WOW!Gosh I love you guys/)
I am feeling positive today again. I'm excited to have the life I always wanted. I don't know what's changed. No meds yet today and I feel good. Maybe talking about it on here rather than being scared people will judge me, maybe telling dh the secrets I had been hiding from him, maybe partly the right meds, prayer. All of it combined, I think I can do it. I feel this overwhelming love for my friends, family, mankind! Love love love. Not even a Valium this morning I promise, ha.
This is what I have in place for when I go home:
Babysitter 2-3 afternoons a week in our house so I don't have to watch the two little ones and make sure they don't drown at the same time as teaching other kids to swim.
House cleaner once a week (Fridays) who is going so clean,fold our massive pile of washing and cook 2-3 meals and do some baking for the kids.
Counsellor through atods once a fortnight.
Psych once a week, free with mental health care plan.
I now have a case manager apparently who will call every week and I can call anytime I'm feeling suicidal or whatever.
Every couple of weeks we will get a babysitter and have couple time! Like real dates! With our youngest nearly three, it is so easy now and we will have the money once I start work
Friends. Be there for my friends like they have been there for me in the past. I've pushed them all away so I need to apologise and become close again.
Get a financial planner (I've had someone offer to do it, my best friends husband) so that there isn't money stress next winter when we are down to one income again.
Get back to the gym and exercise. His is the first time in my life I have let it slide. Exercise has been my life for a lot of years.
I'm going to buy an old table on old metal chairs, and mosaic them for our back deck and that will be mine and dh spot to go and share a drink or bible reading or chocolate fondue!
I've booked horse rising lessons for my dh. It's something he has ALWAYS wanted to do but wouldn't dream of booking for himself because he is so selfless. Yay, I can't wait! I also got him an akubra hat! (Well i asked his mum to, i need to find the money ro pay her back!). He wants to be a country boy seeing as we live in a one horse town haha.
I'm not going to sweat the small stuff.
I'm going to pray.
Gee that seems like alot but it isn't really! Does it sound silly? I'm going to keep using this thread as a kind of journal of my thoughts, I don't expect people to keep replying to my rambling but I appreciate so much everyone who has responded on here or via pm so so much!
I am inspired.