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  1. #11
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    Yes this is how I feel. It may not be reasonable to him or others, but who is he to tell me I'm being a wet blanket? He has no idea! He and my sister, when DS was a newborn were always telling me what I 'should' do. I am ten years older than them, very worldly, was the actual parent doing the parenting yet they knew better?? (yet avoided actually helping me during tougher times). It's just a bit patronising.

    Maybe it's just immaturity? We did have a very different upbringing... I travelled a lot with my mum and step-dad, they've lived very sheltered lives...

    Because it's a fairly new thing to be to be close with my half-siblings now, I don't want to lose that. It's very nice having my sisters in DS's life and they absolutely adore him. But this incident IMO is weird... Not sure what to make of it.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Minchi View Post
    I dunno, if he has been around 4-5 years, maybe he feels like he's a part of the family? like an uncle..?
    maybe he does minchi... I still think his response was uncalled for though. I understand you POV though.

  3. #13
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    You can either say you aren't comfortable or give excuses whatever works for you at the time. Ultimately your feelings about who your child spends time with comes well above the grown mans feelings. I'd show your sister the text & ask what she thinks...

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    I think you should go with your instincts, if you don't feel right leaving him, then don't! It's your child and if his comments make you uncomfortable then how are you going to cope while DS is with him?

    I would just say to your sister that you'd feel more comfortable with at least two of you around so he has "back up". Would he no what to do if DS had a tantrum?

  5. #15
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    I am with you on the circus issue but I wouldn't have been offended at his response. I would have just sent a message back saying something like "Sorry, I appreciate the thought. Signed your sister in law the wet blanket "

    Have you spoken to your sister about this yet? Does she think its weird that her partner wanted to take your boy to the circus?

  6. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

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  7. #16
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    That is rude, very strange. At first I agreed with PPs when they were saying alarm bells were ringing.

    But then I realised, that we all have "family" that are only related by marriage. Growing up - I didn't realise till I was 10 or 11 that my Aunt - was my aunt by marriage.

    I'd let your sister know, ask her what she thinks.

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    I was also going to ask is it any different to letting a child see their Uncle (by marriage) ? It is your choice clearly, though to me those saying its weird he wants to see him by himself...I don't agree. Not every male who is clucky, adores children etc is a potential pedophile.

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Addison View Post
    I was also going to ask is it any different to letting a child see their Uncle (by marriage) ? It is your choice clearly, though to me those saying its weird he wants to see him by himself...I don't agree. Not every male who is clucky, adores children etc is a potential pedophile.
    Of course they aren't and I totally agree - I think it was the way he *speaks* back to me that shook me. That combined with the fact I don't *really* know him and because I didn't ever live with my sister, don't *really* know her.

    If it were my brother, who I grew up with, absolutely no issue, he can take DS anywhere he pleases anytime. Love him so much and know him so well.

  11. #19
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    Sorry I totally agree ALARM BELLS!! I have 4 brother in laws most with children of their own none of them have ever wanted to take my DS by themselves?? And I have very close family the fact that he got angry with you just screams stay away? Why would he want to do something without your sister?

    Not saying this is his intention, but unfortunately most cases of abuse occur by ppl that the child knows? I in no way want to offend you by that comment. Go with your gut instinct I believe that a mothers first instinct is always the right one

    goodluck x

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    I do find his reaction a little rude and understand you being upset about it. I'm with others who have said they don't find it weird that he wants to spend time with your DS. DH used to take my nephews to the movies and babysit them a fair bit. Same with his previous partner's nephews and he wasn't a father himself at that stage.

    On a side note I agree with you on the circus issue.

    Sent from my pho....oh who am I kidding. It's rarely used as a phone


 

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