the advice. I really am finding it helping me alot! So hard to do the 'right' thing when my instincts scream no more!! But it's his family.... Gah.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  10. #79
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    Could you organize a mediation? Like the do in work situations? Or trick them into seeing a family counselor with you. Saying its for your issues...but then it all gets turned around when your actually their?

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #80
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    I think the psych gave your hubby excellent advice!

    Good luck...


 

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