+ Reply to Thread
Page 7 of 11 FirstFirst ... 56789 ... LastLast
Results 61 to 70 of 102
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    One of the worst sexual assaults I have heard about in my State was in an extremely expensive, nice area during the day.

    I think the OP is out of line trying to tell her friend what she can and cannot do. She was walking through what sounds like a busy park. Why shouldn't she? What if her evening walks are paramount to her mental health? Loads of people go walking at night as part of their wind-down and debrief after work.

    To the OP mind your own business. I seriously hate being told what to do, and I would de-friend immediately if someone went online and told the world how stupid I am for enjoying my walks through the park.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (27-08-2013),SassyMummy  (27-08-2013)

  3. #62
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by happy wanderer View Post
    And the world is just a happy utopia where everyone does as they should. Oh please. Come on. This is not Pollyanna World.

    You speak of rights when the focus should be obligations you have to yourself to keep yourself safe (known as protective behaviours). Most kids learn these skills in a social context but some do not. As is evident in this thread. By all means, enjoy your surroundings but adopting survival tactics in the form of risk assessment and commonsense is not a violation of anyone's rights but responsible behaviour.

    This isn't a women's rights issue. Men get raped too, did you know that? And bashed and followed. And they adopt the same practices - by avoiding unlit areas, travelling in groups and letting people know where they are. And they don't apologise for that. So why should women? As a woman you would NEVER find me in an unlit park at night on my own unless I had just had a lobotomy. Do I feel my rights are being violated? No. I'm just refusing to be bloody stupid. It's all very well to cite where the fault lies in the attacker but I get tired when that same fault is not applied to the victim in circumstances when they put themselves in harm's way. And a fat lot of good it all does when you end up dead. You are never going to get a safe passage in life. Judgement calls and acting accordingly are one of life's necessities. To demand a situation where you don't have to think about that is naiive and very dangerous.

    OP is clearly concerned about what she sees as risky behaviour and I really don't blame her. I certainly don't feel the need to admonish her over it but to commend her for being so concerned. I would appreciate a friend like that.
    The OP does not say the park was unlit, in fact, she says many people were walking there at the time.
    Your implication that some fault should be laid with the victim is a classic example of rape culture.
    Walking in a park, night or day, does not mean it's is the fault of the person who is raped, male or female. It doesn't make them stupid, it doesn't mean they are engaging in a risky behaviour.
    There is nothing wrong with avoiding areas where you personally feel unsafe for whatever reason. I want to stress that. But there is A LOT wrong with criticising and blaming victims of rape, male or female. We've already ascertained that the vast majority of rape victims are attacked by people known to them. Does that make women "bloody stupid" for having a partner? Would you only have a male friend if you'd "just had a lobotomy"? Because these things, statistically, put you in harms way even more than a late night walk in the park.

  4. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Atropos For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (27-08-2013),ChickyBee  (27-08-2013)

  5. #63
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    8,806
    Thanks
    7,267
    Thanked
    9,720
    Reviews
    5
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    One of the worst sexual assaults I have heard about in my State was in an extremely expensive, nice area during the day.

    I think the OP is out of line trying to tell her friend what she can and cannot do. She was walking through what sounds like a busy park. Why shouldn't she? What if her evening walks are paramount to her mental health? Loads of people go walking at night as part of their wind-down and debrief after work.

    To the OP mind your own business. I seriously hate being told what to do, and I would de-friend immediately if someone went online and told the world how stupid I am for enjoying my walks through the park.
    I grew up in a decent suburb yet at age 11 was the victim of an attempted abduction in broad day light with others around. I got away and gave the police the car rego and described the man- he was a known sex offender. A high school friend was sexually assaulted on a train in broad daylight. Others I know were "flashed" on trains at peak times too.

  6. #64
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,220
    Thanks
    1,254
    Thanked
    1,085
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    If your friend likes to meet strangers at the park, well that's her choice. But I suggest she should probably get a dog for safety...and they are a good talking point I meet lots of strangers at the dog park who are now my friends. If you are really concerned, go with her.

  7. #65
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    1,884
    Thanks
    76
    Thanked
    634
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I grew up in a decent suburb yet at age 11 was the victim of an attempted abduction in broad day light with others around. I got away and gave the police the car rego and described the man- he was a known sex offender. A high school friend was sexually assaulted on a train in broad daylight. Others I know were "flashed" on trains at peak times too.
    Far out that is terrifying!

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to SummerFun For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (27-08-2013)

  9. #66
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I grew up in a decent suburb yet at age 11 was the victim of an attempted abduction in broad day light with others around. I got away and gave the police the car rego and described the man- he was a known sex offender. A high school friend was sexually assaulted on a train in broad daylight. Others I know were "flashed" on trains at peak times too.
    Maybe Afghanistan had it right - women covered from head to toe, not allowed in public without male relatives, and windows blackened so men can't see in. This seems to be the attitude anyway. Anyway, I'm acting in a highly dangerous manner right now - I'm in the room at the front of the house. A car could crash through that wall at any minute now...or a man could see in through the window. Everyone knows I'd be safer at the back.

  10. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Benji For This Useful Post:

    Amiedoll  (27-08-2013),Atropos  (27-08-2013),Mokeybear  (27-08-2013)

  11. #67
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Rural NSW
    Posts
    1,304
    Thanks
    2,279
    Thanked
    490
    Reviews
    3
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I think your friend did the right thing, she was being herself until an unsafe situation occurred and she left and sort help with the police.
    The daughters comments were a bit weird but maybe she's not as alarmed about the situation as you were (and thought it was much more innocent than it might have been).
    I take reasonable precautions, walking alone in a park is quite reasonable (even if its a bit dodgy). I'm not going to think an attack is just around every corner (it haven't been so far). If I feel unsafe I leave the situation and call for help.


    Sent from my iPhone using Bub Hub app

  12. #68
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    409
    Thanks
    1,060
    Thanked
    422
    Reviews
    0
    Bubhub - the place where you come to voice your concerns about your friend - and somehow you are the devil.

    OP - I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with worrying about a friend!!! Unfortunately there isnt much you can do about it. And I imagine the whole point of mentioning what the daughter said was that it was disturbing that the daughter thought someone harrassing her mother was a sign that they found her attractvie and a good thing!

    I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with telling a friend to be careful or cautious in a park that is known for problems.

  13. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to TimeForWine For This Useful Post:

    happy wanderer  (01-09-2013),Jontu  (27-08-2013),SAgirl  (27-08-2013),SugarSkull  (27-08-2013)

  14. #69
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    19,776
    Thanks
    5,212
    Thanked
    7,063
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I think it's fine to tell your friends whatever you want. Going online and unloading about a 50 year old grown woman and telling the world she doesn't use wisdom etc I would be upset to be on the receiving end. I tell my friends when I'm worried, but if they don't want my advice that's surely up to them. She's 50 according to the OP, I'm pretty sure she knows how to go about her own daily life by now

  15. #70
    TimeForWine's Avatar
    TimeForWine is offline Taking everyday one wine at a time...
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Posts
    409
    Thanks
    1,060
    Thanked
    422
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Benji View Post
    I think it's fine to tell your friends whatever you want. Going online and unloading about a 50 year old grown woman and telling the world she doesn't use wisdom etc I would be upset to be on the receiving end. I tell my friends when I'm worried, but if they don't want my advice that's surely up to them. She's 50 according to the OP, I'm pretty sure she knows how to go about her own daily life by now
    Sure it might be upsetting on the receiving end but so woudl 90% of the posts in here!

    I just think its sad that she may have worded some of her post slightly off and she gets jumped on. Ultimately she is concerned about her friend.

    In my world there is nothing wrong with that.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 91
    Last Post: 01-09-2013, 20:18
  2. "Dear Daughter: I hope you have awesome sex"
    By London in forum General Chat
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 15-08-2013, 16:40
  3. How to teach daughter about touching her "private parts"
    By JR03 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 18-07-2013, 13:14

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Nice Pak Products
Australian Made and Owned. The Baby U Goat Milk Skincare range is enriched with soothing goats milk sourced from country, Victoria. Goat's milk has a pH level close to that of our own skin and contains natural sources of amino acids and vitamins.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates
TPS Health Physiotherapy and Pilates has three clinics located at Morningside, Redlands and Lutwyche. We offer pre and post natal services as well as physiotherapy and Pilates. All clinics offer child minding services so bubs are always welcome!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!