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  1. #31
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    At the end of the day, if you're not comfortable with someone being alone with your child, then that's enough to make me say just don't do it. It's not worth the stress!

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    1234Guest  (23-08-2013),Ellewood  (23-08-2013),HippyGirl85  (23-08-2013),LoveLivesHere  (23-08-2013),lovesushi  (23-08-2013),MilkingMaid  (23-08-2013)

  3. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by bohogirls View Post
    But really, unless youve lived with someone, you dont really know them.
    Actually, even if you've lived with someone they can still surprise you.
    I am very protective of my son, I have raised him on my own. I never expected his dad to leave after we tried for years to get pregnant - it was a major shock... maybe that makes me more protective (?) but I know most parents have that same protective instinct so I'm not ire how I compare to others.

    I never, ever want to put DS in a situation I'm uncomfortable with, yet I don't want to be a helicopter, overly protective parent!!

    Why didn't he just say "no worries, all good"?! I know I'm very different to my sister and her friends etc. so think very differently about things.

    Gah!

    I am going to follow my gut here, but will maintain an ongoing relationship with my sister and her bf, but will limit it o outings where we are all present. Thank you so much everyone for your thoughts and validation. It's been p,align on my mind all afternoon! Cheers,

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  5. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post

    Why didn't he just say "no worries, all good"?!
    probably because you used the words 'wet blanket' in your message to him?

    ETA..sorry to be picky - but that seems to be the main thing that 'worries' you.

    I totally understand the protective parent thing - I am extremely protective of my lot too.

    I'm just in shock that so many people have jumped to the assumption that he is out to do your child harm.
    Last edited by FiveInTheBed; 23-08-2013 at 19:58.

  6. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    probably because you used the words 'wet blanket' in your message to him?

    ETA..sorry to be picky - but that seems to be the main thing that 'worries' you.

    I totally understand the protective parent thing - I am extremely protective of my lot too.

    I'm just in shock that so many people have jumped to the assumption that he is out to do your child harm.
    No, I didn't say that at all! Even so, I still don't feel cosy with it. And it still doesn't justify his rude response!

  7. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    No, I didn't say that at all! Even so, I still don't feel cosy with it. And it still doesn't justify his rude response!
    *shrug* ..must've read your OP wrong.

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  9. #36
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    The OP does say that. Yep it's slightly rude but I think there are two separate issues here. It sounds like you are uncomfortable about your son spending time with him alone which is understandable. I don't know if the text should be used as a reason though as I think it was just a bad joke really!

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by FiveInTheBed View Post
    *shrug* ..must've read your OP wrong.
    sorry, my reply to him was sorry to be a wet blanket... Didn't clarify and got mixed up in my OP.

    my response to his calling me a wet blanket to start with that is!
    Last edited by Ellewood; 23-08-2013 at 20:25.

  11. #38
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    Gut feeling. Go with that. All I know is, the few times when I have used logic rather than intuition- I've lived to regret it. Maybe other hubbers could ask their DP's/DH's for their perspective and report back. I feel sometimes as a female I am too generous.

  12. #39
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    I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. His text to you was a response to yours saying you are a wet blanket. Lots of grown ups love circuses (regardless of whether they are ethically sound). Maybe it's a childhood nostalgic thing. He was probably thinking his little 'nephew' would love it and its a nice excuse to go. Now there are people on a forum having 'alarm bells' over his behaviour

  13. #40
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    OP: did you have a 'gut feeling' before the text message? If not, could your gut feeling actually be a cranky pants moment in response to the text?

    I was thinking about your explanation to the brother in law. Now I agree with your stance on the circus but perhaps your explanation was a bit too long.. Talking about morals and ethics...By using many words to state your view perhaps you BIL thought you were being hoighty toighty... Rubbing his nose in your values... Having a go at him for thinking about a circus. Perhaps a simpler "thanks for the offer. I'm not a fan of the circus, but really appreciate your offer" would have gone down better? Perhaps your BIL, by referring to the wet blanket was having a go at you for rubbing his nose in it?


 

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