My baby girl was born on Wednesday. We had a traumatic birth (emergency csection) and she was rushed off to NICU for a blood transfusion. I was in a lot of pain and unable to get to see her until that evening. The doctors had called and asked would I prefer they formula feed her or put her on a drip. I chose a drip as I wanted to BF. My midwife helped to express some colostrum to give her as well. Fast forward a few days and I was able to get down to NICU and try to feed her myself. She latched on absolutely fine but didn't really suck anything. I was still expressing so she was given that as well. I gave them permission to give her formula to top up so I could get her off the drip. They said she could only leave NICU once she was feeding properly so I didn't have much choice. As the days went on I started expressing enough that we were able to get rid of the formula and top her up with EBM which I was so proud of. When she finally came up to our room I was bf for about 6mins either side then topping her up with 30/40mls EBM. We gradually increased to about 10mins each side and started reducing the EBM to about 20mls. I was really excited about eventually getting her off the bottle completely. She was feeding 4 hourly and not waking up in between so I was happy she was full and we were doing the right thing.
We got home yesterday (Monday) and since then feed time has been an absolute nightmare. She is latching on for maybe 10mins one side and 5 on the other. She was then taking 30mls of EBM in a bottle. I was getting so down and stressed that she was starting to stop taking my breast very well. We called the ABA at 6am and they said we should drop the bottle because she was anticipating getting it and it was easier for her than having to work at the boob. We decided to have a go and so far today we haven't given her anything from the bottle. She still isn't increasing her time at the boob though and I'm getting really upset that she isn't drinking enough. She woke an hour earlier for her last feed which quite distressed me and made me feel like I haven't filled her properly. This feed she did 8mins on one side and 3mins on the other. I am seriously freaking out that I am under feeding my child and that I'm harming her in some way. I'm teary after every feed and I'm just really struggling.