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  1. #151
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    Yep definitely batsh!t crazy those ones! Poor DH I hope he's ok. Time to say bye bye I think

  2. #152
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    She's really showing her true colours now. Perhaps because she sees she is losing control. Time to get away from the crazy and to think about cutting them out of your lives totally.

  3. #153
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    Yes she really is. His dad let rip with some whoppers too.

    I wish it wasn't so hard to cut family out. I want to, DH pretty much wants to (or at least can't see a way forward from this)... We have definitely decided that we will be making our home completely off limits for them and their family. Any meetings, if there will be any (I really don't think there should be) will be on neutral ground only.

    They confirmed they wouldn't keep our kids safe if it went against what they believe and what they want to do. And with bil- they said that he has done 'way worse than what we know about and they have decided to not cut him out, even though most people would'. Do not even know what the hell that means or what they are referring to. But if there is something worse than we already know he has done he is one sick freak Terrifying. And if that isn't choosing their proven horrible son (they admitted he is horrible!) over their innocent grandchildren, I don't know what is.

    They confirmed they think our boundaries are ridiculous and abnormal and have no intentions of respecting them.

    They called me a liar, and stated that anything I say-ever- they never believe because I am a liar. They couldn't really explain where they made this up from. They have just decided it?

    They called dh 'cold and uncaring'. And defended mil's hysteria and suicide threats as fine because 'she is just saying how she feels'. What. The. Hell.

    That isn't the worst of what happened and what was said, but they are the deal breakers for me.

    After not seeing their only grandchild for 3 months, I stupidly thought they'd want to make an effort to not attack us, and to perhaps try make an effort to work with us so they had a chance of us working. But they made no effort! They made it all a million times worse. They won't even pretend to comply. I don't get it.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  4. #154
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    Ditch them.

    If not for any other reason but for the fact they don't care if your BIL is near your children.

    That's enough reason right there.

    Be thankful that your DH agrees with you and wants to move forward. Enjoy your little family and be happy together.

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  6. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Yes she really is. His dad let rip with some whoppers too.

    I wish it wasn't so hard to cut family out. I want to, DH pretty much wants to (or at least can't see a way forward from this)... We have definitely decided that we will be making our home completely off limits for them and their family. Any meetings, if there will be any (I really don't think there should be) will be on neutral ground only.

    They confirmed they wouldn't keep our kids safe if it went against what they believe and what they want to do. And with bil- they said that he has done 'way worse than what we know about and they have decided to not cut him out, even though most people would'. Do not even know what the hell that means or what they are referring to. But if there is something worse than we already know he has done he is one sick freak Terrifying. And if that isn't choosing their proven horrible son (they admitted he is horrible!) over their innocent grandchildren, I don't know what is.

    They confirmed they think our boundaries are ridiculous and abnormal and have no intentions of respecting them.

    They called me a liar, and stated that anything I say-ever- they never believe because I am a liar. They couldn't really explain where they made this up from. They have just decided it?

    They called dh 'cold and uncaring'. And defended mil's hysteria and suicide threats as fine because 'she is just saying how she feels'. What. The. Hell.

    That isn't the worst of what happened and what was said, but they are the deal breakers for me.

    After not seeing their only grandchild for 3 months, I stupidly thought they'd want to make an effort to not attack us, and to perhaps try make an effort to work with us so they had a chance of us working. But they made no effort! They made it all a million times worse. They won't even pretend to comply. I don't get it.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    Wow is all I can say. You need to keep your children away from them. They sound clinically insane and BIL well I have no words.. that is just scary.

    Really at the end of the day is there any benefit to having them be a part of your life from your PP's all they do is upset you and your family and cause dramas.By the sounds of it you have more than tried to reason with them but their issues are far greater than simple reasoning. Sometimes it is just easier to walk away...

  7. #156
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    Wow is all I can say. You need to keep your children away from them. They sound clinically insane and BIL well I have no words.. that is just scary.

    Really at the end of the day is there any benefit to having them be a part of your life from your PP's all they do is upset you and your family and cause dramas.By the sounds of it you have more than tried to reason with them but their issues are far greater than simple reasoning. Sometimes it is just easier to walk away...
    I agree. But hubby is finding it really hard to cut them off. He feels so guilty. No idea how to get him to the place where he can cut them off. Years and years of emotional manipulation and guilt I guess. I understand that it is a huge call to cut family off so I feel I need to let him come to the realisation on his own. But I'm struggling!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  8. #157
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    I agree. But hubby is finding it really hard to cut them off. He feels so guilty. No idea how to get him to the place where he can cut them off. Years and years of emotional manipulation and guilt I guess. I understand that it is a huge call to cut family off so I feel I need to let him come to the realisation on his own. But I'm struggling!


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    I know it is hard especially when MIL is a great manipulator and lays on the guilt.

    Maybe then let DH maintain contact with them but not you and not your children. That to me seems fair.

    I think it is disgusting what they said about you. They have no respect for you and your the mother of their grandchildren.

    One can only guess at how they would try to manipulate your children if they get the chance to especially as they get older.

  9. #158
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    I agree with Sharlee32. Let your DH have contact, but you need to block their number from your mobile and home numbers, and block their emails as well. If your DH is still unsure about cutting them off then that is fine, but you don't need to deal with them. Best of luck x

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  11. #159
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    I know it is hard especially when MIL is a great manipulator and lays on the guilt.

    Maybe then let DH maintain contact with them but not you and not your children. That to me seems fair.

    I think it is disgusting what they said about you. They have no respect for you and your the mother of their grandchildren.

    One can only guess at how they would try to manipulate your children if they get the chance to especially as they get older.
    I also agree with Sharlee. Tell DH you respect his right to maintain a relationship but you and your children cannot be around such toxic people. It is really hard deciding to cut a parent out of your life and there is a lot of guilt attached to it. Think about it this way - even children who are abused by their parents still love their parents and want to be with them. Your DH has been subjected to this psychological abuse his entire life, he feels guilty because that is how she has raised him. Yes, he needs to get there in his own time but it's going to be a tough road. Stay strong!

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  13. #160
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    Far out you poor thing. I agree with PP's . Those crazies shouldn't be around you or your innocent kids. If you're hubby can't cut ties yet then well that's on him but I would encourage him to continue to see his counsellor so that one day he might have the strength.

    Block block block! And go have a glass of wine


 

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