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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mopoke View Post
    Maybe tell her that the hospital only allows one support person? That way she isn't offended that you don't want her there if she will take over
    That's a good idea! What about inviting her to your next scan so she can see bubba in your belly? That would be special too..
    I wouldn't just say yes then not tell her when ur in labour I think that would hurt more as she would prob be excited that she was going to be there

  2. #12
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    My mum asked me , long before I was pregnant, if I would have her in the room and I just politely said no. I explained its a very special time for DH and I and we want it to just be the two of us. I think she was a bit taken aback but at the end of the day, this is about DH and I and this incredible journey we are taking together in becoming parents for the first time. I know I wouldn't forgive myself if I let someone else be there and it ended up ruining that moment for us.
    She doesn't push the issue when she does find out I'm pregnant!

  3. #13
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    Mum asked to come in with me, I frantically said no lol. My DH was wonderful though, he kept texting her through the night (I got to relax and concentrate, mum still felt included ).



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  4. #14
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    My mum was with me when I gave birth to my first child, I could only have one person as it was a csection and I didn't want the father there as we were no longer together. I liked having her there but much preferred just me and my DH the second time around. Mum was the first one to come in afterwards. Perhaps you can let her down nicely but tell her she will be the first person you call and the first visitor, when you are ready for visitors, so then she gets extra cuddles.

  5. #15
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    I am nearing my DD with first bub and have decided that we wont have anyone else in the labour room. If you are not 100% comfortable with her being in the room then I would say no.

    My MIL has been in with 5/7 grandchildrens labours (including one of her DILs labours). Although I feel close to her I have decided that I dont wish to have her in as I would be constantly thinking about what she could see/hear and would keep checking my behaviours (very private person).

    We have told family that we have decided that we wish for our labour to be a private time between us as a couple. We havent apologised just made a clear statement that meant there was no further discussion on the topic. I believe that its our turn to be parents, and our mums turn to be grandparents so this is not a decision they can comment on or be part of (not in a nasty way).

    Maybe you can ask her to be the first person to meet bub when you are ready for visitors?

  6. #16
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    I agree that you should follow your heart instead of doing what others want. This is going to be a special day for you and DH and your new bundle of joy.

    As others have said, maybe you can let her be the first visitor when you are ready? Just get her to come up on her own and it will prevent her from hogging the show when other visitors are around. It makes her feel special, but also prevents scene-stealing.

    Another possibility - can you give her a special job such as being the one to let other family members know that your baby has been born? It might make her feel extra special without encroaching on your private moment. Just a thought...

  7. #17
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    You've given me lots to think about ladies, thankyou! Don't get me wrong, I love my mum to bits and we're very close, but this is one time in my life that I want to be woman, wife and mother, not "her baby".

    Some very good advice here, much appreciated. Good to know I'm not the only one who might be struggling to deal with an overly enthusiastic grandmother to be!

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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jl81 View Post

    Another possibility - can you give her a special job such as being the one to let other family members know that your baby has been born? It might make her feel extra special without encroaching on your private moment. Just a thought...
    I think this is a really good idea.

  9. #19
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    Honestly, I'd just be honest & tell her that its a special family time & you are only wanting DH there throughout the birth. I'd let her know that she could be the first family to meet your child but this is something you only want DH & the necessary medical staff in the room for. If she can't accept that, just don't tell her when you go into labour & just say it happened too quickly to call anyone. Good luck, I hope you only have who you truly want in the room with you.

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonja View Post
    I didn't want my mother in the delivery suite when I had DD1 but she just arrived while I was in labour. I was furious. I had said to her previously I just wanted DH and felt she should have respected that.

    The midwives handled it really well and quietly asked her to wait in the lounge as there was nothing happening and I needed to rest (which was true).

    I would personally find it really awkward having my mother present at such a personal time. I am close to her but it's my and dh's time, not hers, and she has come to respect that.
    My mil wanted to be in the room at the birth. We said no. I am not close with her at all. She showed up at the hospital when I was in transition with both bil, sil & fil demanding to see DP! She then got cut up because he refused to leave me to go and see her, so she left and didn't come and visit after I had ds for about a whole week! It still ticks me off when I think about it. Evil woman.

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