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  1. #1
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    Default What do you wish you knew?

    I'm a first time mum to twins and a midwife gave advice to relax and treat your first hub as if it were your third. So I'm wondering...what do you look back and wish you knew with your first? Either practical advice on how to do things better/easier or thoughts for your own sanity. After a tough day yesterday I'd love to know simple things that experienced mums have learned along the way.

    Sent from my GT-S5830T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    I was only thinking about this yesterday but more to do with what to buy.

    Babies don't need bathing every day. A wipe over every day and a bath every few days is fine. But on the other side of the coin - if a bath is the only thing that settles bub there is nothing wrong with running one at 3am.

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  4. #3
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    So many things! I stressed about everything with my first.

    I wish I knew:
    - the difference between a happy laugh and an I'm tired laugh
    - it doesn't matter if they are on a routine or not as long as you are happy and it works
    - if they have to cry for just a minute while you finish cooking dinner then it won't kill them
    - give them a minute when they are first trying finger foods to get it in the right place. Don't immediately assume they are choking.
    - nudey skin to skin in the shower is great for meltdowns and sick babies
    - doctors don't know everything. If you think there is something wrong there probably is. Trust your instincts always.
    - other people's babies are not your own. What works for one may not work for you and that doesn't matter.

    I just think you are more intuitive with your third because you have more confidence in yourself. If you can relax and trust yourself you'll go a long way to listening to your own intuition and your baby.

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    Albert01  (05-09-2013),Amira  (06-09-2013),HowCrazyCool  (05-09-2013),NAT256  (05-09-2013),olismumma  (05-09-2013)

  6. #4
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    That one baby is a hell of a lot easier than twins, so go easy on yourself. I had twin first too, and have only realised this since having dd 4 weeks ago.

    That asking or and accepting help is ok- in fact you'd be mad not to!

    3 months will see a huge improvement, and it does keep getting easier from there.

    Each day is new- let go of what happened yesterday or last night- if you carry the anger or frustration over then it can ruin your whole day.

    Fresh air makes things better. If you just can't get out for a walk, go to the letterbox. If both babies are screaming, put them in the pram and go! Their screaming isn't as loud out in the open, and with any luck the motion will put them to sleep.

    Baby wearing is good if you can- it's hard with two I know!

    When you have visitors or you are around trusted friends and family, let them hold the babies. You can eat with two hands, you can play on your phone guilt free/ you can just go what ever you want!

    Take lots if photos, because chances are you won't remember much of these early days without them!

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  8. #5
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    Don't worry about routines or sleep schedules unless your baby naturally falls into one. Toddlers like routines, babies' schedules are always changing.

    Cuddle your newborn as much as he needs and/or as much as you want. Ignore people who talk about spoiling babies. You can't spoil your baby by being loving and giving him what he needs.

    Just do what feels right for you. Babies are different, families are different, what works for some wont necessarily work for others.

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    That people say "Let me know if there is anything i can do" because they really do want to help and feel usefull - not just a polite thing to say! Accept all offers of help!!

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  12. #7
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    Also...done babies are harder than others. Don't let a mum make you feel bad because your child doesn't do xyz easily/early/without losing it. I've had three and I could rank them on order of ease. My first wasn't the hardest.

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    If someone gives you some advice, but following it goes against your every instinct, don't follow it!

    For 'useful' advice in general - smile and nod!

    Yes, it is normal to worry over ever little blemish, odd noise, poo colour etc.

    I also like PP's advice that what worked for someone else's baby may not work for yours.

    Have a shower every day - even if baby(ies) has to scream for 3 minutes while you do.

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    A close friend told me that you are the perfect mum for your baby. I thought I was a huge failure with ds1 when he was a baby and couldn't do anything right, but this honestly helped. I know it's not practical advice but it really helped me.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  18. #10
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    The biggest thing for me is that I stressed about what I thought my baby 'should' be doing. I'd hear other people say "Oh well I just have to put my baby in the cot when he's sleepy and he goes to sleep." Which is great for those people but it didn't work for me. And that's fine.

    Also, other people will give you unwanted advice. Ignore them. Smile politely and continue doing exactly what you think you should do. Unless you've asked for advice, they will probably only be saying something stupid anyway. Like, don't pick your baby up straight away when he cries because you're spoiling him

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