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  1. #1
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    Default Am I wrong?

    When DP and I found out I was pregnant it was a massive shock, I was on the pill and we'd only been together a few months.

    We already had a lot of stress in our lives, we had made the decision to move in together as DP got a new job and had to move from Central QLD to the sunny coast, so we went together.
    Since January I had also had my mum, my aunt and my uncle all diagnosed with cancer (I'm from the UK so all my family is back home) and it was very hard for me to deal with being so far away but no one wanted me to come home unless it was necessary. My uncle suddenly died, since then my mum and my aunt have got all the clear but we're now waiting for genetic tests to see if I have the cancer gene.

    I have always had issues with anxiety and panic attacks since I was a child. I have also suffered horrendously with morning sickness, I've been vomiting everyday since 6 weeks and am now 16 weeks and still going, I haven't been able to work which has added more stress to the situation.
    I have been distant and angry and sad and emotional and feeling helpless, I took it upon myself to realise its time to grow up and I need to deal with these things (and other personal issues) now before the baby comes so I took myself to my Dr who has told me I need to go depression/anxiety medication as this will be easier to 'cure'/make me better whilst pregnant rather than when the baby comes.

    For a little info on my DP he was in a ba accident 4'years ago, he fell off a mountain and was in a coma, and was very sick. His mum also got cancer around the time and died shortly after, he blames himself for his mums death, he thinks his mum died to save his place on earth. And he's never dealt with it, he had depression and just put himself into a new relationship at the time to not think about it, he also smoked a lot of weed, which he claims empties his brain and allows him to relax, that was his dealing mechanism and he's admitted he knows its the wrong thing to do.
    He also has a friend who is into drugs, not just weed and I told him 2 weeks ago that I will not have anyone around my child who has anything to do with drugs, no matter what drug and no matter who they are

    Now my Dr told me 2 days ago I need medication and that she was actually very worried about me. My partner came home last night and admitted he had bought weed, I told him he was stupid, and again that I wasn't having anything like that around my child whether its born yet or not and whether its the child's father or a stranger. We had an argument and I told him if he smoked it then I would be leaving and we would be over. I then went to my friends down the road.

    I came home and he had smoked it, so I told him that was it. Am I in the wrong? He told me I'm over reacting.

    There is also other things that he has done recently to make me lose trust and respect for him, but I think my post is long enough as it is! Feel free to ask though!

  2. #2
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    Can I ask how old your dp is?
    If he is 20 then I would be more open to working it out as there is a higher chance of him growing up and realising there are better ways to deal with stress.
    If he is 30+ then I would realise he probably isn't going to change and do what is best for you and your child.
    Have you tried suggesting to him to see a doctor? He might need antidepressants or counselling?
    You have both been through a lot.
    xx

  3. #3
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    My DP is 28, I'm 21.

    I have suggested that he needs to see someone, he's under the impression talking doesn't help anything!


 

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