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  1. #71
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    90% of the posts I'd take issue with then if it's about people going about their daily lives and being told that they aren't wise enough to make their own decisions. I'm with the PP who said she refuses to live her life like a victim. If I want to walk at night that's my business, and certainly not up to my so-called friends to critique my decisions on open forums. I do think that the OP may be jealous of her friend's confidence. Her friend has more chance of being assaulted by dating someone she knows than walking in a busy park. By a long shot.

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  3. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    90% of the posts I'd take issue with then if it's about people going about their daily lives and being told that they aren't wise enough to make their own decisions. I'm with the PP who said she refuses to live her life like a victim. If I want to walk at night that's my business, and certainly not up to my so-called friends to critique my decisions on open forums. I do think that the OP may be jealous of her friend's confidence. Her friend has more chance of being assaulted by dating someone she knows than walking in a busy park. By a long shot.
    Obviously we are reading two different posts

    Im not sure where you get that she is jealous?

    And the OP would know the friend she is talking about - we dont. We have no idea of her history with her.

  4. #73
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    She hasn't given any indication of her history with her friend, just that her friend is almost FIFTY (so more than old enough to be capable of making her own decisions) and her friend likes to walk through a busy park, which is the "most stupidest of decisions". Her defensiveness and 'hoping' that her friend doesn't meet strangers I believe there may be a hint of jealousy of her confidence. I can't imagine being concerned in the slightest with what my friends do if it's what fulfills them - it has nothing to do with me or my life.

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  6. #74
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    I think there is a huge difference in looking out for a friend by telling them they shouldn't walk in a park which is just stupid, as opposed to showing concern if they were in a domestic violence or abusive relationship, or drinking too much or involved with drugs or any number of things to be genuinely concerned about, all more likely to happen I would think than getting raped, in a crowded park, in broad daylight. (Not saying it doesn't happen, just be happy your friend is not dealing with real issues for you to be concerned about).

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  8. #75
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    I guess thats the joy of us all being different.

    If my friend was doing something and I was concerned for her safety I would talk to her about it. And I would not be offended if a friend did the same to me.

    But thats just me I guess. Anyway not meaning to argue with you, I just have a completely different take on it.

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  10. #76
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    OP your right in warning your friend but that is all you can do, if she continues to walk there be it on her own head if she gets assaulted again. Having had it happen once then surely as a grown adult she recognises that this is not a safe route to take? Maybe buy her a bottle of pepper spray or something.

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  12. #77
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    She wasn't assaulted. She was in a busy park. During the day most likely. A man said some weird things and followed her. If I couldn't go places where people did strange things or I felt unsafe for a brief period of time I'd never leave the house!

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    I don't get the impression that the op is jealous. The way I understand it is that the friend is in a park which known to the police as a danger zone and yet the friend continues to frequent that park with the intention of finding a relationship there and being too gullible because she believed everything the guy who harassed her told her. The op is concerned about this and is using the forum I guess to see how other people view this situation. Most people here believe the op should mind her own business others think it was good of the op to show concern for her friend. I really don't get why it is wrong for the op to post this on a forum, isn't this what bubhub is for? To share stories, have a chat to others and to get advice and different perspectives.
    On another note, all those studies about being more likely to be attacked by a known person, I find that a bit weird. Aren't you interacting with such known persons on a one to one basis more eg going to friends house, going out etc so if you are in contact with such person wouldn't it be more likely statistic wise to be attacked by known person? Sorry if that doesn't make sense, finding it difficult to articulate.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jontu View Post
    On another note, all those studies about being more likely to be attacked by a known person, I find that a bit weird. Aren't you interacting with such known persons on a one to one basis more eg going to friends house, going out etc so if you are in contact with such person wouldn't it be more likely statistic wise to be attacked by known person? Sorry if that doesn't make sense, finding it difficult to articulate.
    Date rape being more common than the perception that rapists are lurking in bushes, waiting for unsuspecting women to walk by. Children are also more likely to be assaulted by a known person. It's just the way it is sadly.

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    OP, i think your friend is lucky to have a friend like you to look out for her. I think i am putting the daughters comments down to immaturity.

    As for everything else - I am a generally cautious person. I was taught to trust my instincts and judge situations based on how they make me feel. If the police recommended to avoid an area i would. Alley ways - day or night, walking day or night depending on where i am at the time, i go with my gut, if i feel it may not be safe i take another option. I dont live in a cave, i have a life but I will not put myself in a situation when harm might come of it.
    These are the things i will also be teaching my daughter. To think, to use good judgement. I will be teaching her to respect herself and if (god forbid) something did happen to her, there is no way in hell i would make her or let her think for a second that she is at fault because of the situation she was in - regardless of what her judgement call was. I dont think that there would be a parent out there who would.

    I would hope that my friends care about me enough to point out if i was in a situation that i couldnt see was risky.
    I hope that my daughter will have friends like that too.

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