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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I don't think anyone was / is implying this AT ALL. I certainly wasn't.
    You said- 'talk about tempting fate'

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  3. #52
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    OP I am wondering if your friend has some sort of mental impairment that means she can'tmake sound decisions for her own safety? Otherwise I would think she is a grown woman and can decide whether or not she wants to talk to strangers and go walking wherever she wants... As for her daughters comments, I find them a little strange but I wonder if she is just young and made a bad joke? I personally wouldn't try and tell my own grown friend what she can and cannot do unless however she was not of sound mind to make such decisions....

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  5. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I understand what happy wanderer is saying, what I don't understand is how a lot of the PPs seem to think we live in this wonderful happy world where just because you are a woman and you shouldn't get raped or sexually assaulted, you won't.

    Seriously? Yes women have rights to do as they please, as do men, but there are certain people who CHOOSE to rape or assault and if you are in a dodgy area (or often even in a safe area) and there is a Rapist wanting to rape you, they will! What's so wrong about avoiding these situations IF YOU CAN?

    U don't have some force field around you protecting you! Protect yourself!

    Why do you think animals have the instinct of safety in numbers? And just instinct in general? Your women's rights aren't goin to protect you! Yes they may put the rapist in jail etc but that's not going to help when you are in the situation.

    There is nothing wrong with avoiding dodgy situations and from what the OP has said, even the cops have said to avoid that particular park. Talk about tempting fate!!
    Talk about tempting fate- this is the thing- walking in a park is NOT inviting rape or sexual assault- it's not tempting anything. We've already established that you are much more likely to raped by someone you know- so is having a partner or male friend "tempting fate"? By all means, avoid parks at night if you want to but those that don't or can't are no more "tempting fate" than you are by knowing a man, in fact statistically by knowing a man you are "tempting fate" even more than if you walked through a dark park. Do you see how ridiculous it seems?

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  7. #54
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    Rapists shouldn't rape and yes, women have the right to walk through a park alone etc. The reality is that there ARE rapists out there. There ARE pedophiles & murderers.
    We don't live in a perfect world and we never will. Unfortunately we need to do things to *try* keep ourselves safe. Police officers give us info on keeping safe for a reason. There are sickos out there and that's that.
    If somebody says "keep safe" it doesn't mean they're pro rape and that they're blaming the victim.
    My friend got sexually assaulted in an empty car park.
    Another friend of mine was walking through an alley to get to her friends house and this douche bag grabbed her & almost sexually assaulted her before her friend came out of her house and yelled out. So it *does* happen.

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    Don't we 'tempt fate' every time we cross the road? Or get in the car?

    Do I bear some fault if a car mounts the footpath and hits me? Because we all know cars *can* do that so I was probably tempting fate by walking there.

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    Op, was your friend sexually assaulted or sexually harassed? I'm a bit confused.

    Either way, I think it was very inappropriate for her daughter to respond in the way she did.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    Don't we 'tempt fate' every time we cross the road? Or get in the car?

    Do I bear some fault if a car mounts the footpath and hits me? Because we all know cars *can* do that so I was probably tempting fate by walking there.
    You still try to keep yourself safe when crossing the road or getting into the car don't you? You still look left to right, listen and see that it's safe before crossing.. It's kinda like tryin to keep yourself safe in empty parks, alleys, car parks etc.

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  14. #58
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    To those who are advocating caution- the OP states that her friend was in a park where lots of people are around. She doesn't say whether it was night or day. I will hazard a guess at day given there were lots of people.
    This is the problem- where does it end? Women shouldn't walk in populated areas alone? In the day time? Maybe we all need chaperones. Or not go out at all. Certainly not drive for fear of carjacking, not to mention the risks of walking from your car to your destination. Workplaces are too risky too, you hear so many stories of sexual harassment and assault in the workplace. Women should never ever go on unchaperoned dates due to the very real risk of date rape. And then of course women are most at risk from their loved ones, so they shouldn't even be living with men. Tempting fate, really.
    The only thing for it is to whisk every woman off to a nunnery and lock her in as soon as she is born.

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    OP I would have said something to your friend like "I wouldn't go walking in that area alone, but if you want to make sure you are careful. Perhaps carry one of those alert pendants." Then it's up to your friend.

    Overall I'm a cautious person. I have a good radar for danger and avoid situations which I think are dangerous. I won't walk in isolated areas alone during the day or night. I won't be drunk around people I don't know very well (hell nowdays Ill just have a few drinks around hubby that's it). I will walk the long way home from work at night if it means avoiding that one not very well lit alleyway. I avoid areas infamous for crimes, including attacks on women, regardless of whether they are populated areas. I follow the recommendations of police: if they advise certain areas are dangerous they I stay away. I don't feel what I'm doing is placing blame on women for rape. I feel it's facing reality and being smart in looking out for my welfare. I don't care if people quote stats that people are more likely to be raped by people they know. I mean I believe the stats but they don't change how I do things. I'm as cautious in letting people in to my inner circle as I am walking down a street at night.

    I don't think advising people to be bold in high risk scenarios is the answer... Or the only way to support feminism. The stats also show people get raped and killed by strangers in dark alleys. Just look at poor Jill Meagher.
    Last edited by VicPark; 27-08-2013 at 10:02.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SugarSkull View Post
    You still try to keep yourself safe when crossing the road or getting into the car don't you? You still look left to right, listen and see that it's safe before crossing.. It's kinda like tryin to keep yourself safe in empty parks, alleys, car parks etc.
    It's still tempting fate. I can't control the actions of anyone else.


 

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