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  1. #1
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    Default i am angry with myself...

    in the way i handeld a situation this evening.
    It was bath time. DD (2.5yrs) was in one of her 'moods' ignoring DH and i, doing as she wants, doing everything but what we ask of her.
    She LOVES to look at photos and videos of herself on my phone.
    I said she could have 3 minutes playing on my phone THEN she needs to go have a bath. ( i know she doesnt have a sense of time yet, but i just wanted to let her know it wont be for long, then she must do as she's told or no phone ever again, sort of thing).
    I kept warning her when i was going to take it from her/put it down.
    Meanwhile, i was feeding my 8mth old, she was sitting next to me on the phone.
    The final warning i said , "ok times up, put the phone down or give it to me, it's time for your bath". DH was standing there watching/waiting for DD (he does her bath).
    I gave her a moment to process.
    I said "Ta please, hand me the phone and go with dad for your bath now please..." She wouldnt give it up and ignored me.
    So i just took it from her and said "phone goes off now".....
    She went nuts.
    I guess she went to hit and slap me...but because i was nursing my 8mth old, he was in the way and he got slappd and hit 3 times in the face.
    Im the heat of the moment, i was gobsmacked at:
    a) where did she learn to slap/hit?
    b) she's hurt my baby..he's really, really crying and i hope he doesnt think i hurt him.
    I was shocked....

    So....i smacked her back....on the face.....not hard at all, she didnt even notice because she was in such a horrible state already.... but that's besides the point.
    What angers me is that DH stood there watching tv the whole time. When he heard DS cry he realised what was happenening and whitnessed me smack DD on the face. He said nothing and took her away. He didnt help me out with the phone situation at all.
    I yelled at DD and said "we dont ever slap in this house....."....but i just did?
    I have never ever wanted to be a mum who contradicts herself and confuses her kids with whats right and wrong behaviour. But here i am doing just that.
    ...i am aware of all the other ways i could have handeled this situation, so please, no judgement. I just needed to get it off my chest and realise what just unfolded. I was just so angry that my poor 8mth old who was happily feeding....got hurt by her stupid tantrum and that i didnt help the situation at all or teach her anything about her behariour and consequences. i acted like a kid, not an adult. dammit.

  2. #2
    MrsHoward's Avatar
    MrsHoward is offline If all I have is you, then I have everything
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    Dont feel bad...it was the heat of them moment and I would have probably reacted the same way had I been in that situation.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
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    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    Be gentle with yourself. I think if we were all to be honest we would all say we have reacted in ways we aren't proud of in those *push your buttons* moments.
    You are right, your DH should have helped you, but (devils advocate time) maybe he didn't want to undermine you?

    It is ok.

  4. #4
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    Don't be too hard on yourself , i'm sure many many of us have done similar things. I guess she may be starting the ''terrible two's''.. I have one who since 2 just changed almost overnight. he's no longer the innocent sweetpea that existed. lol. The other one who is 4.5 is still having tantrum's every now and then.

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    Have you apologised to her?

    I apologise to my kids if I feel I reacted badly to a situation. Explain that you did the wrong thing. But also explain her behaviour was bad. And explain how you both should have acted.

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    B00ts  (26-08-2013),BornToBe  (27-08-2013),btmacxxx  (27-08-2013),ICanDream  (26-08-2013)

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    Don't feel bad. You were protecting DS and that instinct would be a very hard one to suppress. My DH is a little like yours when the tv is on, just doesn't realise that when you say it's time for you to go with daddy and do xyz that he could step up and take over at that point. It doesn't help what happened tonight but is it worth saying to him that once you have said she is to go with him that he needs to step and and provide all the instruction from that point on?

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  9. #7
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    Don't be hard on yourself, it was a one time mistake. Your DD probably won't even remember it tomorrow? I have DS 2 and 2 month and DD 7 months this week they definitely test you lol

    remember tomorrow is a new day no point beating yourself up over it, your DD will wake up happy and totally in love with u and her little brother as always x

    As for men, how do they tune out so easily?? It's scary!!!

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    We have all done things as parents that we have wished we hadn't.

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    I have certainly been in this situation before & I too have have had a burst of anger that's been taken out on my dd & resulted in a slap / smack in my case I pushed her & she fell back. Not my proudest mummy moment but I was about 7 months preg with ds & she was trying to snatch something off me in complete crazy tantrum toddler mode to the point she was hitting & punching my belly I just reacted self protection mode & pushed her back, she wasn't hurt or even shocked she just carried on in a fit of rage.

    Don't beat yourself about it. It's a horrible feeling but it's happened now, she doesn't even know you did it. You were preoccupied nursing & yes dh should have stepped in & backed you up I guess as you were tending to your other child's needs at the same time.

    Give yourself a break & her a big kiss & explain to her what she did was wrong & reinforce the no hitting rules calmly as you would normally do.

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    You acted on pure emotion, that's ok. We all do it. I've had many 'this isn't how I want to parent' moments. All we can do is learn from it.

    Hugs.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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