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  1. #81
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    Thanks Crystal. No, I didn't receive anything in the mail, she sent all the initial paperwork via email. So all I have is this email address, which I've never got so much as a peeky boo out of it, but she must check it, as that's where I've been sending all my results... or maybe she doesn't.. gosh I don't know.. I never seem to get a straight answer out of her.

    Gamal.Matthias@sswahs.nsw.gov.au
    Last edited by sootymay; 18-10-2013 at 05:35.

  2. #82
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    That's the email I have and the fax number is : 9793 2140, your email is fine, its probably a lot nicer then most people would be. I do know they're in the office after 5 and other girls have received phone calls at 9:00 pm so I'm really hoping she calls you back today.

    Hang in there this will get sorted!!

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to crystal4431 For This Useful Post:

    sootymay  (01-10-2013)

  4. #83
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    Hi, I'm a egg donor searching for my recipient and I must say you ladies are all so brave, supportive and kind women! I'm looking for a recipient that would go to the end of the earth for a baby just like all of you! I wish you all safe travels and them 2 thick pink lines!

    Can I ask why you decided to travel out of Aus?

  5. #84
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    Hi Bokkie wot wot

    We decided to go out of Aus because we only heard how hard it was to find a donor here. I don't know anybody at the right life stage/age who might offer, or who I could ask. I didn't want to write one of those ads because they make me feel so sad whenever I read them. And there are always so many; I couldn't bear the idea of waiting and waiting for some magical response to come in without an end in sight. I am European so I am drawn to the idea of my child sharing an ancestry with me. I suppose overseas donation gives you a sense of a little more control. You don't have to wait. The down side for me, is the fact that the donor is anonymous. I don't want my child to feel lost, or to need to know and not to be able to know, where they come from. I wish I could know my donor. I wish my child could know. I want that for my child - but not so much that it would stop me bringing him or her into the world.

    I don't know if I speak for other ladies here. Or even if they want to disclose their reasons. Crystal, Kheeki, darling Sooty May? (Sooty May I am PRAYING all that stuff gets sorted and that Gwyneth Paltrow gets it together ASAP cos this is IMPORTANT!!!!)

    Thinking of you ladies xxx

    Tights

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    Biba jani  (26-11-2014)

  7. #85
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    Tiggy - I feel exactly the same as you about travelling overseas, so "Ditto"

  8. #86
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    Sooty - Wow. It'd be nice if we were dealing with people who understood how critical every phone call and email was to us. And we feel so powerless to make an issue of the lack of communication because these are the people we rely on and we worry about p!$&!&@g them off. But, you need the details sorted now so no more misses nice guy!

    Crystal - did they indicate why DHs sample may have changed so much? I have my DH permanently on Menevit. We've only one test done but really dodgy swimmers and have always used ICSI. We've never had any problems with fertilisation even though apparently only a handful of sperm know what their job is and the rest I think have three heads! But he can laugh about the one's swimming around in circles. I understand why you specified under 25 year donor. I struggled to specify. I have the same characteristics as you (blonde, blue eyed) but prioritised either a prior successful donor or someone who has children. I worry that I didn't set an age limit.

    Tiggy - I sent photos of me in my early 30s when I was a bit more smokin'. I couldn't send anything earlier because the 90s weren't kind to me! I totally agree with you about your thoughts on deciding to do DE overseas. If it was a realistic time frame in Aus and similar degree of stress I would do it here. I/We don't have the luxury of time nor the desire to fight a system that seems hell bent on making our dream impossible. My mother was telling me she was talking to a close friend of hers who said "maybe it wasn't meant to be". My amazing mother said to her then how do you explain people doing 15+ IVF cycles and getting success? Go mum! As much as I do have concerns about the anon donor issues I don't doubt they can be overcome and feel so grateful and privileged to go to a country that understands. If I have success I know my own connection and DHs to CZ will be forever. And, for you, having a EUR background probably makes it feel even more like home. At the end of the day the questions thrown at us are usually from people who have not faced our circumstances and therefore, in my mind, have no place to comment.

    Dream names? I have a Scottish ancestry so must admit I am drawn to Gaelic names in the way you are with Polish. I haven't allowed myself to think too much about names because it gets so real for me. But, my DH has a daughter (9 years) and he really wants a boy so when I see a small pair of cargos or tiny pair of Converse I just melt!

    Ps Tiggy - I had to go back through a couple of pages of posts to confirm that Gwyneth Paltrow was playing no actual part in this!
    Last edited by Kheeki; 01-10-2013 at 21:31.

  9. #87
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    PS Crystal - who are you flying with? You've booked so early you're freaking me out again! One of the reasons we looked at the end of Jan was because the flights are cheaper but you've managed to get approx the same price for mid Jan? We are looking at Qantas flying for Emirates. Is anyone else,like us, having to count coins to make it to Jan? I can't complain we spend a month in Hawaii every year but it does take a toll financially and we've just come back and are flat broke. I'm hoping to hit mum up closer to the time cos she is desperate for this to work. Blackmail I know.

    Also, need all your thoughts on something. I currently have a job where I can walk to walk. Huge luxury. But, another job has come up where I could earn about $1000 more per month (2 days less work per month) but the stress is probably greater and I would have to travel about 40 mins each way. Which I have done for most of my career until I scored a job close to home. The flexibility for taking leave is better because its fixed contract so I don't get paid for when I don't work. I would love to hear your thoughts on weighing up the pros and cons? xx
    Last edited by Kheeki; 01-10-2013 at 21:33.

  10. #88
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    Crystal - The phone arrived yesterday - HUGE thank you. I'm wrapped.... a little piece of South Africa - ha ha ! ....... and one less thing to do when we arrive, thank you

    Kheeki - ooooh that is a hard one. Mmmmh. Depends I guess... maybe on how well you handle stress with the new job been more demanding? $250 extra a week is a lot. So I guess it depends how much you need the extra money too. Sometimes the extra money isn't worth it & sometimes its def better "the devil you know" than starting out again with new colleague's etc?? Depends on your type of work place... do you have to settle in with new colleagues & all that comes with that as well.

    I drive to work every day, 5 days a week, anything from 1 - 1.10 hours a day, EACH way !!!!!!!! I can tell you... 1. I never used to be an impatient driver (I love driving, & am polite) .... well sadly I still love driving, but I get so fed up with imbeciles on the road... don't even get me started.... no indicating, changing lanes on a 5 lane highway, cutting others off.... accidents waiting to happen every single second of the day.... errrghhh - so that alone is stress raising. I'm even thinking once I get pregnant, I will really need to cool off and calm down - or take the train (which unfortunately makes my day even longer, adds another 45mins to the trip, then been a 7-7pm day away from home. Unfortunately its not easy to find work near home.

    SO Back to you. I've got friends that say to me, theres no way they could do what I do. I guess you've got to go back to how you felt when you did work further from home and what that meant to you. We are going into daylight savings, so that's a bonus when you work further from home... winter makes the drive feel even worse. And if you get pregnant, will you be taking maternity leave and not going back for awhile anyway (if you were in the new job?)... will you get maternity leave? Maybe not, been contract work, but the flexibility is better? Mmmmh... let us know what you decide? Good luck with another decision to make!
    Last edited by sootymay; 02-10-2013 at 05:25.

  11. #89
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    Thank you Sooty. Great advice. I completely forgot about mat leave! I think I get about 8 weeks in my current job. Which is pretty poor but better than nothing I suppose. When you get pregnant you'll need some calming meditation for the drive to work. Although, you'll be pregnant and will probably love all drivers on the road because all will be right in the world!

    Good luck getting some response from G today xx

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    sootymay  (02-10-2013)

  13. #90
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    Hi Bokkie

    Our reasons are much the same as Tiggy's. We'd already been trying to have a child for 5 years and couldn't bear the thought of jumping on the ED roller coaster here.
    I too didn't like the idea of 'advertising'. It felt too desperate and like Tiggy said I also think it's pretty sad.
    I also didn't like the idea of someone else feeling like they had saved us and wanting to be a part of our lives. I did not under any circumstances want someone else watching over our shoulder as we raised 'their child'. I had been on to the ED forums and read how some donors spoke about the children that arose from the eggs they donated and I didn't like it. You donate a cell of your body; you don't put a child up for adoption, but that's the way some donors spoke about it.
    We didn't want to go through the process of finding a donor (possibly years), doing all the testing, counselling etc (6-9 months) and then having the donor pull out and us be left with nothing.
    Also, in Australia the vast majority of donors are over 30. The highest success rates come with donors under 30.

    Lastly, it's just so simple and straightforward to go overseas. You contact the clinic and you can be there in 10 weeks with for example a 22yr old proven donor who is a complete physical match (physically, the only difference between my donor and I is that she's 5cm taller than me!). So you can potentially have a child within 12 months of starting the overseas process. In Australia you will probably still be waiting for a donor who is most likely not going to be a good physical match, is most likely going to be over 30 and may want to be a part of your family forever so they can see 'their' child.

    ***
    One the airfare note:
    Those are great prices!!! One thing I would say is that if you fly Qantas, get a frequent flyer card (they usually have a free sign up deal - we got ours free when we got a Woolworths reward card thing) and if you shop at Woolies you can earn FF points. We ended up with enough points to fly to Singapore, but we haven't used them yet.
    The first time we flew we got a partner Qantas fare with FinAir. They were fantastic! We had to go through Helsinki so we spent the day and did a tour. It was so interesting!


 

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