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  1. #131
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    Hi Rach85, how is everything going Darl?

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Hi Rach85, how is everything going Darl?
    Thanks so much for asking

    No real update, dh read the email and is furious. We are ignoring it. It has provided us with so much clarity in a way, you can't reason with crazy. Clearly all our attempts to communicate with them in the past about issues have been for nothing. They 100% are the victims, we are 100% the bad guys. There is just nowhere to go from there.

    Basically we are waiting for the next installment. Ignoring them seems to make them escalate. If it keeps going and gets bad enough we will apply for an AVO. We have plenty of evidence because they tend to write everything down. Don't really know what else will make them learn. Might be just the right kick up the bum for them?? Obviously that is worst case scenario and our last move. Hopefully they will grt a clue much before that!

    Taking refuge at home, escaped breifly yesterday arvo to mum and dads because there was a massive bang on the door. I waited till whoever it was went, got dd and ran! Felt a bit silly because there were Endevour Energy people working in our street... So could have just been them!!?? :s

    X


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to rach85 For This Useful Post:

    Cicho  (02-10-2013)

  4. #133
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    Dh texted them and said he'd like to meet tonight, at maccas, at 6.30. He has only three things to say:

    1) If they truely believe we are horrible people and they are 100% blameless and 100% the victims, there is nothing we can do about that and nowhere we can go from there.

    2) our boundaries have not changed and never will.

    3) Dh's brother is a sexual predator and whether they like it or not our children's safety is our primary concern. They will never meet bil, and will never spend time alone with the il's and il's extended family because they are his biggest supporters and don't think he did anything wrong.

    The plan is to not get drawn into anything else. Not try defend ourselves or justify things...

    Their response to his text was 'dad is unwell, I guess we'll come anyway'.

    FFS!!!!!

    Feel so awful like dh is walking into a lions den.... We know it is not going to go well, but at least dh can feel like he did everything he could.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to rach85 For This Useful Post:

    Chippa  (04-10-2013),Cicho  (03-10-2013)

  6. #134
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    Gee I'm hoping the absolute best for your poor DH. What a couple of sh!thead parents he has

    Good on him though, and you, for not backing down. That is the first boundary set in concrete Let us know how is goes for your DH.
    Last edited by Cicho; 03-10-2013 at 16:27.

  7. #135
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    Quote Originally Posted by rach85 View Post
    Dh texted them and said he'd like to meet tonight, at maccas, at 6.30. He has only three things to say:

    1) If they truely believe we are horrible people and they are 100% blameless and 100% the victims, there is nothing we can do about that and nowhere we can go from there.

    2) our boundaries have not changed and never will.

    3) Dh's brother is a sexual predator and whether they like it or not our children's safety is our primary concern. They will never meet bil, and will never spend time alone with the il's and il's extended family because they are his biggest supporters and don't think he did anything wrong.

    The plan is to not get drawn into anything else. Not try defend ourselves or justify things...

    Their response to his text was 'dad is unwell, I guess we'll come anyway'.

    FFS!!!!!

    Feel so awful like dh is walking into a lions den.... We know it is not going to go well, but at least dh can feel like he did everything he could.


    Me 27 + Him 28 =
    DD- 20.7.2012
    #2 due 28.1.2014
    6 angels loved and missed.
    You def need to have DH deal with them. I have had some issues with MIL as well she likes to take control and doesn't ask for my permission to do things to our house. She has just gone ahead and painted tiled rooms ect without my even knowing in the past. DH and I have had many a fight over it and the few times I have said anything to her she glares at me and then cuts us off for weeks which upsets DH a lot. She has also tried the tears ect to get her own way. Anyhow the point is that now DH has set boundaries and he always makes sure she asks us before she does anything to our home. Oh and plus now she doesn't have a key to our new house and that helps a lot. She had keys cut to our old house and used to just go in and out when we were at work.
    Your DH needs to make sure he stays firm with them and if they can't agree or carry on I would simply walk away. Are you going to go as well, I would just to make sure that they don't try to cohearse him or make him back down on anything. Plus they need to know that you are his wife and the mother of their grand kids and they need to learn to treat you with respect. I would have absolutely blown my top over your 1 year old's party. They had no right to go behind your back and exclude you from that.
    Good luck.

  8. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    She has just gone ahead and painted tiled rooms ect without my even knowing in the past.. Oh and plus now she doesn't have a key to our new house and that helps a lot. She had keys cut to our old house and used to just go in and out when we were at work.

    Good luck.
    Lordy be! That is for a whole new thread I think! I would turn all shades of crazy if my MIL ever entered my house without my knowledge, let alone changed anything! I'm getting jittery just thinking about it actually Haha

    That is boundary crossing at it's worst!

  9. #137
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    Lordy be! That is for a whole new thread I think! I would turn all shades of crazy if my MIL ever entered my house without my knowledge, let alone changed anything! I'm getting jittery just thinking about it actually Haha

    That is boundary crossing at it's worst!
    Yes many a fight has being had between me and DH over it but she is a single mum and she raised her children by herself after leaving a domestic voilence situation ect so she has a strong hold over them all and interfears way too much in their lives (still single). It has taken me a few years to get to where we are at now and it has being a constant battle. She used to even go into our bedroom when we were at work I'd notice little things moved..sometimes she'd make it obvious and move a peice of furnniture ect around. I used to go troppo.

  10. #138
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sharlee32 View Post
    Yes many a fight has being had between me and DH over it but she is a single mum and she raised her children by herself after leaving a domestic voilence situation ect so she has a strong hold over them all and interfears way too much in their lives (still single). It has taken me a few years to get to where we are at now and it has being a constant battle. She used to even go into our bedroom when we were at work I'd notice little things moved..sometimes she'd make it obvious and move a peice of furnniture ect around. I used to go troppo.
    That would be grounds for divorce for me. I wouldn't cope with someone going through my personal things. That would be my breaking point I reckon. You must be made of tougher stuff than me

  11. #139
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    Good luck for tonight!

  12. #140
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    Hope the meeting goes OK...i cannot see how it will go well...but, i hope it does lol

    All these MIL stories make me jittery too...MIL used to have a key to our house...I made DH change the locks lmao


 

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