+ Reply to Thread
Page 3 of 10 FirstFirst 12345 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 93
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    130
    Thanks
    24
    Thanked
    52
    Reviews
    0
    I do the school run, daycare run, grocery shopping and cooking. I also do mine and the kids washing, fold and put away. DH packs and empties dishwasher and does his own washing and irons his own shirts. Cleaner does the rest: mop, vacuum, toilets, bathrooms, clean out fridge, windows..etc. When I was a single mother with one child I did everything and coped fairly well. As soon as DH moved in and baby #2 came along, we got a cleaner as he cant expect me to be his maid.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    93
    Thanks
    29
    Thanked
    22
    Reviews
    0
    I am a sahm and would go crazy if I didn't get out of the house at least twice a week!! Even if its just to the park or beach to get a coffee. I am lucky my mum lives around the corner, so she gets nanny time at park and I get to sit and have a nice coffee.

    with housework I do everything!!! My DH travels 2 wks a month and works from home. Honestly sometimes drives me crazy! I have DS 2 and DD 7 months I do everything for them as we'll DH does all the fun and exciting things I do all boring everyday things lol

    But he does all outside work and car stuff and helps clean up after dinner maybe twice week same with bath time? Cooking he cooked once.... Will never let him do it again!!! HORRIBLE thinks he is Jamie OLiver just because you like different foods doesn't mean they all go together lol

    i am usually pretty happy with how things are rules are if he has been away or hasn't helped he has to take us out for a nice lunch and fun on wknd good for everyone

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by B00ts View Post
    I WISH as a SAHM all we had to do was things with and for the children. That includes cooking for them, cleaning up after them, taking them to activities, basically anything that has to do with the kids. I WISH household duties could be shared 50/50 with the 'bread winner', but there is a certain stigma that comes with a SAHM unfortunately, we basically do everthing because....we dont have a job that provides an income. The person who works shouldnt have to come home to clean up when SAHM is.... well....."at home all day to do it".
    I don't even think it's so much limited to SAHMs, or mums in general. Even the working women I know, who work HARD, end up with the lion's share of house and child duties

  4. #24
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    409
    Thanks
    1,060
    Thanked
    422
    Reviews
    0
    Our house is all hands on deck.

    I work partime, hubby works around 60 hours a week - hard physical job and he still helps with housework, cooking and kids.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
    1,304
    Thanks
    2,279
    Thanked
    490
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    DH does lawn care, car care, and fixes things that break in the house (or need to be upgraded ).
    I do the rest, it works for us and I think it's fair since DH works outside the home and I want him to be able to have decent down time (I take my down time during the day when I get a minute).
    We're soon to have two under two, but I don't think things will change that much (I'm having a c section though and I'm sure he will help look after DD and the house while I recover).


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Posts
    4,247
    Thanks
    160
    Thanked
    311
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    always been a bit of a contentious issue in our house....i work 3 days a week, DH is working a lot at moment some weeks its 6 days, last week even was at work on the sunday too so its falling all on my shoulders....i certinaly feel i should do more seeing as im at home BUT i do feel that at times Dh just walks in a flops on the lounge when he gets home....now i NEVER do that and can do that..there is always stuff to be done....to his credit he does help with the bathing and puttintg kids to bed, we take one kid each but my main bone of contention is a) not picking up after himself eg dirty laundry cos ffs im not his slave b) not taking the rubbish bins out from the kitchen daily (often there is 2 or three days of rubbish and i get stubborn and refuse to do it cos its designated as HIS job and then he gets dirty cos i wont do it for him c) if he just flops on the lounge after the kids have gone to bed and he has finished putting one kid to bed first while im still in there putting the other the bed and the kitchen still needs cleaning after tea..that irks me. he will do what i ask but we have this pathetic ongoing issues about it....all i ask is that the above be done....not too hard! i know he beleives deep down that cos im at home 2 days a week more then him etc that i should have a tidier house...but his version of tidying up is just putting the kids toys in the baskets and wiping the kitchen benches down....he does not SEE there are a hundred other jobs that need doing...

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    in a wormhole
    Posts
    2,769
    Thanks
    4,600
    Thanked
    2,802
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    DH used to be great at helping, but somehow things magically changed to me doing everything. I do all the cooking, shopping, washing, tidying, cleaning, bath times, garden work, homework, pet care, resettling kids, managing appts. And I'm studying a demanding degree. DH gets home, gets on the computer and that's it. He says he's tired and needs 'downtime'. Hang on, sorry, he does read DD her bedtime story, and he makes me a morning coffee. That's it.

    I'm not happy with the current arrangement and in the past when I've raised it he's been good at pitching in, but he's feeling hard done by in life atm and not budging.

    I'm happy to do most of the jobs, but would like more help with the kids during the evening.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,730
    Thanks
    1,522
    Thanked
    1,960
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    As others have said, what's "fair" depends so much on your situation.

    For us, my partner runs his own business from home. He probably works at least 65 hours a week. Things that are typically "his" responsibilities on top of that are looking after the car, motorbike, bathing our daughter in the evenings, 1 overnight feed and doing the dishes.
    Typically "my" responsibilities are most things related to our daughter, shopping, cooking, washing, general cleaning/tidying, bins. Yard stuff is generally shared. He's also happy to do anything I ask him to do.

    I think he does way more than his share... I get far more time to relax than he does. That though is largely because he never sees any time as "spare" time... if it doesn't have a set purpose, then he spends it working. It bothers me a bit because I'd love to see him do things he wants to do that aren't necessary, but that's just him... I'm slowly getting used to it. Me doing more around the house wouldn't do anything to reduce his stress, and he'd probably feel guilty about it. So I let him.

    If the division of work around your house is a source of contention, then it probably needs tweaking. Good luck!

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    Hobart, Tasmania
    Posts
    5,946
    Thanks
    1,973
    Thanked
    2,080
    Reviews
    16
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    To play Devil's advocate, I do not believe for one second that "fair" depends on individual family circumstances. I believe that to be a cop out that is just reinforcing outdated social constructions that housework/childcare is predominately women's work.

    It shouldn't matter what your family arrangement is, those household duties and childcare responsibilities, should fall equally on both adults. There's absolutely no reason why they can't, except for those outdated excused "well, I'm home more" or "he needs to relax when he comes home" and "he works so hard". Well you know what? SO DO YOU!

    Mothers, of all descriptions, work damn hard, and did you know, that even in families where BOTH parents are working equal hours outside of the home, it is still the woman who does the vast majority of household duties and childcare.

    The only way things are ever going to change, is to lead by example. Pass on to your own children that household and childcare duties should be equal within the home, regardless of what happens outside of the home, and you are instilling those values in to them, that they may too role model on to their own children and so on and so forth. Eventually (but yes, very very slowly) changing the way society thinks, and then perhaps one day, the social construction that household and childcare duties are that of a woman, will be over.

  10. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Lillynix For This Useful Post:

    BornToBe  (28-08-2013),ExcuseMyFrench  (27-08-2013)

  11. #30
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    282
    Thanks
    51
    Thanked
    65
    Reviews
    0
    For us, it seems fair to me that I'm home so I do the housework. I see it as my 'job' instead of doing paid work. DH will do dishes sometimes and pack/unpack dishwasher as needed. He'll do a load of washing occasionally too. It was the same when I was working full time too (before DD was born). I'm happy with this, but I know a lot of people wouldn't be. It's about whatever works for you and your family.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Not Fair!!
    By LivinOnAPrayer in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 28-12-2012, 07:17
  2. Baby sitting duties
    By DesperatelySeekingSleep in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 04-11-2012, 15:51

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Medela Australia
Our goal is to give mothers and babies the best possible support for a great and long lasting breastfeeding experience. Medela have a full range of breastpumps and breastcare products, suited to every need and lifestyle.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!