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  1. #771
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    Quote Originally Posted by muzzy View Post
    I honestly think I have the enviromental depression, as it's this horrible ROLLERCOASTER of infertility that is making me feel ****ty! I also am not happy in my job so I think both those combined is what's making me feel so horrible!! I regret having the ads now as it's now on my medical history and I'm so scared it going to go against me for adoption!! I am going to book in appointment with my accupunture guy because I know he helped my anxiety when I saw him last!!
    Hugs, I so get it. I used to cry all the time, now I just internalise it all and have this constant lump in my throat. I see you've been trying a long time, it's hell. It's why I have such difficulty staying in the normal ttc and testing threads. Bc everyone gets pg so easy. I feel jealous, then I feel guilty bc it isn't their fault and I should be happy for them (which I am, just sad for me) and around and around the cycle goes.

    PM me any time you need to chat hun. No one can understand long term ttc until they've walked that path and experienced how hurt and bitter it can make you

  2. #772
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    Well, today is what would have been our angel baby's due date. So sad to think we should have our little bubba with us right now, but instead, no baby and not even pregnant again yet. But, I'm honestly coping better than I thought I would be, especially now we are heading down the path of IVF, I have a renewed feeling of hope. Something to look forward to anyway. Fx


    ME (30) - PCO
    DH (34) - All good!
    TTC #1 since Sept 2012
    BFP Aug 2013 > MC Oct 2013
    Clomid#1 - 50mg (Jan 2014) ovulated CD20 - BFN
    Clomid#2 - 50mg (Feb 2014) ovulated CD18 - BFN
    Clomid#3 - 50mg (Mar 2014) ovulated CD27 - BFN
    Clomid#4 - 50mg (Apr 2014)
    Here's to hoping...

    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #773
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissSmiley01 View Post
    Well, today is what would have been our angel baby's due date. So sad to think we should have our little bubba with us right now, but instead, no baby and not even pregnant again yet. But, I'm honestly coping better than I thought I would be, especially now we are heading down the path of IVF, I have a renewed feeling of hope. Something to look forward to anyway. Fx


    ME (30) - PCO
    DH (34) - All good!
    TTC #1 since Sept 2012
    BFP Aug 2013 > MC Oct 2013
    Clomid#1 - 50mg (Jan 2014) ovulated CD20 - BFN
    Clomid#2 - 50mg (Feb 2014) ovulated CD18 - BFN
    Clomid#3 - 50mg (Mar 2014) ovulated CD27 - BFN
    Clomid#4 - 50mg (Apr 2014)
    Here's to hoping...

    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #774
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    Quote Originally Posted by MissSmiley01 View Post
    Well, today is what would have been our angel baby's due date. So sad to think we should have our little bubba with us right now, but instead, no baby and not even pregnant again yet. But, I'm honestly coping better than I thought I would be, especially now we are heading down the path of IVF, I have a renewed feeling of hope. Something to look forward to anyway. Fx


    ME (30) - PCO
    DH (34) - All good!
    TTC #1 since Sept 2012
    BFP Aug 2013 > MC Oct 2013
    Clomid#1 - 50mg (Jan 2014) ovulated CD20 - BFN
    Clomid#2 - 50mg (Feb 2014) ovulated CD18 - BFN
    Clomid#3 - 50mg (Mar 2014) ovulated CD27 - BFN
    Clomid#4 - 50mg (Apr 2014)
    Here's to hoping...

    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app
    HUGS!!!! I hope ur ok xx

  5. #775
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Hugs, I so get it. I used to cry all the time, now I just internalise it all and have this constant lump in my throat. I see you've been trying a long time, it's hell. It's why I have such difficulty staying in the normal ttc and testing threads. Bc everyone gets pg so easy. I feel jealous, then I feel guilty bc it isn't their fault and I should be happy for them (which I am, just sad for me) and around and around the cycle goes.

    PM me any time you need to chat hun. No one can understand long term ttc until they've walked that path and experienced how hurt and bitter it can make you
    Thank you!! That's why I love bh, I can talk to others who are going through the same thing!!!

  6. #776
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    Hi muzzy, I hope you don't mind me commenting. I totally agree with Delirium. Anti depressants can be a slippery slope and its important to remember that being clinically depressed due to chemical imbalance is worlds apart from being sad due to baby issues. I was at my lowest ebb last year with all the tests, disappointment and friends pregnancies but when I got to breaking point I went in holiday. Totally detached. Reconnected with myself and my fiancé. Exercise, travel, yoga, mediation and new hobbies and friends can turn around all this TTC sadness. I'm shocked the doctor was so quick to prescribe. I don't know you or your situation but I do know this journey is horrid and sometimes taking time out is all that's needed. Anti depressants just block the emotion which won't help long term. Good luck xx


    Me 33 PCOS
    DH 38 Low Morphology 😔
    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation 😔
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    FS/IVF appt June 5th - here we go again!

  7. #777
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    Quote Originally Posted by amiracle4me View Post
    Hi muzzy, I hope you don't mind me commenting. I totally agree with Delirium. Anti depressants can be a slippery slope and its important to remember that being clinically depressed due to chemical imbalance is worlds apart from being sad due to baby issues. I was at my lowest ebb last year with all the tests, disappointment and friends pregnancies but when I got to breaking point I went in holiday. Totally detached. Reconnected with myself and my fiancé. Exercise, travel, yoga, mediation and new hobbies and friends can turn around all this TTC sadness. I'm shocked the doctor was so quick to prescribe. I don't know you or your situation but I do know this journey is horrid and sometimes taking time out is all that's needed. Anti depressants just block the emotion which won't help long term. Good luck xx


    Me 33 PCOS
    DH 38 Low Morphology 😔
    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation 😔
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    FS/IVF appt June 5th - here we go again!
    Thank you!! This is exactly what I need to hear, and this is EXACTLY why the packet is still sitting there!! I don't want to take them and I wish I didn't get them prescribed to me! I hate that it's now on my medical history! I will try acupuncture, the counselling and we have now stopped ttc! I think the clomid made it so much worse! I also now have started thinking about a new job!

  8. #778
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    Well done for being so strong!! In hindsight Clomid made me really angry and I'm petrified to do another cycle when your in it it's the reality but coming through the other side after a break its clear how screwed up 5 little tablets can make you! Take time out, book a little holiday if money allows and enjoy your DH if nothing else you'll get your sanity back! I also had a whole group of friends fall pregnant at the same time so actively became open to meeting new people by going to a yoga retreat. Made me realise life outside TTC does exist. I'm looking at IVF but my main goal is to keep who I am and not let it be a runaway train. Saying that, don't quote me in two months lol!



    Me 33 PCOS
    DH 38 Low Morphology 😔
    TTC#1 since Oct 2012
    Clomid #1- 50mg 11/11/13 - No ovulation 😔
    Clomid #2- 100mg 26/12/13 - Ovulated yay!! - BFN
    TTC Break over
    FS/IVF appt June 5th - here we go again!

  9. #779
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    This whole journey makes us so "crazy" without any drugs!! I have only done 2 rounds of clomid and I'm already giving up, we have been trying since August 2010 so it's been a long journey and I was exhausted before we started the clomid, but I carried on because I was given hope but after 2 months off rejection I think I am done!! I feel sad, I feel heartbroken, confused!

  10. #780
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    Quote Originally Posted by muzzy View Post
    This whole journey makes us so "crazy" without any drugs!! I have only done 2 rounds of clomid and I'm already giving up, we have been trying since August 2010 so it's been a long journey and I was exhausted before we started the clomid, but I carried on because I was given hope but after 2 months off rejection I think I am done!! I feel sad, I feel heartbroken, confused!
    Muzzy.. I understand how your feeling ATM. We gave been TTC since 2011 and just done round 2 of clomid. On the TWW now and I am over it, tired of everything being so calculated and worrying about failure.

    Hope you feel brighter soon and get your bfp.


 

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