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  1. #291
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    Oh hun, I don't know what to say. As embarrassing as it would be to have your private life on display in your professional arena, it might still be worth it to get some peace from them. You'd have to be prepared to laugh it off at work with a "don't you wish YOU could get an AVO on your mother-in-law!" or "aren't all in-laws bonkers?" kind of attitude.

    Other than that,move away...far, far away!

  2. #292
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Agreed! Positioning ourselves for transfers as much as possible. As soon an the opportunity arises it will be happening. Need some space from all this! We will never tell them where we go either.

    I think I need to discuss with dh blocking some of his cousins on facebook. They are young, and would be able to share info with the problematic family members. I hate punishing people who aren't doing anything wrong in case they accidentally do, but I think it is a necessary step for bub #2 and definitely if we move. Because we would not be sharing where we went!!!
    I subscribe to a youtube channel by Ollie Matthews, he is the son of 2 Narcisstic parents, and he discusses ways of dealing with their crazy behaviour.

    His opinion on extended family is if they can't support you 100%, then they have to go. Example 'Aunty such and such - Yeah, I know MIL is an @sshole, and treats you terribly, but she is family blah blah'. Those people HAVE to go. They are not helpful to you in any way, they are just fence sitting.

    You still have young cousins on your FB and narcies know how to ask questions without asking questions IYKWIM? Of course they will be getting information from the youngsters. That's how these crazies operate!

    You are a much stronger lady than I. I would have c-r-a-c-k-e-d! it ages ago!

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    Apple iPhart6  (12-12-2013)

  4. #293
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    I just read through from near the start and OMG that family is a jar of nuts!!!
    Far out!!! I would've moved states by now.
    Makes me very thankful my family on both sides are normal even if my Mum always thinks of the negatives of things and doesn't give me enough credit for things I do. Sometimes I cringe when she calls and I don't tell her much because I don't want to hear her negativity. Now I pull her up on it though.

    I'm really glad that you and your DH are a united front and staying on the same page about it all.
    Just keep a record of all contact, especially other family members.

    Oh and a side note -- make sure you disable the posting on your FB page before your baby's due date. That will stop anyone posting stuff. I'd also be very careful who you tell of your birth.

    What does your own parents think of it all??


    Single mummy to a wonderful DS (Born 11/12/2008)

  5. #294
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    My parents can't stand them. They have known them a loooong time
    and used to think FIL was ok, but always despised MIL and her dad (the main author of the abusive letter) and all MIL's brothers and sisters...

    Recent events mean the now despise MIL's mum and FIL just as much. Makes
    me sad really, my parents like everyone!

  6. #295
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    Well as we expected, despite everything, they came over without calling and after 5. Left presents for dd and bub due soon. Annoys the cr@p out of me, if they had called and asked if they could give her a present I would have said yes. It is Christmas after all. I mean I would have said nothing has changed but that they could see her to give a present and see her open it. Or am I just a complete suck?

    It annoys me so much they didn't even try to do the right thing, they came again without calling and again after 5. So frustrating.

    I read the cards, they are pointed re 'we think of you everyday even though we are not allowed to see you'.... I just want to throw the presents out and not look at them under the tree. So sick of their utter selfishness!! I guess they have gotten the point in some way though- no present for dh or I. Lol.

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  8. #296
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    Don't cave to them Rach! You are doing so well

    Keep the presents for the kids but toss the cards

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    kriista  (22-12-2013),rach85  (22-12-2013)

  10. #297
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    I don't know how you do it. I would've called them after reading their card and gone off!!

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    rach85  (22-12-2013)

  12. #298
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    I don't want to give them the satisfaction. We are trying so hard to not speak to them, so any contact they take as a win I think!

    Lol @chico I'm hopeless huh? I think I'm just getting angry and emotional about the fact they won't change for their only grandchildren! Who is that selfish??? I do know that they won't change and logically and rationally that is clear. But when I let my emotions in I'm still getting so angry at them for doing this to dh and my kids. They are such a**holes!

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    Cicho  (22-12-2013)

  14. #299
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    Hun this is never going to work unless you and DH stand firm on your boundaries. If you had a rule call before coming and don't come after 5 then if they come reiterate that message and don't let them in the house. If the card to your child included inappropriate words ("we are not allowed to see you") then send it back to them. Every time you give 5metres they take 10 and that's why they don't know where he boundaries are.
    Last edited by VicPark; 22-12-2013 at 07:06.

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  16. #300
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    We didn't let then in @VicPark! Absolutely not!!! They ended up just leaving the presents at the front door because we refused to even answer it. We also didn't let his aunty and cousins in when they turned up either. Dh's grandma just walked in when she came, but we got rid of her pretty darn quickly and I didn't put dd down to let them interact at all (neither did dd want to!). We were reminded again after her doing that to not leave the door unlocked.

    We are hesitant to send the presents and cards back, because we feel that makes us look vindictive and petty and we refuse to give them any ammo against us.

    Trust me, the boundaries are extremely clear. They breach them repeatedly. Our only mistake was leaving the door to our home open once and his grandma taking advantage of that. Not that we should be prisoners in our own home, but until we move, we have to be. Which sucks!

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