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  1. #1
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    Default Why do I feel like this?

    I decided to just give up on driving cause I've been struggling with it for 10 years & I'm still not getting anywhere.

    So why do I feel so sad & so much like a failure? I thought I'd be relieved. I thought it would feel like a massive weight off, but instead I feel like crying. I'm confused. Do I really enjoy all the anxiety & panic attacks? The fear of dying in a massive accident? The confusion & frustration of not being able to do it? I don't think so, so why do I feel like this?

    Dh wasn't that great about it - just said he wants me to keep trying cause it will be a massive problem if I don't drive. He won't support me in my decision to give up.

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    Naww I'm sorry that driving makes yoy feel that way. We all have fears about things so don't feel ashamed by it. Especially if you've persevered with it for 10 years. What has the fear originated from? Were you in an accident? Do you think you would maybe see a councillor to help you work through this issues you have with driving? I hope your husband comes around. He needs to see your a danger to yourself/passenger's and other road users if your driving while anxious and nervous

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    heartstringz  (19-08-2013)

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    I was going to suggest maybe counselling too. Have you tried that or is it an option? I'm sorry you have this in your life.

    I could not survive without driving so from my perspective (which means nothing really) I can understand your husbands concerns but he needs to more concerned that you are ok xxx

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    heartstringz  (19-08-2013)

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    Have you been driving for 10 years and just finding it stressful the whole time, or trying to learn to drive?

    It wasn't 10 years for me, but I was basically forced to get my learners (when I was 23 and then took over 3 years to finally go for my P's. I was a nervous driver and the reason it took me so long was that I didn't like the idea of me being the one responsible for killing/not killing people on the road. That felt like WAY too much pressure, and I have crappy hand-eye coordination so found it so super stressful.

    In the end, I just gave up bothering with manual. I would be there for 10 more years if I didn't just give up on that and try for auto instead. Much easier, and as stupid as it sounds... I was STRESSED AS HELL through every single lesson and my test as well.. but it's like, the moment I passed and had to drive myself home... it was fine. It's like I had confidence in driving.

    Maybe you'll find that for yourself too?

    I do think that perhaps counselling is a good idea though if you're really hung up on having an accident.

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    heartstringz  (19-08-2013)

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    Hi friends, I really need your help. I am 25 weeks pregnant. I go to RBWH, I have some complication with my pregnancy, they really really dont care at all to me....I should have c section and it make me worried too, how they can manage me...I recently bought a home( not moved yet) so now I am in the catchment of Matter hospital too. Do you think can I go there? I dont trust RBWH any more, they look care less.. however I dont know how is mater. but I hope it become better. Please advice me. I am waiting...

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    What the?? ^^^

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    I think she posted it on the wrong thread, lol she's posted it in a Mater Brisbane thread

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    Op, perhaps instead of not driving completely do you think you could continue to drive even if its only to nearby places like the local shop, visit family etc? I am not a confident driver and even now I only drive to a few limited places but to me it's better than not at all. I find if I drive to those places often enough and I always drive the same route then I get to know the road better and feel less anxious. I am moving house soon and am dreading having to learn to drive around the area so what I did was go for a practice drive without the kids early Sunday morning when there are hardly any cars. I plan on doing this a number if times to get my confidence up. From the sound of your post, it seems like you do want to keep persevering so maybe baby steps and possibly some type of counselling could help. Good luck.

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    heartstringz  (19-08-2013)

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    Maybe you are upset about your dh not supporting you but with all the emotions of stopping driving you've confused your upsetness over your dh not supporting you with giving up driving?? Its possible. Just something to think about.

    I dont drive for very much the same reason as you so I completely get it. Hugs. Its hard not driving but I get by so so can you maybe a counseling session with your hubby so he can get to understand why you cant drive.
    Xx

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    heartstringz  (19-08-2013)

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    thanks everyone. I do see a psych about it & she is telling me to do baby steps (graded exposure type thing) but it's just not working - ie, the next step is to drive around the block by myself. But there are parked cars & I literally can not tell how close I am to anything so I would having trouble passing them. I have 20/20 vision (just had my eyes checked) & have practiced over & over again - I just can't understand how to tell where my car is on the road. DH has run through it with me to the point where he got so frustrated that he got annoyed with me, I still don't get it. Supposedly I'm meant to 'visualise' where I am on the road - that sounds like 'making it up' to me & I'm not keen to do that & risk hitting someone's car etc. Everything looks close - ie I'll drive up the driveway & stop about a metre & a half away from the garage door cause it literally looks like I'm about to hit it (when I get out I see how much space I have, but given that is what it looks like, I can't get any closer next time).

    So I basically can't do any of the stuff my psych wants me to do by myself because I have no clue where I am on the road - I need someone there to tell me.

    I've had my licence for ten years but basically never driven, at least not alone. I've struggled with driving since before I got my licence (still have no clue how I actually passed my test). I've always been terrified & my parents made it worse when I was learning.

    I know how hard it is going to be if I don't drive, especially when we have kids, but I just don't know how to overcome this. I've tried everything (including driving lessons) & nothing seems to work.


 

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