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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Your attitude towards this concerned me when you said that women need to 'take reasonable responsibility for their safety' and avoid any "dodgy" areas. This implies that if a woman walks somewhere someone may deem "dodgy" then she is somehow responsible for whatever bad thing that might happen, or is inviting an attack, and that is just not the case.

    I regularly walk alone at night in less than desirable areas. Not doing so isnt an option. I always take my phone with me, never had any problems.
    My DD has to walk through doggy area late a night most nights to get to her tram to get home from work. She often will ring me at all times of the night if she feels unsafe. If something happen to her it wouldn't be her fault for not taking precautions it would be the attackers fault.

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  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    My DD has to walk through doggy area late a night most nights to get to her tram to get home from work. She often will ring me at all times of the night if she feels unsafe. If something happen to her it wouldn't be her fault for not taking precautions it would be the attackers fault.
    Exactly right. And I hope it never does.

  4. #33
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    What's concerning is the seeming attitude from the dark ages "she's asking for trouble" kinda of attitude. We can't live in a box. I've had personal dealings with a stalker through my profession & I had an employer suggest its the way I dress somehow a skirt above the knee & a lab coat were provocative. I didn't change anything about myself & his comments were I was asking for it. I was made to feel like I was the one with the problem & I made my choice not to play the victim, instead to assert my choices & live how I wish & beat this guy with the law & the police.

    It's not the same as rape, but we can't live in fear of how we dress, or the park, or gym or being home by ourselves it's our right as humans to do as we wish.

    Op I don't know what your problem is but it's almost like jealousy in way especially to point out the bit about what your friends daughter said. Kinda like she's moving on & putting herself out there to be approachable & meet new people & leaving you behind in some way? Idk. Just saying.

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  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Exactly right. And I hope it never does.
    Me too.

  7. #35
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    Just want to add my two cents here. I was always taught by my mother not to put myself in a situation that could lead to my harm. Walking alone, in a park, at night just seems like an unnecessary risk to me. I agree that women shouldn't be afraid to go out at night alone and that the chances of being assaulted are slim but I certainly don't want to be a statistic and I wouldn't want my friend to be one either.

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  9. #36
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    You don't drive?

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  11. #37
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    I am a risk averse person and if a police officer advised me to avoid walking alone in a park known for trouble I would take that advice. Doesn't matter if I was female or male.
    Same as if I went travelling overseas I would avoid doing things which are known to be dangerous such as red light districts etc.
    This does not mean I am putting the responsibility on myself, it just means I am avoiding a dangerous situation. Yes, I know there are stats about being killed in a car accident etc but for me an accident is a random occurrence and is not as scary as being a victim of a violent crime.
    Hence I can understand the op wants to warn her friend but obviously it's up to the friend to do as she pleases. I had a friend who lived in the same area as myself and was mugged near the train station. her advice to me was to be careful and I appreciate that.

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  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    My DD has to walk through doggy area late a night most nights to get to her tram to get home from work. She often will ring me at all times of the night if she feels unsafe. If something happen to her it wouldn't be her fault for not taking precautions it would be the attackers fault.
    Again, never once did I say or imply that it would be the women's fault!! I am saying that in general women (and men for that matter) should take care of themselves. Geez there is nothing wrong with that!! You don't deliberately go and put yourself in harms way If you can help it!

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  15. #39
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    It sounds like your friend wants to continue to walk in this park and that is her choice. Rather than tell her not to I would speak to hear about carrying a rape alarm, pepper spray (is it legal here? Perfume in the eyes would also work) and some basic self defense moves.

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  17. #40
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    Could it just have been miscommunication OP between the two parties? She was just being friendly and talking to someone ( which by the sounds of it is not uncommon for her) but he thought there was something more?
    I'm not saying she lead him on I am saying however its sometimes easy for miscommunication to occur and his expectations from the in-counter may have been different from hers.

    I personally don't put myself in harms way and I am also very careful when talking to strangers about my body language and words. It is very easy for someone to misunderstand situations.

    OP if the police have warned her and she still is going there then I don't think there's much you can do, it's great you are a good friend who cares about those close to her.


 

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