+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,882
    Thanks
    351
    Thanked
    1,438
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Vent about my lazy a**e family

    I went on strike a few months ago hoping it would sink in how much I do for them and they would stop being lazy. It worked for a little while and now it seems we are right back to where we started! I am exhausted and really starting to resent them because I will do the dishes and leave the water in so they can wash what they are using but they will just leave the dish on the edge of the sink and if I don't do the dishes they just won't get done. I do all the washing and they won't even give me a hand by sorting their clothes into the right piles they just end up piled on the floor of the laundry and forget about helping me fold them if I don't do it they will just leave it. I cook dinner and I can't even get a thank you! I get that I am a housewife and mother and doing all these things are my job but honestly they won't even put stuff they have had away or put their own rubbish in the damn bin and if I don't clean it up then it will sit there which would drive me insane and worry me that the baby will pick it up and swallow stuff, sorry for the rant like I said I am just over it!!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Posts
    3,487
    Thanks
    449
    Thanked
    1,571
    Reviews
    12
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Have you spoken to them? Asides from just ignoring the mess hoping they will clean it up, have you discussed it as a family? Do they know that the water in the sink is for them to wash up or are they so use to you doing it they just think you will do it?
    The reason I say that, is because I am super vocal that I am not the slave here, yes as the Mum I do a majority and that is fine - but I work and am busy too - so we have rules, for example, my 4 yr old knows plates don't live on the table, you take them to the kitchen and scraps go in the bin (that is as much as I can expect for her age). Both my 1yr old and 4yr old know where to put their dirty clothes and both do at the end of the day. They clean their toys before bed, sure, not at my standard but they are still helping. Funnily enough I find my kids love helping, they love responsibility as they feel grown up. I think if you set some boundaries and rules/chores, your life would be easier. Good luck.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to MummaOJ For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (06-09-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Why do you let them get away with this? Our kids are given jobs. There is no question of not doing them. They are expected to be contributing members of the household. They are given pocket money and certain privileges like time on computers, TV, the pool (in summer) etc but all these things are subject to their chores being done. No chores=no privileges and they must complete their chores at the first opportunity. With DH we discussed early on that this marriage is a partnership and we share housework accordingly. He works more hours than I do at the moment but that doesn't mean he gets to do nothing. Maybe call a family meeting and set some new ground rules? Explain your expectations and tell your kids what they will be doing from now on. Of course, discuss with your DH first, and present a united front to the kids. You will have to remind them to do things, or put up a list or chart while they get used to it.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,654
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,267
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    What works for us is


    * spend the time to teach them, most kids will need more then one time deal.

    *reminders, kids need reminders.

    * consequence that are set and the kids know what they are, followed through with every time.

    * rewards even if that is just a lot of praise,

  6. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (06-09-2013),VicPark  (06-09-2013)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Location
    Adelaide SA
    Posts
    4,843
    Thanks
    716
    Thanked
    733
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Maybe you need you start with small parts at a time.
    Strike on washing anything not in the washing basket. If left in the lounge, throw it in their room until they put it in the basket.
    Then move onto food and dishes etc.

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to moongazer For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (06-09-2013)

  9. #6
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    They will only take advantage of you as long as you let them. Get everyone together and explain your expectations clearly. And consequences. Write them on a poster and stick them on a wall. If you have a partner tell him/her to get on board and support you.

    I agree with refusing to wash clothes not in the basket. Perhaps give yourself 3 nights off cooking a week if the kids/hubby don't want to help its beans on toast for them. If toys aren't put away they go in a garbage bag in the garage for 1 week.

    Good luck.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (06-09-2013),BornToBe  (07-09-2013),oozzle  (06-09-2013)

  11. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,882
    Thanks
    351
    Thanked
    1,438
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have spoken to them many many times it is to the point where I feel like I am never having a nice conversation with them anymore because it is always me telling them off for leaving me to do everything. I have grounded and taken things off them, I have gone as far as to throw stuff left laying around in the bin. Believe me I have tried everything you are all suggesting and nothing seems to stick

  12. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Posts
    4,117
    Thanks
    2,910
    Thanked
    3,332
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    How old are the kids?

  13. #9
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    2,882
    Thanks
    351
    Thanked
    1,438
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Nearly 7, 9 and 1 so the older 2 are definitely old enough to be cleaning up their messes

  14. #10
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    4,765
    Thanks
    1,903
    Thanked
    2,790
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    DD is 6 so a little bit younger, but we sat at the computer together and she came up with a list of things she is to do when we come home in the evening (it's pretty basic - lunch box in the kitchen, shoes away, piano practice etc). I laminated the list and it is on the door. There is no TV or dinner until the list is complete. I do have to remind her every day though.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Vent about family!!
    By haveheart in forum General Chat
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 03-01-2013, 17:56
  2. Lazy DH
    By cookiedough in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 21-10-2012, 15:52

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Xmas with a NEW Fridge-to-go Lunch Bag! Fridge-To-Go Australasia
Fridge-to-go 8 hour cooler bags are ideal under the Christmas tree! Now in modern lunch bag designs - fill them with toys and chocolate to make parents and kids happy! Stay super cool and eat healthy and fresh food all summer long!
sales & new stuffsee all
CarmelsBeautySecrets
Growing your own natural nails is easy. Years ago, I devised a simple and very effective technique which really helps boosts the nails' growth in as little as three days! And most importantly keeps them that way.
featured supporter
Einsteinz Music
Fun & interactive music classes!
Classes are taught by professional musicians! Children are taught the fundamentals of music: beat, pitch, rhythm and tempo through hands-on experience. Click for more details!!!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!