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  1. #1
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    Default Not feeling attachment parenting

    Both my partner and I believe in nurturing a child and not leaving a baby to cry, but we don't believe in bed sharing or not vaccinating our child and we really aren't fans of wearing a baby like an accessory all the time. We will be facing harsh criticism from both our families as they all think attachment parenting is the best and produces superior children but I guess we have to do what is best for us. We are looking for resources : books, blogs etc for common sense or science based parenting ( though we really hate parenting labels with a passion) or even share your experiences as a non AP parent it seems to be all were seeing at the moment and feel as if we're doing the wrong thing

  2. #2
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    Everybody has their advise (especially family and friends) and you can always take and leave whatever you want. You do not have to feel like you have to back yourselves up, nor defend your parenting choices. After the first it is so much easier (until you discover that children are individuals and what works for one may not necessarily work for the other!) because you have learned what works for but mostly you learn how to say thank you and NO thank you!

    You are not doing the wrong thing just because it is not the same. Guaranteed your parent's were not brought up the same way as you were brought up! This is your time to parent, they have already had their turn. They can Grandparent now!

    I found learning on the job with a variety of different books to pull strategies from helped with my daughter, I too wasn't big into baby wearing like an accessory etc, until I had my son and he cried all the time and I couldn't get ANYTHING done at all. Then suddenly I realised change is good and so is flexibility, and most of all so is getting things done without having to comfort a screaming baby. Everything I had learned with my daughter helped me with my son, but most of it was the opposite! What worked with her just didn't with him. Thankfully I did learn to tell people when to back off and let me be a parent (nicely though).

    There are new books out now, better then when I had my DD, but I recommend heading to the Library to source some of them out. Some are filled with good info but are difficult to read, others are easy to read but may not be what you are after, so best to not take anyone's word for it but your own. Try before you buy!

  3. #3
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    For someone who hates parenting labels with a passion, you sure do seem to be buying into them! And seriously - "common sense" parenting?
    I recommend you stop trying to label and judge parenting behaviours and go with what feels right to you and your family.

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  5. #4
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    I was not sure what my parenting style was with ds. But he was raised by the baby wise books. Not to the letter but what I found suited us at the time. I'm ap this time as ds2 won't have it any other way. I do recommend the baby wise books but not for every thing. The feeding only works for formula babies not demand feeding. For example.
    Good luck with family. I still get hell for the way I parent my boys. Nothing is good enough for some people.

  6. #5
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    Vaccination has nothing to do with attachment parenting. Unfortunately most science based parenting sources will be for co-sleeping and definitely against leaving a baby to cry . Maybe have a look at pinky and go from there. Or dr sears.

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    Atropos  (11-09-2013)

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    Just do what works. Who cares what anyone thinks. Every bub is different and you need to use your own instincts. Stop reading parenting books. If you hate labels so much stop using them.

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    jez  (11-09-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by DarcyJ View Post
    Just do what works. Who cares what anyone thinks. Every bub is different and you need to use your own instincts. Stop reading parenting books. If you hate labels so much stop using them.
    Completely agree.

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    I don't label parenting. I believe very child has different needs and you parent that child according to their needs.

    Find what works for you and your bub and go with that. As long as you are meeting all their needs.

    There is no right or wrong style of parenting.

    Sent from my GT-P5110 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    House Mummaxxxx  (11-09-2013)

  13. #9
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    Firstly, AP is a way of responding g to your child's needs. Vaccination does not belong to AP or non AP parents.
    Secondly, baby wearing is not done to make an "accessory" of a child, it is done to provide closeness to your bub as well as to get things done at the same time as baby wants to be close to you. It's been practiced around the world for centuries in various forms, it's not some fashion statement.

    Parenting doesn't have to have a label. Do what works for you.

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  15. #10
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    "The science of parenting" by dr Margot Sutherland is a good, easy to read book based on thousands of research papers.
    The Aha parenting website is very research based and by far my favourite parenting resource, particularly for toddlers and beyond. I'd agree that most science based parenting resources would tend to promote co-sleeping (in same room if not in same bed)


 

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