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  1. #191
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    Quote Originally Posted by ElizaDoLittle View Post
    How'd they respond Rach? Hopefully the sweet sound of silence!
    So far!!!
    We did get a really pushy message from a cousin who seems overly desperate to see us... We are close with her but she is, and always has been, team mil. It could just be that she has recently moved back from the US but that was a couple months back. Seemed dodgy that she HAD to see us a particular day iykwim?? When we said we couldn't she insisted we set in stone a time and place next weekend....which seems like a set up but if it is we will just turn around and leave.

    It makes me feel like we are crazy and paranoid... But unfortunately that is what they have done to us!!

    Dh has his first session with his psych since the text messages from his mum 2 weeks ago so interested to hear what he has to say about it all!!!!

    Xx


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  2. #192
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    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
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    Good on you and hubby for standing firm - NOTHING you are asking for is over the top - its what normal people would expect!!!

    I really hope they dont wear you down and if the cousin is a trap I realllly hope you do exactly what you say - turn and walk away.

    xoxo

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    rach85  (14-10-2013)

  4. #193
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    Quote Originally Posted by TimeForWine View Post
    Good on you and hubby for standing firm - NOTHING you are asking for is over the top - its what normal people would expect!!!

    I really hope they dont wear you down and if the cousin is a trap I realllly hope you do exactly what you say - turn and walk away.

    xoxo
    Oh I'm just glad we don't come across as completely paranoid!! We will definitely bail if it is a trap, and lose all trust in the extended family. We both jumped to the same conclusion when we got the invitation, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes. If any sh1t goes down I will beyond lose it

    And THANKYOU for the reminder that it is what normal people expect. God the drama it has caused makes me question if I'm some total nutcase wanting these things. Everytime I have someone say it is normal is like getting a bit of a gold star- like I got it right after all. Lol


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

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    TimeForWine  (14-10-2013)

  6. #194
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Oh I'm just glad we don't come across as completely paranoid!! We will definitely bail if it is a trap, and lose all trust in the extended family. We both jumped to the same conclusion when we got the invitation, but decided to give her the benefit of the doubt and see how it goes. If any sh1t goes down I will beyond lose it

    And THANKYOU for the reminder that it is what normal people expect. God the drama it has caused makes me question if I'm some total nutcase wanting these things. Everytime I have someone say it is normal is like getting a bit of a gold star- like I got it right after all. Lol


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    You were given gut feelings for a reason. If your gut is telling you something is up, it probably is. All I can say is be on your guard! (From my personal experience)

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    TimeForWine  (14-10-2013)

  8. #195
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    Would you consider asking the cousin straight out if she plans on bringing your inlaws along? If she says no and you turn up and they are there, then you could turn around and walk out without any conversation. No need to engage with any of them at all, just walk away.

  9. #196
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post

    Would you consider asking the cousin straight out if she plans on bringing your inlaws along? If she says no and you turn up and they are there, then you could turn around and walk out without any conversation. No need to engage with any of them at all, just walk away.
    I agree with this, your cousin might plead ignorance to their being any issues. I think you have to make it clear MIL isn't invited.

  10. #197
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    Quote Originally Posted by GirlsRock View Post

    Would you consider asking the cousin straight out if she plans on bringing your inlaws along? If she says no and you turn up and they are there, then you could turn around and walk out without any conversation. No need to engage with any of them at all, just walk away.
    Ohh I don't know. Does that make it weird??? Asking her I mean? I almost feel like it might be accusing her of something she hasn't actually done yet? And if I did do it, is it ok to do it behind dh's back? I don't think he'd love the idea is all... But who knows, he said he had a great sesh with the psych today so maybe he would be keen?

    I would just walk away anyway if they were there. I could talk to dh's cousin and explain exactly why after, but at the time I wouldn't feel the need to say a word. The IL's would know what they have done and I'd almost feel like walking away leaves them in the sh1t and would force them to come up with something pretty.... Interesting!!! Iykwim?? It would be sooo awkward for them I'd assume?


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  11. #198
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    I wouldn't go behind Dh's back to ask the cousin. This is your Dh's call to make. Fingers crossed your in laws don't turn up..

  12. #199
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    Perhaps suggest to your DH that he message his cousin the day before you are seeing her saying something like "looking forward to catching up with you. Who else will be there." It then gives her an opportunity to be upfront IF she has organised for the in laws to be there too. Or he could come right out and say "you are probably aware we are not seeing my parents at the moment. I just want to confirm they won't be there when we are catching up".


    Hmm, its tough one really. I don't envy your position AT ALL.

  13. #200
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    Well we already gave ourselves an out- we said we'd do it on the way home from Sydney on Saturday IF we could, depending on what time it was and how dd is coping after such a big trip in a day (we will be driving 5 hours return to have breakfast with our best friends because we haven't seen them for ages!). So we haven't confirmed an exact time or if we'll be there for sure.... But mil would totally wait there all day for us, and then go hysterically crazy when we tried to leave and I'm scared to let dd see that.

    I'll talk to dh when he gets home and see what he thinks about ensuring it is just us. We have been ambushed that many times in the past that reminding him of that will probably make him keen to call/email her well in advance so she knows it is not on and will seriously affect our future relationship with her.

    Omg I'm just starting to realise just how sad all this is...


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.


 

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