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  1. #1
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    Default My friend tells me to "smile and stay postive" after a tragedy in my life..

    We went through a serious tragedy in our lives that became recognised in the news. When I rang a friend to share with her she told me that she also recently lost her Father in law and didn't feel too bad about it at all. Her advice to me was to "smile and stay positive" That is so difficult to do..Are these the words from a good friend?

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    I know its never what anyone wants to hear, but she is probably just trying to keep you smiling. I tend to be one of the people that just gets on with it, will have a melt down at some point or another. Don't take it to heart too much.

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    Words from a friend that just doesn't get it. Sometimes it is really, really difficult to find the right words to say to someone who has been through a tragedy. I notice that people tend to try and find something "similar" and apply it, oh yes "I lost my great, great grandmother but she was like a grandmother" etc etc. I don't think it is malice. I genuinely feel that people just don't know what to say in certain situations.

    I would say, if someone said something like that again -something along the lines of. "I am devastated, you telling me to smile and stay positive is not helpful at all" etc etc,

    I am sorry for your loss.

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    beancounter  (04-09-2013),Bubbles10  (06-09-2013),αληθη  (04-09-2013),LoveLivesHere  (04-09-2013)

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    I had a friend who said something similar after a tragedy I was so shocked but personally no I don't think so.
    Telling you to stay positive and smile but not about her fil. I don't know what has happened but I hope your ok and it is something you can get through and come out on the other side

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    Sometimes people just don't know what to say. I know I personally struggle when someone close to me loses someone. I know words just aren't enough

    I am really sorry for what you are going through xx

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    Im also going through a serious tragedy and I find its really hard for some people to talk about it. Often people say the wrong thing but are well meaning. You will probably hear a few things that you think are inappropriate, it's better to let it go as you have enough to deal with. I'm sorry about your situation.

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    I agree with beancounter. My brother suicided many years ago and no one knew how to talk to me. I just learned to ignore practically everything people said to me. It was easier that way.

    look after yourself

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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    I dont think its acceptable.



    Why cant people say "im so terribly sorry, i wish i knew what to say to make it better for you, im here if you need me"


    Not fecking "smile" why the heck would anyone smile in the face of tragedy?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    Sometimes people just don't know what to say. I know I personally struggle when someone close to me loses someone. I know words just aren't enough

    I am really sorry for what you are going through xx
    This. You actually don't know what to say to someone at these times. Words are never enough and I'm not sure she could say anything that would be truly soothing.

    I hope you're coping ok and have others around you that you can lean on for support.


 

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