Hello to all you lovely Solo Mamas out there.
I've been reading your posts for a while, and decided I'd better be gutsy enough to post one. BTW: I love how supportive you all are of each other. It's lovely!
I just need to put down in writing my ridiculous situation. I met my partner in Alice Springs, and I moved there for work from Brissie. Soon after that, we got together and lived happily in his house (breaking my own rule of never living with someone...stoopid me). He is divorced with another child of 8.
At Christmas I found out I was pregnant, and we both decided to move back to Brissie. I knew he was a country bloke, so offered to move back to Alice Springs if he didn't like it here. As soon as we arrived, he decided he hated it, and that he wanted to move to...get this...Coober Pedy. Yup. The place where they live under the ground because it's TOO DAMN HOT to be above ground. The *** end of Australia. The middle of the desert. A place where I know no-one, will be stuck under the ground with a tiny baby, too hot to go out, inadequate medical facilities, SO isolated, highest unemployment in Australia etc.
But...the best part of all is that he just TOLD me that he was going. And expected me to follow. No negotiation, no discussion. This was so traumatic for me while pregnant - I cried buckets and buckets of tears
I didn't think I could go it alone. But now I have my beautiful baby girl in my arms, I know that I can, and that if he can consider going without us, then he should. I have told him that, and he still insisted he was going. So it's good-bye to him , and hello solo mama-hood. I thought I would be nice, and not just kick him out, so since I told him to go, he has been here for 6 weeks. He finally leaves on 25th November. I have progressed from being sad and hurt, to being angry and detesting him. He is walking out on me and our beautiful 3 month girl, yet he tells me all the time how much he loves us, and how beautiful we both are.
He is truly doing my head in. How can someone decide to walk out, and then be sugary syrupy sweet to me and our baby. It makes me feel physically sick every time he even talks to our little girl, and I want to hit him over the head and say "DO YOU REALISE YOU ARE LEAVING? You are not going to be part of her life. She will not know you! You are a low life scum of the earth. Not a real man."
I think he thinks we will still play happy families when he comes to visit (note: he stays at his ex's house when he visits his son...and they haven't told him they are divorced...very wierd situation). I honestly don't want to even talk to him once he is gone. I know he will call every week and expect me to give him a full blown description of our baby's week. Is it wrong of me to think that once he is gone, he is gone? He can come and visit, but I'm not going to make him feel OK about not being here by telling him all about how she is growing up.
What should I do? Emily is only 3 months old, so won't be able to talk to him for years, and I don't want to talk to him. Do any of you have advice on how to handle it?
Gee...this is a very long ramble...late night for me...and I have the flu...blah
Any advice greatly appreciated from you wise Solo Mamas (and Fathers).