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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    OLB I have exactly the same problem with dd1! I struggle with it as well but I have found a great book, recommended by a friend, called "the highly sensitive child". If you google it, you will find a questionnaire online from the book. If you answer yes to a lot of those questions, its well worth buying the book. Its given me a different way of looking at how dd1 approaches the world, for example now when we walk into a room and she hangs back, instead of saying she's shy, I can now appreciate that she is just taking it all in, noises, smells, movement, watching the people. Its been very helpful to us, I highly recommend it!
    This!^^

    I'm highly sensitive and my three girls are also highly sensitive. Reading this book helped me understand me and also helped me to understand where my girls are at.

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  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    OLB I have exactly the same problem with dd1! I struggle with it as well but I have found a great book, recommended by a friend, called "the highly sensitive child". If you google it, you will find a questionnaire online from the book. If you answer yes to a lot of those questions, its well worth buying the book. Its given me a different way of looking at how dd1 approaches the world, for example now when we walk into a room and she hangs back, instead of saying she's shy, I can now appreciate that she is just taking it all in, noises, smells, movement, watching the people. Its been very helpful to us, I highly recommend it!
    Thanks for that.

    Ds1 has been described as sensitive since he was a young toddler. I'm finding it harder to keep my patience with him as every tiny thing can be huge with him.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    OurLittleBlessing  (24-08-2013)

  5. #13
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    Yes, I have sensitive kids and the book Gothel recommended is brilliant.

    Best advice I have is to accept them for who they are and don't try to 'toughen them up'. But do spend time on emotion coaching to help them handle their emotions so they don't get overwhelmed.

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    OurLittleBlessing  (24-08-2013)

  7. #14
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    Thanks so much for the replies everyone, that is really helpful.

    Gothel - I will buy that book online right now! it sounds really good.

    Thanks again everyone. I've woken up armed with a bit of extra patience today. Probably helps that DH is here for the weekend too haha!

    Zombie - she truly is a sweetheart. She is a very special kid and that is why I get so annoyed with myself for not having more patience.

    Anyway, onwards and upwards, as they say.

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  9. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by bitterpure View Post
    No real advice but I get where you're going with this. DS (almost 3) is a sensitive little guy and there are times when I feel like yelling at him to 'toughen up!' If another kid snatches a toy off him or accidentally knocks him he'll really take it to heart too, often cries or says 'Ow, he hurt me!!!' (when I know it was just a nudge). If he knocks something and breaks it he'll go 'Ohhh nooo, I didn't mean to!' and I end up spending ages reassuring him it's okay and accidents happen!

    I kind of feel it's important for a child to learn to be resilient but not sure how to go about teaching them (or indeed whether it is something that can even be taught...)
    DS is the same age and can be quite sensitive too - he is so lovely to other children and if they turn around and be nasty to him I see it on his face, he is devo'd. It's so hard or me to not jump in and give the little nasty kid a piece of my mind!! Lol, but I know I shouldn't.

    DS is never the mean kid, and I think our little sensitive ones have a real gift. The problem is that one needs to be resilient in this world. Unlike your child OP my DS doesn't get upset if he does the wrong thing/breaks something as such, just when others are mean.

    I really think the fact you acknowledge your DD is sensitive and adjust your parenting style to consider that is a very good start. Getting angry doesn't really work with sensitive kids at all (I was one too) and you realise that (wish my parents did!!). Sensitive kids respond better to words, conversation and affection, reason combined with warmth. There are many things she will learn the hard way though unfortunately :/

    I honestly think sensitive children grow up to be the most resilient adults of all. They have emotional intelligence, which if we think about it, is why they get upset to begin with (they understand).

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  11. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    DS is the same age and can be quite sensitive too - he is so lovely to other children and if they turn around and be nasty to him I see it on his face, he is devo'd. It's so hard or me to not jump in and give the little nasty kid a piece of my mind!! Lol, but I know I shouldn't.

    DS is never the mean kid, and I think our little sensitive ones have a real gift. The problem is that one needs to be resilient in this world. Unlike your child OP my DS doesn't get upset if he does the wrong thing/breaks something as such, just when others are mean.

    I really think the fact you acknowledge your DD is sensitive and adjust your parenting style to consider that is a very good start. Getting angry doesn't really work with sensitive kids at all (I was one too) and you realise that (wish my parents did!!). Sensitive kids respond better to words, conversation and affection, reason combined with warmth. There are many things she will learn the hard way though unfortunately :/

    I honestly think sensitive children grow up to be the most resilient adults of all. They have emotional intelligence, which if we think about it, is why they get upset to begin with (they understand).
    Your whole post makes a lot of sense. I don't think I am a particularly sensitive person so this is quite a learning curve.

    Sometimes I think my kids teach me more than I teach them!

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    Great post. I have a little sensitive soul master 4. The questionnaire basically described him to a tee. Am def going to get the book too. Thanks all xx

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    Hi OP,

    I totally get where you are coming from. DS 4.5yrs is so sensitive, that even crossing the road can be stressful for him. I am at my wits end on what to do for him. You'd think I would know as I am one of those sensitive children who has grown up to be a sensitive adult!! Often I can approach him on his level, but it is hard even for me! I hardly know what to do for myself let alone him! the only thing I can say for me is that I embrace who is rather than try to change him. I feel that I would be denying him his feelings if I go against what he feels. I try to always put a positive spin on a situation that is concerning him and try to get him to see that side of things also.

    At this stage, I will continue to keep an eye on him, might even discuss things with a GP.

    BTW thanks for starting this thread, as there have been some good suggestions made that all of us with sensitive children can benefit from. Hope you find some answers.

  15. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    DS is the same age and can be quite sensitive too - he is so lovely to other children and if they turn around and be nasty to him I see it on his face, he is devo'd. It's so hard or me to not jump in and give the little nasty kid a piece of my mind!! Lol, but I know I shouldn't.

    DS is never the mean kid, and I think our little sensitive ones have a real gift. The problem is that one needs to be resilient in this world. Unlike your child OP my DS doesn't get upset if he does the wrong thing/breaks something as such, just when others are mean.

    I really think the fact you acknowledge your DD is sensitive and adjust your parenting style to consider that is a very good start. Getting angry doesn't really work with sensitive kids at all (I was one too) and you realise that (wish my parents did!!). Sensitive kids respond better to words, conversation and affection, reason combined with warmth. There are many things she will learn the hard way though unfortunately :/

    I honestly think sensitive children grow up to be the most resilient adults of all. They have emotional intelligence, which if we think about it, is why they get upset to begin with (they understand).
    Agree with all your points too, well said.

    DS is quite the same with being lovely to other kids and not alway getting the same response back. Breaks my heart to see that hurt look. Just today at the park he was smiling at a kid and they were taking turns going down the slide. All good till the kid suddenly pushed past DS to climb up the slippery slide when it was DS' turn. DS didn't really react but just stood aside with 'that' look. On the way home he said 'Why did that boy have to push me on my turn Mummy?'...Caught me off guard that he was still thinking about it and I wasn't sure how to explain it to him either?!

    I was a sensitive child myself (still am a fairly sensitive adult) so I can definitely sympathise with him taking every little thing to heart. I can still recall stupid things kids said to me in kindergarten and how I felt at the time. I think it's a tricky thing to watch him learn the same lessons that I had to learn the hard way - that sometimes you can be nice to others but they won't always be nice back! Definitely feel like I want to protect him from all that... but know that I can't.

    I agree that sensitive children are highly emotionally intelligent though and often able to articulate their feelings well so patience, reassurance and rationally talking things over seems the best strategy. My mother sent me to my room once and only once as a child - she never did it again because she was wracked with guilt as I got soooo distraught and apparently talked about how scared I was for weeks afterwards (I remember it vaguely too!)
    Last edited by bitterpure; 24-08-2013 at 15:50.

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  17. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by bitterpure View Post
    DS is quite the same with being lovely to other kids and not alway getting the same response back. Breaks my heart to see that hurt look. Just today at the park he was smiling at a kid and they were taking turns going down the slide. All good till the kid suddenly pushed past DS to climb up the slippery slide when it was DS' turn. DS didn't really react but just stood aside with 'that' look. On the way home he said 'Why did that boy have to push me on my turn Mummy?'...Caught me off guard that he was still thinking about it and I wasn't sure how to explain it to him either?!
    Oh bless!! What a sweet heart. Bring him over here to play ith my DS, they will have a wonderful time


 

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