I can't offer much advice that hasn't already been said regarding their behaviour. I have one suggestion regarding the birth of baby no 2. It's pretty drastic, but it depends how much of a concern it is for you. At our hospital patients can request a level 3 confidentiality put on them during their stay. This basically means that when you're an inpatient it flags that there is confidentiality in place. If your ILs ring the hospital, they can't tell them if you're there, where you are or anything else. If they turn up to visit and ask for your room they will be turned away and told that you're not there. We use this for VIPs but also women who have DV relationships and AVOs/DVOs in place etc. The only way they can know you're there is if you tell them (or tell others who then tell them).