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  1. #1
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    Default with two older kids, is it better for baby's gender to match the older or younger?

    I have older DD (6) and DS (4), and a surprise bub coming up
    Obviously the baby will be what it would be, but if you had to give your opinions, with a bigger age gap from older 2, would better family dynamics come about from baby matching gender of the oldest (will be almost 7 years gap!) or the younger of the two? If one could run the world and choose lol

    Anyone with girl boy boy or girl boy girl dynamics to give input?
    Last edited by jayla14; 31-08-2013 at 07:31. Reason: Said DS instead of DD!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by jayla14 View Post
    I have older DS (6) and DS (4), and a surprise bub coming up
    Obviously the baby will be what it would be, but if you had to give your opinions, with a bigger age gap from older 2, would better family dynamics come about from baby matching gender of the oldest (will be almost 7 years gap!) or the younger of the two? If one could run the world and choose lol

    Anyone with girl boy boy or girl boy girl dynamics to give input?
    Well I don't have children yet but I do have two older brothers one is 7 years older and the other is 3.5 years older than me. As young children I was much closer to 3.5 year old gap brother. As teenager I was much closer to 7 year gap brother BUT he moved back home when I was 15 so that might be why and 3.5 year gap brother had moved out of the family home then as well. Now as a 33 year old they are very close to each other and me not at all. I constantly wish I had a sister as I feel that if I did we would be closer now.

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    Iim a bit confused if they are both boys wouldnt you be matching the gender of both if you have another boy?

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    oops, what a typo!!! I meant, I have an older DD and younger DS! lol
    Otherwise, yes, that would be pretty odd lol

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    I only have the one child but I grew up with sister, brother, brother, me. My sister was more like my mother, my second oldest brother and I were really distant and my other brother who's 3.5 years older than me was my best friend until he moved out when I was 15.
    Now that we've all moved out my sister and oldest brother are closest to me and other brother and I barely talk (not from fights or anything, just don't keep in touch). So from my experience I think if your bub is a girl, she will absolutely adore and look up to your DS like I did to my brother (and a lot of other little sisters of friends have been the same )


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    I'm the oldest of three (me '82, bro '84 & sis '87). Until I was about 10, I was really close to my brother, but then I started growing up, and he didn't. I left home before my sister turned 13, so I wasn't close to her until she was in her mid 20s.

    I think if you have a girl, she won't be close to your DD1 until they're adults.

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    I am the only girl with a brother 2 years older and a brother 2 years younger.

    When we were little I was really close with my older brother but by mid primary we hated each other immensely. My younger brother and I were fairly indifferent to each other as were both my brothers to each other.

    I think it all really boils down to personality. Some go better together than others. That's probably what determines what the sibling relationship will be like and not the age difference.

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    I have three. DD 5 y DS 3y and DS 5months. I thought a lot about this when surprise bub 3 was discovered and I think its better to have the youngest the same sex as the second child. With 5 years between DD and DS2 if hed ben a girl the age gab would have meant they were never really going to be at the same stage for playing etc. But the two DS are close enough to play once the baby is older. DD will b 10 when DS 5, 15 when he's 10. That's a big age gap to a child. DS1 one on the other jane will be 6 when he's 3 which is a bit more compatible. I did read though that the middle child issue can be more of a problem if the 2nd and 3rd children are the same sex.

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    I'm hoping this bub is another boy as I've read middle child syndrome is almost irrelevant if they are a different gender as they are still 'special' ie mine will the oldest, the girl and the baby

    Prob didnt describe that well

    Big boy '08
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    I agree with Vicki. I'm 3 years older than my brother and 9 years older than my sister, so she and I weren't close growing up while my brother and I were. But now he and I aren't close at all (no animosity, just very different) and she's my best friend.


 

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