You are very welcome. I hope I've made some sense and not just blabbered on LoL
There is nothing worse than having horrible IL's, and being expected to just 'suck it up!' because they are the parents of your partner and grandparents of your kids.
I look at it this way. Would a friend tolerate that kind of nonsense from your IL's? Probably not, they would run a mile! It took me a few years to put some healthy boundaries in place with my smother-in--laws, but once the worst was over things are much better now.
I wish the best for you, keep us updated! Good luck x