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  1. #41
    jbish's Avatar
    jbish is offline “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr Seuss
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    Great advice vic park! This is what I would do in this situation.

    Good luck OP, I feel angry for you after reading this post!

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I would just send your hubby to any meeting. As Dr Phil would state: It's up to him to 'manage' his family. And beings pregnant you don't need the stress. Your hubby needs to tell his parents "no BS shenanigans around my pregnant wife. She will only see the peaceful result of our negotiations or she will see nothing at all."
    Did Dr Phil say that?? Yippeee now I dont feel so guilty anymore with DH's family. He can worry about them :/

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    Good luck - let us know how it goes (I'm hooked like a little soap opera)

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    GirlsRock  (24-09-2013)

  5. #44
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    I don't think you are over reacting and know exactly how after awhile you start to feel like your crazy because my MIL did the same to us. She wanted to take DD out in a old unsafe car seat in a unregistered car and I said NO well she lost it and decided I was horrible because I had also said NO to her trying to toilet train DD when I wanted to do it. I was pregnant with number 2 and didn't want the stress so I kept my distance DH took my side which angered her more and no matter how many times we tried to mend that bridge she wouldn't have it. She lied to all her other children about us saying we threatened her and many other things. DS1 was born premmie and before I was even back from theatre she had turned up DH asked if they could come back tomorrow so I didn't feel to exposed when I got back to the room and MIL stormed out and text abuse all night. When bub was stable enough to be out of his humicrib through a glass window in the nursery we asked MIL if she wanted to come and see him and told him due to his weak immune system to stay on the other side of the window, well when we got there she barged into the room touching him with unwashed hands and I broke down. I rang my parents in tears and my Dad being the protector that he is rang her asking her to give us space while Cameron was still in hospital well according to what she told everyone else we all threatened to hurt her so I came out of hospital after feeding bub with all these messages on my phone from everyone threatening to come and "shut me up" eventually we moved away and cut them all off because they were toxic. I am sorry for the long post I just wanted to show I know what you are going through and you feel guilty for even thinking of cutting them off but if they really that bad it might be your only option, honestly the moment we made that decision it felt like a weight had been lifted and we felt happier

  6. #45
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    Wow! Reading you guys posts and your story Rach makes me so angry for you guys I wouldn't hesitate for a second to cut people like that off... Its just not what you want to have to put up with in life, lifes too short.

    Is it mainly inlaws? My inlaws have never done anything to that extent but they really annoy me ever since bubs has come along they always want to visit now when they never bothered before and quite frankly I dont have much time for them.

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    Quote Originally Posted by withlovesiobhan View Post
    Did Dr Phil say that?? Yippeee now I dont feel so guilty anymore with DH's family. He can worry about them :/
    Yep. Dr Phil is pretty clear. It's up to each person in a marriage to keep their own 'family' in line.

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    babyla  (22-09-2013)

  9. #47
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    They sound horrific. Turning up so soon after a tough birth is incredibly selfish and rude, and the birthday thing is just plain weird. What are they trying to achieve??

    I agree with most others, be calm, clear and firm - set the ground rules regarding your children and don't tolerate them breaching the rules. They'll need to learn that access to grandchildren depends on respecting you.

    It's important to deal with this now, as your kids get older they'll pick up on the tension and will see the way their mother is disrespected - its not a nice thing to deal with as a kid (personal experience!).

    Good luck, I hope they either leave you well alone or at least take it back a notch or two.

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    babyla  (22-09-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yep. Dr Phil is pretty clear. It's up to each person in a marriage to keep their own 'family' in line.
    I agree with this, Dr Phil or not, I think his family so his issue to handle.

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    We haven't responded to the summons, which scares me a little because they might just turn up and start ranting. We didn't want to meet today because we are doing other things, but we also haven't quite decided on how much (if at all) we want them in our lives. We want to be sure of what we will allow before we talk to them.

    Thinking we should reply to the message in some way though, not sure how or what to say?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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    GrabbyCrabby  (22-09-2013)

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    Good luck with it. Maybe hide the car and pretend you're not home lol

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    rach85  (22-09-2013)


 

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