I think it comes down to personal situation and what you and your partner are happy doing. I've got 9 month old twins and a 3 year old and currently am a SAHM. I do all the cooking, washing, food shopping, paying bills, tidying up. We have a cleaner once a fortnight. Dh does the dishes at night (stacking/unloading dishwasher and washing the other stuff), feeds the animals, does the rubbish and outdoor jobs. Also he takes over with the babies when he comes home so I can get time to put clean clothes away and finish prepping dinner/get kids dinners. He bathes all 3, dresses them and gives the babies their bottles and reads the 3 year old his stories while I tidy up the kitchen. It's a real team effort. My only issue is he leaves a mess whatever he goes! Sometimes I make a point about it, sometimes I just clean up after him...
I forgot to say he works out of the home 40-50 hours a week. I wouldn't be able to get everything done without his help. Oh and at night we take turns being on baby duty. Yes he has to go to work tired when it's his turn and it's a bad night but I have to deal with the cranky kids all day and keep my cool - so we agree fairs fair.
When one, or both, parents are out of the house earning money to pay the bills for the house and the family, how can their contribution not be taken into consideration when it comes to the dividing up the rest of the household duties?
It's not like they're out at the pub all day hanging with their mates, they're contributing to the household too - it's just they can't clean or do laundry from their workplace!
He is expected to contribute just as much, practically, around the house as me. I have taken years out of my paid working life to raise OUR children, this does not mean I am going to pick up more than my fair share of household duties. I'm a Mum, not a maid.
In saying that, this thread has inspired me, DF and I are going to have another chat tomorrow about the division of labour in this house
I work 3 days a week and dh works 5 days. Most nights he is home after the kids are in bed so I do most of the housework and child rearing. Dh does the cooking, vacuuming, some cleaning, yard work on weekends. He also does all his own ironing, i never iron anything! He is also responsible for managing the finances, paying bills etc. His job at work is much more stressful than mine and having the bulk of the financial responsibility can be emotionally draining so I don't begrudge him his relax and unwind time. For me I find physical stress from doing housework more manageable than emotional stress. Mind you I do get annoyed sometimes when dh is watching tv or on the computer rather than engaging with the kids. Overall though I think we have a good balance and dh will help out more when I ask. When ds was a newborn dh before going to work used to wake up at 5am to cook dinner for the day or would cook the night before so it was one less thing for me to do as I was struggling with 2 kids. He is great
Last edited by Jontu; 27-08-2013 at 22:32.
For the record I have worked a lot less hours than my DH for many years now but for at least the last 2 years have earnt more. He mows the lawns and sometimes takes the bins out - that's it. I hate the unfair division of labour but he is pursuing a lifelong dream and it will not be forever. In fact next year we should be having a role reversal with him being the SAHP - so I'll get my own back then. Mwahahaha (evil laugh...)
Well if my husband and I shared chores 50/50, then nothing would get done.
He gets up at 4:30am and has not been getting home until 7:30/8pm after a long and very physical day. He has even been working some Saturdays. Now rather than my husband doing 50% of the chores on a Sunday, I'd rather spend it together, or send him out with the kids so he can spend some time with them after not seeing them all week and I can do some chores in peace.
Everyday, I get to go to the gym, hang at the park with my friends while the kids play, come home and have lunch and put baby down for a nap, get as much housework done as possible before heading out again in the afternoon with the kids and catch up with more friends. Come home and cook dinner.
Whilst I do think my husband could do more chores sometimes, I don't think it is fair to say he should be doing 50% when I am home. Especially when the kids are in daycare 2 days.
Last edited by BigRedV; 28-08-2013 at 04:47.
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