+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 10 of 10
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    52
    Thanks
    20
    Thanked
    6
    Reviews
    0

    Default Third Hand Smoke

    Hi everyone,

    Just looking for some reassurance that I'm not being unreasonable, or honest opinions if I am...

    So we completed our parenting class today and the midwife ran through SIDS and what you can do to minimise the risk. One of the tips was to have any smoking family members shower and change clothes before handling bub because the cigarette smoke lingers on them afterwards and can be overpowering when bubby is held close to them.

    This is our first and I'm only 33 weeks so we still have a few more weeks ahead of us before bubs arrival but on mentioning it to mum (a smoker) tonight and letting her know that when she comes to visit us and bub she'll need to wash and change, she didn't seem overly pleased.

    I know it's our baby and we decide what is best for baby and make the rules, but just wondering if this seems over the top. Is it harsh to request that the grandma has to wash and change before she can hold her grandchild?

    Mandy

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Sadly in my experience a fairly typical smokers response OP. I had the same issues with MIL and anyone else who smoked. They had to at the very least wash their hands and DH had a smoking jumper. I'm not against smoking, I smoke occasionally myself. However, this attitude of being made to feel that asking people to do these things means you're over reacting, is my current frigging peeve.

    I actually am having issues with on several levels with grand parent attitudes around my requests as the parent.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Posts
    7,878
    Thanks
    3,397
    Thanked
    5,160
    Reviews
    8
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    In answer to your question, no it's not harsh. It's a fairly simple and easy to follow request.

  4. #4
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    9,997
    Thanks
    6,239
    Thanked
    15,895
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 2/4/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 19/3/15Busiest Member of the Week200 Posts in a week
    She wouldn't be pleased. It's a big effort for her to go to. But that's not your problem - she has other options, such as not smoking at all when her grandchild is going to be around, or choosing to smoke and and not hold her grandchild. Your child, your rules. I'd make sure she knows you're not judging her smoking, and then help her realise it's her choice and hers alone. I say this as a smoker in a non-smoker's body, btw, and have absolutely nothing against people's right to choose what they put in their own bodies. Your baby doesn't have the capacity to make that choice yet, though, and it's your job to protect her and keep her healthy. Absolutely within your rights.

    As a compromise I would suggest a 'smoking jacket', hair back and vigorous hand wash, but only if you are comfortable with that.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    371
    Thanks
    155
    Thanked
    155
    Reviews
    0
    I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Our childbirth education class was told this too - that smoke on clothing/skin is a sids risk and can cause respiratory irritation for babies.

    There's an article here with some info on why it's a risk (how the smoke particles that are left on surfaces and clothing react and form carcinogens), which may help your mum understand from your point of view: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/35318118/n.../#.UjQwgmT0-8E


    Good luck

    ​-----------------------------------------------------
    Last edited by 1234Guest; 14-09-2013 at 21:03.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,898
    Thanks
    3,055
    Thanked
    5,860
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    You are not unreasonable.

    Expecting to cuddle a newborn when you reek of durries and have unwashed hands is unreasonable.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,710
    Thanks
    9,559
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Good on you stand firm!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Posts
    1,017
    Thanks
    315
    Thanked
    584
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I don't think your being unreasonable at all. My DH is a smoker & I made him shower, change clothes etc after smoking before cuddling DD. Luckily he got use to it when I was pregnant cause the smell made me vomit.

    On the positive he has cut back his smoking substantially.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    834
    Thanks
    23
    Thanked
    60
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    If DP doesn't quit before bub arrives she will be getting told she can't touch the baby while she smells of smoke. One of my SIL's will be getting told the same thing, if she smells of smoke she won't be coming in the house or near the baby.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    South East QLD
    Posts
    4,034
    Thanks
    3,349
    Thanked
    1,623
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Stand your ground!

    I'm a smoker. If I had one when the kids were babies I'd shower and change. If I can then any other person can. Sure you'll get some resistance but tough. It's your child so your rules.



    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. Did you smoke while pregnant?
    By BH-community in forum Viewer Polls
    Replies: 97
    Last Post: 11-05-2016, 21:55
  2. This is why we have smoke alarms!!
    By MummyBic in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 16-08-2013, 22:59
  3. Replies: 89
    Last Post: 16-03-2013, 19:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
L'il Aussie Prems Foundation
An Australian charity supporting families of premature babies & children. The charity assists families who are at high risk of giving birth prematurely, who have babies currently in hospital and families with toddlers who were born too soon.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!