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  1. #1
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    Default Sisters boyfriend - crossing boundaries!

    My sister's boyfriend gets annoyed if I don't let him take DS out on outings.

    A brief background - my sister and I didn't grow up together (same dad diff mum), but since I had DS (3) she has been in my life more or less regularly (apart from about 8 months when i didn't see her at all due to her being busy with work and uni). She has been with her boyfriend for 4-5 years. He is a responsible, nice guy with a decent job and he adores DS, which is lovely.

    Lately, they like to take DS out for a few hours here and there. I'm fine with that and appreciate the break (it would have been nice when he was 1 and things were really tough for me but hey I'm not complaining).

    But now he texts me wanting to take DS here or there (not with my sister presumably). It's happened twice now. The first time I was indisposed with DS somewhere, and this time he wanted to take DSto the circus.

    I said that was a lovely offer but I am morally and ethically against circuses*, and sorry to be a wet blanket but it's important to me, but thank you anyway.

    He got pi**ed with me and sent me a rude text message reply.

    This is my son, not his and he can think what he likes but I am a bit disgusted at his rudeness and immaturity - he isn't a dad, but he is 26-27 and is an adult. I don't feel overly confident sending DS out with people as it is, but after this I feel like my sister's bf is a d*ck head and am not sure i want him taking DS anywhere (without my sister there) in future!

    How should I handle this going forward? How would you handle it?

    Please don't give me grief for my opinions regarding circuses, as I don't think that's really the point here.

    Thanks

    *I had considered taking DS to the circus myself until I did a but if research regarding their animal treatment and found they beat the monkeys/animals with sticks etc. (wont go in to detail here)

  2. #2
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    Me personally, i would forward the texts to your sister telling her in no way is his behavior acceptable.

    Sent from my GT-P5110 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  4. #3
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    I don't mean to be wierd but what is a grown man who isn't biologically related wanting to take your ds out on his own and getting annoyed when you say no?

    My alarm bells are ringing very loudly....

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    I agree with sunnyflower. That sounds very strange & why would he get angry?? What did his text to you say?

  7. #5
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    I don't think the fact that a grown man wants to take out his partners nephew is weird but the fact that he gets angry because you won't let him would worry me.

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  9. #6
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    Well yes! This is just it. I do know him, he is very clucky with my sister, a fun kinda guy, but I just don't feel comfortable unless my sister is there. I mean, why wouldn't they say "hey, let's all take DS to the circus together!".

    If I discuss this with my sister she would probably think I'm over-reacting - she is so into her bf and e erroneous loves him yada yada (he is a pilot and buys DS toy planes etc.). But for me, I don't feel wired around him or anything, I just don't want to send DS out with him alone. If I said this, they would be so insulted. How do I explain it without offending him? Or should I just avoid his texts and make excuses in future?

  10. #7
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    Well the text said "right, well talk about being a wet blanket"

    I found this rude and disrespectful.

  11. #8
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    I wouldn't have found it rude or disrespectful, but that's me , but I am guessing that he might have thought it was another way of saying ''party pooper''.. kind of thing?

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  13. #9
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    I would be saying 'I don't feel comfortable with you caring for my son especially since you have now resorted to calling me names' and leave it at that. I would also be forwarding the text to your sister. I agree with sunnyflower. Why would a grown man, who is not related to your child want to spend time alone? Would you feel the same if it was a daughter? I am overprotective of my kids and the fact that he got angry about your refusal is odd to me as well. Before I was a mum some of my friends didn't want me babysitting their children because I was inexperienced. Whilst I felt a bit hurt, I understood why and didn't get angry.

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  15. #10
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    I dunno, if he has been around 4-5 years, maybe he feels like he's a part of the family? like an uncle..?


 

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