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  1. #21
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    Go dad! Hopefully they take his advice and call you.

  2. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to amyd For This Useful Post:

    GrabbyCrabby  (21-09-2013),rach85  (21-09-2013),VicPark  (21-09-2013)

  3. #22
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    I would have been livid if that happened to me, and the family attacking you? That is completely wrong on so many levels. Any chance you can cut them out of your lives and move on?

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    rach85  (21-09-2013)

  5. #23
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    wow, they make mine look bad and that is huge.

    Perhaps...if they trust your dad enough to call him...could he act as a mediator in a sit down? MIL might behave better with another witness and he could stop things going off topic?

    hugs

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    rach85  (21-09-2013)

  7. #24
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    Your dads response was perfect. Just ignore all their shenannigans unless they are acting appropriately (approach you directly, at an appropriate time, in an appropriate manner).

    Draw up your boundaries and stick to them. If they happen to find out about bub and turn up despite you asking them not to right away... Turn them away. No negotiations.

    Please don't get caught up in their bull$hit.

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    GrabbyCrabby  (21-09-2013)

  9. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I would have been livid if that happened to me, and the family attacking you? That is completely wrong on so many levels. Any chance you can cut them out of your lives and move on?
    We really, really want to. But I guess we feel guilty, and they are local in a smallish town, we see them around. Unfortunately. They would never accept us cutting them off either, they do ehat they want. It would be a confrontation every single time we saw them. Yuck. We keep thinking of moving far far away. But my family and alot of our friends are here!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  10. #26
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    I'd move, honestly - they sound so toxic!

    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    We really, really want to. But I guess we feel guilty, and they are local in a smallish town, we see them around. Unfortunately. They would never accept us cutting them off either, they do ehat they want. It would be a confrontation every single time we saw them. Yuck. We keep thinking of moving far far away. But my family and alot of our friends are here!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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  12. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    wow, they make mine look bad and that is huge.

    Perhaps...if they trust your dad enough to call him...could he act as a mediator in a sit down? MIL might behave better with another witness and he could stop things going off topic?

    hugs
    They would never allow it. Even if they were open to it, my dad, who honestly sees the best in everyone, dreads seeing her or having to deal with her in anyway! He spoke only to FIL last night, with MIL clearly in the background apparently?? MIL doesn't have the capacity to discuss things, she only talks, never listens. And talks over anyone else trying to talk. We've tried it!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  13. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Your dads response was perfect. Just ignore all their shenannigans unless they are acting appropriately (approach you directly, at an appropriate time, in an appropriate manner).

    Draw up your boundaries and stick to them. If they happen to find out about bub and turn up despite you asking them not to right away... Turn them away. No negotiations.

    Please don't get caught up in their bull$hit.
    It is our only choice, isn't it. To just keep stating our boundaries and sticking to them. FIL said to dad last night that that is us 'rejecting them' and that 'they have tried everything and we just keep saying no'. They wanted advice on 'how to deal with us' like we were the freaks??

    What is that saying about the definition of insanity? Trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results. That is them. They do whatever they want all the time, ignore us, but expect that one day this will work.

    GAH!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  14. #29
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    You will never have a relationship with a narcissist so you just need to understand this is not a level playing field so do things your way and move on. They have no empathy and don't waste your time on this one. Minimal adult contact and do not engage in the emotion. Live your life, don't get caught in her made up world.


    Mummy of Max 2 from donor eggs from my lovely sister.

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    Cicho  (21-09-2013),delirium  (22-09-2013),GrabbyCrabby  (22-09-2013),Starfish30  (27-10-2013),SuperGranny  (21-10-2013),Tainted  (25-09-2013)

  16. #30
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    We MUST have the same MIL! (Except she's single now-FIL probably couldn't deal with her either!) 😒

    The ending of my story? MIL walked out after DH told her she can't try & control everything any more & that everything can't be her way (I assume this was her way of having a hissy fit!)... That was 2.5 years ago, we've never seen or spoken to her since (DS1 was about 9m at the time & she's never met DS2). She too told her sob story to DH's whole family, so he no longer has contact with any of them (not even one family member).. I have never felt so free in my life!!!

    Wishing you the best of luck dealing with them all!


 

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