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  1. #1
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    Default Custody Battle will send us broke

    Hi fellow bub hubbers,

    DP and I sought legal advice last week while waiting for the mediation conference in regards to getting custody of his 9yo daughter who had been asking to come live with us. We spoke to her mum about it and she stopped all contact for the past month. Last week the solicitor told us that we don't have a winnable case as the court will say nothing has happened to warrant taking miss M away from her current living arrangements. We found out on Sunday night that dp's ex's house burnt down and she still hasn't contacted him to let us know. Luckily the police were able to find out that info for us. We contacted the solicitor yesterday and she said we now have grounds to file for emergency custody to the courts. We picked up the papers today and the solicitor wants a $10k deposit and it's going to cost us $44k in total. We are now kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place as miss M is worth fighting for but we just ant afford that kind of money as we are literally just about to start building our house and neither of us can get legal aid.
    HELP

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  2. #2
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    Can you put off building the house and put that money into the court case?

  3. #3
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    Why sole custody? Is there any reason why 50/50 custody isnt suitable? Is she in an unsafe environment, unfit mother? I have a dsd the same age and find that maintaining (where ever possible) a good relationship with her mother to be in the best interest of dsd. Filing for full custody while the mother is dealing with the loss of her home seems a bit "heartless" to me and could cause unnessasary conflict between you all. If you can keep the battles out of court and in the best interests of the children then I think that is prob the best approach. Maybe increased visitation and involvement in day to day life??

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  5. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    Why sole custody? Is there any reason why 50/50 custody isnt suitable? Is she in an unsafe environment, unfit mother? I have a dsd the same age and find that maintaining (where ever possible) a good relationship with her mother to be in the best interest of dsd. Filing for full custody while the mother is dealing with the loss of her home seems a bit "heartless" to me and could cause unnessasary conflict between you all. If you can keep the battles out of court and in the best interests of the children then I think that is prob the best approach. Maybe increased visitation and involvement in day to day life??
    I agree with this. Is there any way you can mediate for 50-50 as an end point but slowly building up to that point.

    Family law is expensive, my bill was well over $80k. Depending on how messy it gets.

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  7. #5
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    Given the mothers current circumstances (no house) she may welcome her daughter coming to live with her father while she gets back on her feet? You won't know unless you ask. There is always 3 sides to these stories, but with the limited info you've given sounds a bit heavy to go straight for full custody.

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    I'm not sure you should invest that sort of money in going for full custody. Seems a little unachievable. Sole custody is rare unless the parent is found to be abusive or neglectful.

    Why not try for 50/50. Your dsd may actually prefer that. She may not really understand what it will be like to be away from her mother 24/7

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    I agree with the above, and having been in the situation of break ups. The court will not grant sole custody to any one parent unless there is evidence the child has been abused, as it is in the childs best interest to see both parents equally if at all possible

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    If your lawyer has advised that you can't win then it is just money down the drain. Why bother? I'd say give up now and try and get the ex to mediation and negotiate an arrangement that everyone can live with.

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  13. #9
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    I imagine she has somewhere to stay & is not living on the streets.. so I'm not sure how strong a case that would be anyway. Is there an issue with her staying with her mum, are there concerns for her welfare ? I can't imagine losing my house and then having someone take advantage of a sh*tty situation & take my child. Is it really in the child's interest to move away from her mum?

    There is also no guarantee you would win & may be paying for nothing. Your solicitor wins regardless of the outcome of the case.

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  15. #10
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    Depending on the circumstances your sd lives in would determine what I would do. Is she being abused, living in an unsafe environment? I would do anything possible if my child was unsafe, postpone the house, get a loan etc but id try mediation first etc. We recently went through lawyers to get parenting orders wrotten up, mediation etc and while it was expensive no where near $44k


 

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