Rach, if you're hoping to go home soon after birth, I wouldn't tell ANYONE that you'd had bub until you're home. Tell those that you have to ie your folks if they'll have your DD but tell no one else until you're home. It will minimise the chance of your in laws finding out and barging in. If your folks have been witness to their atrocious behaviour surely they'll follow your requests and help keep you safe.
If you do stay in hosp, give your midwives a list of approved visitors - ie your parents and DD, and anyone else is sent away.
Try not to spend the next few weeks stressed out. You and DH and DD should try to enjoy these last few weeks together as much as you can without awful family crap hanging over your head. Best of luck!
If you weren't having a baby would you be speaking to them for any other reason? If the answer is no then don't include them in any emails etc. Stand your ground!
Have you thought about 'accidentally' feeding a fake due date that is 6/8weeks after you're actually due to someone you know will tell them. Not sure how pregnant you look etc. might keep them off the scent?
If it were me I would only be telling my parents and brothers/sisters about the birth and swearing them to absolute secrecy until you actually get home (and lock your door!) and then tell any friends. Sad for your friends but fingers crossed you'll get your vbac so it won't be too long anyway
@theoneandonlyem - ohhh yep they have been witness and also been the victims at times. They'll keep me safe. It is well meaning congrats by people that don't know what goes on (we don't advertise it!) that will let the cat out of the bag. The main issue is I could be barricaded with the baby by dh, all my family, all the midwives and all our close friends and they'd still barge right through. They have no respect and an extremely over inflated idea of their 'rights'. But you're right- immediate family only and they won't breathe a word if I tell them not to till I'm home.
I also plan to disable mine and dh's facebook and request noone (in my family) announce or say anything on theirs till we are safely home.
In an ideal world I'd like to push baby out and go home nearly immediately and dh can pick up dd and we can hang at home before anyone knows anything! Don't know how possible that is though...
@CatesBean - nope. We absolutely are not talking to them about anything till they address their behaviour and issues and change their dialogue about us (they're awesome who have done no wrong and victims of us horrible people). Which will never, ever happen. Anytime they contact us or ambush us we repeat the above to them, if we have to say anything at all. We seriously avoid feeding the fire...
I am huge. Like people have asked if I am overdue since like 25weeks. Or if I am having multiples. I have massive babies, but I'm smaller and 100% belly all out in front. I'm so obvioulsy massively pregnant!! Lol. I have told everyone I'm due February, and if they asked for more info I say Valentines Day. I'm due 28th Jan and went a bit over a week early with dd so hoping for similar this time which gives me a 2-3 week buffer! I have left it too late and am too huge to try tell anyone I still have 8 weeks to go! Lol.
I'm really only nervous about the hospital bit.... Once we are home the doors can always be locked. Everyone we are happy to have visit ALWAYS texts first or has a key to let themselves in. And we'll put the same sign on the door we did with dd banning a knock or a door bell ring because baby is asleep- always. Keeps salesmen/mormons away too
I think you need to have a blanket no visitors at all rule. This persons allowed and that's persons not is too hard to implement. In our hospital there was often nobody at the nurses station and people come and go as they please. If it was a blanket rule for safety reasons then they would keep more of an eye out.
I have a blanket no member of dh's family rule, but I can't add my family to that list Honestly I'm aware there is often noone at the nurses desk and that is why I haven't put much faith in the midwives being able to keep them away. It isn't their job either, alot to ask of them instead of allowing them to deliver babies and care for mums and bubs.
Agree, it's a **** situation. I hope all your planning and thought pays off. Hang in there.
Could you ask the midwives I'd you can have a "in quarantine" sign put on your room door in the hospital, so that even if they barge on in, they won't be likely look in your room?
@rach85 I can see why you are feeling stressed. I totally agree with PP's about total silence. I'm so sad for your DH that his family is ruining what should be an amazing time for your little family unit.
I truly hope you get your vbac and his family stays away (get a hint people!!!).
Oh and don't forget to let us know when bub is here safely. We are all cheering you on and we won't tell the outlaws
Are you going to a hospital where you would have your own room? I can't remember if they do but would the room have a lock on the inside? That would ensure you only get visitors by prior arrangement
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