It sounds like she thrives on drama. Just keep being overly nice and pretty much ignoring her and she'll either move on to someone else or get over it.
To be the devil's advocate on the b*tching issue... If you know everyone dislikes her and nobody thinks her relationship will last, then surely you're all doing a bit of b*tching about her too.
I think expecting people not to ever say a bad word about your behind your back is wishful thinking... It will never happen. Instead, relish the fact that nobody cares what she's saying because they all like you more.
It's not your fault her kid got sick and really... Who cares. It's not like she's been infected with anthrax so she needs to get over it... But maybe it's a case of her knowing none of your like her, and has her back up a little because of that? I know it's easier to hate every little thing someone does when you think they're a jerk... Maybe she can see through the happy families act and is feeling a bit touchy?
I personally just wouldn't bother with her. I would say hi and bye at gatherings but beyond that, I would pretty much ignore her.
Just a different perspective.
When I was suffering from PND, germs and my babies getting sick caused me a lot of anxiety. To the point that my hands were red raw from washing them so much and I would leave somewhere if someone so much as had a cough. It was a horrendous way to live. What made it worse was dh's family, who thought it was all a bit of a joke and an over reaction on my behalf and would forever put me in situations that would cause immense anxiety. Alot of new mothers get anxious over germs and sickness and I remember when I was a new mum how terrifying sickness was and how much I tried to protect my babies. I know it might seem like an over reaction to you but think of the torment and anxiety she must be feeling to make such a big deal out of something that small. iam very grateful to the small amount of people in my life that did respect my fear and help relieve my anxiety and yes my relationship with my inlaws has never fully recovered even though I am no longer suffering PND and irrational anxiety.
now I'm well, I have absolutley no fear of germs or sickness. My psych has told me it was part of my illness.
im not trying to play devils advocate by the way, I get what your saying. I genuinely suffered from this quite severely and it really caused alot of heartache in my life for a while being so irrational about sickness. I also had a dsd who was pretty much permantly was sick the whole winter my first child was born. It was very hurtful to dh and dsd but at least they tried to understand and not push me into situations I was uncomfortable with. Dh's family were terrible. Gossiped about me and what a bish I was for not letting dsd hold her new sibling (when sick). It cause irreparable damage and 5 years down the track I still feel very hurt when I think about it all. They all just lacked empathy, kindness and didn't even try to understand.
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