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  1. #31
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    I can't offer much advice that hasn't already been said regarding their behaviour. I have one suggestion regarding the birth of baby no 2. It's pretty drastic, but it depends how much of a concern it is for you. At our hospital patients can request a level 3 confidentiality put on them during their stay. This basically means that when you're an inpatient it flags that there is confidentiality in place. If your ILs ring the hospital, they can't tell them if you're there, where you are or anything else. If they turn up to visit and ask for your room they will be turned away and told that you're not there. We use this for VIPs but also women who have DV relationships and AVOs/DVOs in place etc. The only way they can know you're there is if you tell them (or tell others who then tell them).

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    Quote Originally Posted by theoneandonlyem View Post
    I can't offer much advice that hasn't already been said regarding their behaviour. I have one suggestion regarding the birth of baby no 2. It's pretty drastic, but it depends how much of a concern it is for you. At our hospital patients can request a level 3 confidentiality put on them during their stay. This basically means that when you're an inpatient it flags that there is confidentiality in place. If your ILs ring the hospital, they can't tell them if you're there, where you are or anything else. If they turn up to visit and ask for your room they will be turned away and told that you're not there. We use this for VIPs but also women who have DV relationships and AVOs/DVOs in place etc. The only way they can know you're there is if you tell them (or tell others who then tell them).
    Thanks for this. I have a midwives appointment tommorrow I'll bring it up with them and have a chat. It would be fine for my family and friends to come still if I told them what room etc right?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
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    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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    Ohhh another update. FIL has summoned us to a meeting. After not speaking for 3 months it apparently is all happening it once. What a Sunday ruiner.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  5. #34
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    GrabbyCrabby is offline She is everything I need, that I never knew I wanted... She is everything I want, that I never knew I needed...
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    Good luck!!! I hope they pull their heads in! Try and stay strong!!!!!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by GrabbyCrabby View Post
    Good luck!!! I hope they pull their heads in! Try and stay strong!!!!!!
    I don't know if we are going to go. We feel really ambushed!! And more of them trying to control us.... IDK!



    Thanks though!

    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Ohhh another update. FIL has summoned us to a meeting. After not speaking for 3 months it apparently is all happening it once. What a Sunday ruiner.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    Good luck, ill be thinking of you

    Just remember we are all allowed to erect some healthy boundaries

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #37
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    I have a family like this, honestly such a drainer on your life, but I understand how you feel because I always end up questioning myself out of obligation which turns to guilt, I then decide to be the bigger person for our sake and give them another chance and the cycle continues.
    I think I've just given up trying to correct them or even explain why, because it always falls on deaf ears and they always recruit everyone else to back them up by twisting the stories and making us look like we have done something wrong.
    In this situation it's my family that's like this and I've accepted they'll never be what I think they should be, so I accept that and limit contact. I do say if I don't agree with something and leave it there.
    Good luck I do hope you can come to some peaceful arrangement, it is not your fault at all.

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    You aren't in the wrong they are. I would cut them out cause it seems they have no interest in meeting you half way and it will always be their way or the highway xx

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    Oh Rach, if it were me, I wouldn't go to the meeting. They cant 'summons' you. They are not the police! I'd be saying "sorry we are busy today. Maybe some other time, just be sure to give us plenty of notice".

    If you do go though (because maybe you want to have it out once and for all), stay strong! Be on neutral territory, don't let them have the upper hand.

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  12. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Ohhh another update. FIL has summoned us to a meeting. After not speaking for 3 months it apparently is all happening it once. What a Sunday ruiner.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    This is a perfect opportunity for your hubby to be firm, and set boundaries with them. A simple "today isn't good for us we had plans, how about next weekend" would help put them in their place but keep the lines of communication open.

    I would just send your hubby to any meeting. As Dr Phil would state: It's up to him to 'manage' his family. And beings pregnant you don't need the stress. Your hubby needs to tell his parents "no BS shenanigans around my pregnant wife. She will only see the peaceful result of our negotiations or she will see nothing at all."

    Good luck. Be firm.

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