I'll stay here too but I do like the option of Facebook when BH is uncooperative.
I'll stay here too but I do like the option of Facebook when BH is uncooperative.
So sorry that I have taken my time to come on and tell my story - been a little preoccupied with my gorgeous little bundle!!
So as you may remember last Tuesday, I was asking about the pains....
At around 11am last Tuesday I started to feel some pain in my pelvic area and lower back pain. I had been cleaning the house that morning and so thought that had caused the back and the pelvis just being that 'bub' had moved down lower.
As the day went along, it was getting uncomfortable, so I went and layed in bed. The only time the pains would then be painful, was when I moved. So if I layed still, I was fine. But I also had the heat pack to help with the pain.
DH came home around 7pm and I suggested that he might want to put some of his clothes in the hospital bag and that I will put into the car the next day, that way it was ready to go if we needed to. The pain in the pelvis would come and go, but was never excruiting and we tried to time to see if there was any patter, but the only thing we could determine was that it hurt when I moved!
Got up, joked about having pasta for endurance for dinner and then stayed up to see if I could determine any pattern again.
Found that from 11pm to 12am, nothing really happened, so went to bed with a heat pack again.
At about 1am, I leapt out of bed and just had this feeling of not knowing what to do and just jumped in the shower and put hot water on my back and apparently was moaning again. DH got up and suggested that we call the hospital to see if we could go up as I had determined that bub had moved and was sitting on something causing me pain!!
Called the hospital and they wanted to know about my contractions.....I don't know why...but I am so glad I did..I lied and said 'every 10 minutes', although, I hadn't felt contractions! My tummy felt fine and never felt a thing!!!!
So they told me to come in (and for a split second I almost said no, as I didn't want to burden them if it was nothing!).
We got the bag, started walking to the car and next minute, I collapsed in pain. Again, apparently I yelped in pain - all I remember is saying my DH's name in a panic. He got me into the back of the car and next thing, I started vomiting!!
I couldn't get comfortable in the car and by this stage, the pain in my back, pelvis and legs was just constant. It was a very long drive to the hospital - I am tearing up now thinking of my panic and how scared I was!
Got to the hospital and the midwife wanted to inspect where I was up to as I was begging for an epidural!
Midwife said to me 'sorry honey, you are in transition and we need you to start pushing, you are fully dilated! We can't give you an epidural for this' The thing that annoyed me is that she didn't even offer gas.
The next part saddens me and DH tells me not to be sad, I guess I feel I 'gave up'
After the midwife broke my waters, she kept telling me to push - I still couldn't feel contractions. Now there is absolutely no other way to explain this and I feel that no-one understands me, but I wanted to push and in my mind, I was trying to push, but my body and my brain just could not work together. So everytime I was to push, I would scream and wasn't pushing. I then told everyone that I was done and wouldn't do this any longer.
By this time, I was given pethadine and was on the gas, which she then took me off because I wasn't pushing. I kept trying to explain that I wanted too, but my body just wouldn't do it. My poor DH was getting so frustrated with me and they tried to put me onto all fours and push, but again, my legs just kept collapsing. The midwife kept telling me to stop doing that as I could be hurting the baby. Again I am yelling at her saying that my body is just doing it - I CAN"T F*%#ING DO THIS ANY MORE - I CAN"T !!!! and I am punching the bed (I am a little embarrassed about that!!)
The oncall OB comes in and while apparently he is nice, I really don't like his 'sense of humour'. He shares the same office as my OB, so I have seen him before and I just think he can be a bit patronising sometimes.
Anyways, he comes in and has a look and tells me to push and I tell him that I can't - I tried, but just not happening. So he says to me 'Ok, well then I will go home, shall I?" The midwife then says that maybe we should prep for a c-section and DH starts to say no and I am like 'ok!' Thankfully at this point, the OB asks DH how the baby has been sitting this whole pregnancy and he tells him that bub has been sitting perfect and at last appointment last Thursday, OB stated that should be a very seamless birth due to bub sitting perfectly. This OB states, well the baby is now sitting the other way, so spine to spine and the head is sitting at an awkward position. He then orders to have an epidural, give me an hour and then try again. I almost cry - while he was a douche... I feel like he believes me!!!
The epidural worked immediately (I am so in love with the guy who administered it - it didn't hurt a bit!!). An hour later my OB turns up (thank god!!!) and is surprised at how bub has turned and asks me to push. He can then see that as much as I am pushing, bub comes down, and then goes back again. So he tells me that he is going to give me a very little cut and help me and bub out by getting the suction caps. By this stage, I am so much calmer and finally, I feel I know when the contractions are starting and am able to finally push!!
My DH (who said he would never watch and would never cut the cord) is now watching and his eyes become so wide and he gets so excited and looks at me and starts going 'come on baby - keep pushing, I can see the head!'
(Oh and by this stage, I have another midwife and she is such an amazing lady) She too is getting excited and telling me to push and helping me along and telling me how wonderful I am doing!! Next thing, I can see another midwife getting the little bed ready and then I can feel my baby being born and then she is on my chest.
The most amazing purple, slimy, icky perfect bundle of joy. My DH is trying not to cry, but he is just gulping at the tears - I ask him, what do we have????? a girl!!!!! He then cuts the cord
My placenta then comes out immediately and I didn't need that injection.
I feel a little sad for a few things: I didn't cry.....I looked at her and I felt love, but I also couldn't make a connection. She looked.....weird! There, I said it. I feel horrible, but at first I thought she had downs syndrome (ok there I said it again and I feel horrible - but her eyes were just...odd).
My DH was so emotional (not normally an emotional man) and I just don't feel that I joined him on that emotional ride
I am also annoyed at that first midwife. She was so flighty and when the first OB and the anethiast were doing things, they had to re-tell her things a few times. She never once offered any type of pain relief for me and I felt like she was getting annoyed with me for not pushing and using a c-section as 'threat' Maybe not, but that is how I feel. I feel that by being this way, it was then affecting my DH and at one point when I was screaming that I couldn't do this, he threw his hands up in frustration and did say he wanted to shake me.
I didn't have the nice calm birth I envisioned...but my baby did come out healthy and happy and that was my main aim.......I wish I focused on that at the time!
What I loved? epidural!!!!!!!!! I am now a junkie and my next pregnancy...I will be getting immediately! I have no qualms in admitting that
My OB and the 2 older midwives that came in after - I wish they were there from the beginning - I wonder if it would have been any different??
Within a few minutes of staring at my daughter, I then felt the most amazing feeling of love and today, I can't stop kissing her and cuddling her and staring at her.....she is perfection.
I have had next to no sleep since last week and yet I don't feel tired at all!!!
She didn't feed well at all at first. Now she does, but seems to feed every hour! I hope that changes soon!!
Today we had our first outing and it was perfect. She is such a happy baby and we are loving spoiling her with so much pink!!!
So there is my story - sorry for the long, detailed post. Definitely not how I expected my birth story to be....DH just asked me what I was typing and I explained my birth story - I then started to cry and he told me I should not be ashamed of anything. I said I may have some issues, so I think we will have a chat later tonight - there will be tears! LOL
Miss Faery - I am so excited for you and hope it all goes well!!!
Little Ted (02-09-2013)
Beautiful story missx thanks for the honesty. It's just lovely to hear how it all happened
Yes what a lovely, raw birth story MissX. Amazing. Thank you xx
Wow. That was long but I loved reading every bit of it. Thanks for sharing MissX!
And you have no reason to be ashamed about anything!!!
Angel Baby ~Skye~ 21/11/2012
I'd love to join too Toni ill PM you now.
MissX thank you so much for taking the time to write your story and for being so honest, it does help knowing all this especially for me being a first timer as well... I find a lot of people sugar cost their births and aren't honest. I loved reading your story and you in now way should feel ashamed, you are an amazing mummy and wife and you prevailed when I'm sure others would have just asked for a c-section! You should feel proud of what you achieved and Chelsea is very lucky to have you xx
MissX thanks so much for sharing your very real birth story, this is so much more common than you know, please don't be ashamed or embarrassed by any of it - it's very normal! And you have a gorgeous healthy little girl! Yay!
Such a quiet weekend and such a busy Monday!
Squiggs you look amazing what a beautiful bump
Sending you lots of labor vibes Miss F. I hope your feeling ok?
Toni, Im glad your market went well yesterday. Are you feeling any better today?
I would love to join the FB group. Ill definitely stay on both though.
MCB, that really sucks about your contract finishing early. are you going to look for more work for the next 10 or so weeks?
I vaguely remember you talking about setting up a FB page to sell your crafty items. Have you done that? If so I would love the link?
Waiting, I hope you feeling better today. That dizzy and naucious feeling is the worst. I hope it eases for you, but on the up side, not too long to go!!!
that sucks about your centerlink payments. Sometimes its just not fair! I wish I had some advice or ideas for you, but I have no Idea about any of that stuff.
Mommyindec, I cant believe you are still able to keep it a secret! I'm 22+5 and the size of a house!! I would be shattered to hide all my baby stuff, I love to show it off a little. Hopefully you can set it all up again really soon.
Your very brave having your in laws stay. That would drive me nuts!
Rainbow that is great that all your results were good. It must be a great relief? Did you hear from the hospital today?
Question, did you have to fast for your GCT? My middy said you have to fast but when I rang the pathology to book in they said its not necessary (I'm wondering if my midwife got muddled with the GTT?)
MissX, what a great birth story. you should stand strong and be very proud for all you have achieved. I don't see any reason for embarrassment, and think you did an amazing job. Congratulations and thanks for sharing .
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