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  1. #1
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    Default Friend was sexually assaulted and daughter says, "at least he found you attractive"

    I am concerned for a friend who does the most stupidest of things. We live in an imperfect world but we don't deserve bad things to happen to us. In saying that no woman asks for assaults but my friend doesn't use wisdom and it concerns me. She walks alone in a big park and she tells me lots of people are walking. On Saturday she met a young man in the park. She said he was well-dressed and told her he was waiting for a friend. She decided to chat with him and asked him about his life, etc. When she left him, he followed her and, he said some sexual things to her and went into the toilet. She began walking faster and then, noticed he was following her.Her daughter told her that he must have found her attractive and it was a good thing. I am just appalled at comments like this. She told me she reported him to the Police and has given them a name(he even was silly enough to give her his name)... The thing which concerns me is that she is going back to the park and won't let this alarm her and feels it's ok to talk to strangers. She said that she believed every word he said about his life. She feels as though HE should have treated her better. She is on the lookout for another relationship and I am hoping she is not looking for it in a stranger.... She is nearly 50..
    Last edited by littlebopeep2013; 26-08-2013 at 17:50.

  2. #2
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    He sounds like a perve, but if all that happened was he said some inappropriate things to her, then she wasn't sexually assaulted, just harassed.

    Why do you think think it's a stupid thing for a woman to dare to walk alone in a park? Surely we have that right. The fact that I have a vagina that can be unwillingly penetrated by a rapist doesn't mean I should spend my life living in fear. Hell, even if all women never left their homes, we'd still have plenty of female rape victims.

    I think she has the right to do whatever she damn well pleases, and I think you really have no right or reason to suggest she shouldn't go walking alone.

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  4. #3
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    thanks...I know what you mean.....I spoke with a police officer in the area and she told me it is NOT good to walk alone in this particular park as they have had a lot of problems. It's not advisable. I agree..she should be allowed to walk alone in peace. I am concerned when she talks to strangers...

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    But she's an adult. Everyone is a stranger before you get to know them... and to do that, you have to talk to them.

    I think, "to be safe, you should avoid..." is bad advice for women tbh. Women shouldn't have to NOT do anything to avoid rape. Rapists should just not rape.

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  7. #5
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    I agree rapists should not rape but that's never going to happen. The scum will always be around.
    So I agree with the op. if its a dodgey park I would avoid that park because of its history or what the police officer said.

    Op all you can do is say to ur friend that she should walk somewhere else because of what happened and that u would never want it to go any further than it did.
    And then it's up to ur friend..

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    Agree with pisang. I would avoid walking alone in that park if its been advised by the police. You can only suggest to your friend to be more vigilant and careful but its up to her what she chooses to do.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SassyMummy View Post
    But she's an adult. Everyone is a stranger before you get to know them... and to do that, you have to talk to them.

    I think, "to be safe, you should avoid..." is bad advice for women tbh. Women shouldn't have to NOT do anything to avoid rape. Rapists should just not rape.
    I get what you are saying but honestly, this is just unrealistic!! The fact is that women get raped and a LOT of women get assaulted in parks etc while walkin alone...

    We don't live in a perfect world and never will.

    OP I personally think its good advice telling your friend to be careful etc. I wouldn't walk in parks on my own (at night) in fact I never walk anywhere alone at night, but in saying that, I'm from South Africa and you just don't do that there. As women, we NEED to look after ourselves and keep ourselves safe.

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    I think she has the right to do whatever she damn well pleases, and I think you really have no right or reason to suggest she shouldn't go walking alone.
    She is a friend and I care about her.......in her current vunerable state I don't want to see her hurt emotionally or physically. Perhaps I could give you the name and phone number of the Police Constable I spoke to who happens to be a lady that walks in the Park all the time. Perhaps you need to have a talk with her. Your comments are very disturbing. And I will get involved as much as I can. If you want to meet a man for a relationship, IT shouldn't be in a dirty park near a toilet block....You're comments made me shudder.
    Last edited by littlebopeep2013; 26-08-2013 at 19:41.

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    You're in more danger of rape around someone you know than someone you don't. Majority of rapists rape women that are known to them.

    You wouldn't suggest women stop having friends, or stop visiting people they know, etc even though the risk of rape is higher around these people that they know... so why suggest people not walk on their own?

    I'm not going to give up my life and go into hiding on the off change some stranger decided to attack me. I think it's wrong to suggest that a woman should be doing this in order to prevent rape... since statistically, to prevent rape in Australia, you should probably just stop interacting with people altogether, since they're the ones who are most likely to rape you.

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  17. #10
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    anything to avoid rape.
    I never mentioned anything about rape. In an ideal, perfect world we can safely do all these things,but, if you hadn't noticed, we don't live in an ideal world. It's a bit like saying, I will step into the lions cage because I love lions and they shouldn't hurt me because I like them. She walks in the park for exercise and so she should and I applaud her for that but walking and chatting with a man who obviously isn't there for a picnic, Is not a good idea. And I always listen to the advice of the Police as they know more then you and me.
    Last edited by littlebopeep2013; 26-08-2013 at 20:10.

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