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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    If like to see where you get these stats? Many many women get raped by strangers!!

    It's about being in the wrong place at the wrong time a lot of the time and a park which is KNOWN for trouble should be avoided. I don't really understand how you don't seem to get this? As women we need to take reasonable responsibility for our own safety too!

    I think the OPs point is that she cares about her friend and whether or not her friend was sexually assaulted or sexually harassed is still cause for concern! Especially since the guy was following her...
    Your attitude is a little bit concerning. As women, as human beings, we have a right not to be raped. Rape is never EVER the fault of the victim. If a woman is raped walking through a park at night wearing a miniskirt after drinking 5 beers IT'S STILL the fault of the rapist- not the victim.
    Being in a "dodgy park" does not mean you are asking for rape. There shouldn't be parks that are "known for trouble" like this

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  3. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Untrue. Most people are raped by people they know. Stranger rape is not at all common or prevalent.
    Ok, I won't disagree because I don't know the stats but it DOES happen. Just like poor Jill Meagher.

    Either way, what I'm trying to get at is that I don't see what the OP is doing as anything wrong... She's looking out for her friend with good reason! Her friend was sexually harassed in a park which is known for trouble by police...

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  5. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    Ok, I won't disagree because I don't know the stats but it DOES happen. Just like poor Jill Meagher.
    No one is denying that it does happen it just not the most common kind of rape

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Your attitude is a little bit concerning. As women, as human beings, we have a right not to be raped. Rape is never EVER the fault of the victim. If a woman is raped walking through a park at night wearing a miniskirt after drinking 5 beers IT'S STILL the fault of the rapist- not the victim.
    Being in a "dodgy park" does not mean you are asking for rape. There shouldn't be parks that are "known for trouble" like this
    My attitude is concerning? How exactly? Because I think taking care of yourself is important?

    I'm not saying be afraid to live your life but let's be honest here, would you walk alone at night (or day) in a known dodgy area? I doubt it...

    Never once did I say rape is the fault of the woman, don't put words in my mouth.

    I don't for one minute believe that AT ALL. Women should NOT be raped but they are and there is nothing wrong in protecting yourself as best you can.

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    Quote Originally Posted by littlebopeep2013 View Post
    I am concerned for a friend who does the most stupidest of things. We live in an imperfect world but we don't deserve bad things to happen to us. In saying that no woman asks for assaults but my friend doesn't use wisdom and it concerns me. She walks alone in a big park and she tells me lots of people are walking. On Saturday she met a young man in the park. She said he was well-dressed and told her he was waiting for a friend. She decided to chat with him and asked him about his life, etc. When she left him, he followed her and, he said some sexual things to her and went into the toilet. She began walking faster and then, noticed he was following her.Her daughter told her that he must have found her attractive and it was a good thing. I am just appalled at comments like this. She told me she reported him to the Police and has given them a name(he even was silly enough to give her his name)... The thing which concerns me is that she is going back to the park and won't let this alarm her and feels it's ok to talk to strangers. She said that she believed every word he said about his life. She feels as though HE should have treated her better. She is on the lookout for another relationship and I am hoping she is not looking for it in a stranger.... She is nearly 50..
    OP- your friend should be able to walk through a park and talk to another person without fear of sexual harassment. I agree, hen her daughters attitude is disappointing and she needs to have a chat with her!
    As for never going to the park again, this is ridiculous- she is right, he SHOULD have treated her better, it's not her fault he didn't. Why should she never speak to anyone again, because 1 person did the wrong thing? I can't say I agree with you. Your friend sounds like a strong lady, willing to stand up for herself and not let creeps like that ruin her. Good on her.

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  11. #26
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    I think if you grew up in South Africa, where a lot of women are raped by strangers, then it's understandable to make that assumption.

    But here, in Australia, it is different... As PPs have said, the very vast majority of sexual assaults happen by someone known to the victim.

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    I'm really confused about why you included the daughter's comment, particularly as the thread title - are you concerned about the daughter?

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    My attitude is concerning? How exactly? Because I think taking care of yourself is important?

    I'm not saying be afraid to live your life but let's be honest here, would you walk alone at night (or day) in a known dodgy area? I doubt it...

    Never once did I say rape is the fault of the woman, don't put words in my mouth.

    I don't for one minute believe that AT ALL. Women should NOT be raped but they are and there is nothing wrong in protecting yourself as best you can.
    Your attitude towards this concerned me when you said that women need to 'take reasonable responsibility for their safety' and avoid any "dodgy" areas. This implies that if a woman walks somewhere someone may deem "dodgy" then she is somehow responsible for whatever bad thing that might happen, or is inviting an attack, and that is just not the case.

    I regularly walk alone at night in less than desirable areas. Not doing so isnt an option. I always take my phone with me, never had any problems.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SAgirl View Post
    I'm not saying be afraid to live your life but let's be honest here, would you walk alone at night (or day) in a known dodgy area? I doubt it...
    I have. I've lived in many dodgy areas. I didn't have a car. I still wanted to get from A to B and not be strictly confined to daylight hours. So I walked, a lot, alone at night. I went on the dodgy train line, alone, at night. I still do sometimes.

    I might get raped, but I'm actually more likely to be raped by DP in my own than I am by some random on a train, and since I'm not too worried that DP is going to do that, I'm not going to spend my life worrying that if I dare go out alone at night, I'll get raped.

    So far I haven't been raped by a stranger. That's not to say it doesn't happen, because it does. It's just far less likely to happen by a stranger than by someone known to me. So meh.

    Really, I think the OP has a right to be concerned about her friend if her friend is being a bit crappy in her choices of men to seek a romantic relationship with... but she's crying sexual assault in her title when there was no evidence of sexual assault in the post content... and apart from talking to a stranger in a park, I don't see what the issue even is... or why it's concerned.

    Or, actually, why I'm somehow disturbing.

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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I'm really confused about why you included the daughter's comment, particularly as the thread title - are you concerned about the daughter?
    Yes, it's a bit odd. I'm not sure what the point of the thread is exactly, the OP was a little confusing.


 

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