Thinking of you Ffrenchie x
Thinking of you Ffrenchie x
This too shall pass....
Thinking and praying for you
Thanks Katie's mum and everyone. I feel so embarrassed, I seem to always come back to bubhub when I need help and support and it ends up as a debacle. I think that's why I've been accused of being narcisistic.
I've just gotten home from class reading in dd1's class,
It makes me so happy be able to help out and dd2 and ds3 love coming into the classroom as well. Dd1 just impresses me out everyday with her kindness and perseverance and intelligence. I so wish to be like her, she is an amazing child. Anyway, babbling now.
I'm really low today. Had a terrible day with my ed yesterday, I look awful today, my eyes are dark and puffy, I feel
Gross and fat. Not getting any pain relief from the tiny 60mg of endone/oxy I'm allowed but the gp won't increase it and said ill have to live with it. It's my fault for pushing my tolerance up too high but the pain is still real it adds to the depression living like this. And I still get interdose withdrawals.
Had a bit of a manic episode this morning, I just woke up not wanting to face the world and just needed love from dh. He has been so
Amazing, researching bulimia and my other issues for hours on end, emailing me stuff etc and just putting up with so much. I'm really grateful but I try to tell him that when I'm in a super dark place, quoting facts at me isn't going to help, I just need hugs and affirmation. I went a big psycho and pushed the couch and slammed the door (kids didnt see) I just felt so lost. He said he wants me to have something arranged by this afternoon.
Sorry for rambling, just getting it all out. I simply cannot believe this is my life.
I've been doing my job for three years now so it isn't new, I just have the winter off when the pool is closed. The grade ones and twos who come to me for lessons were all excitedly talking about coming back to lessons this morning and asking me how many sleeps now. So cute and it gives me hope that I might actually be good at my job
I worry about working so much too, but really it is the time spent at home when I struggle the most, especially with my ed.
I haven't commented as I don't feel that I have anything constructive to add, I feel for you tho.
I just wanted to say that it's perfectly understandable that you retreat here when things are hard. Many of us use the (somewhat) anonymity of an online forum to help us get through things we feel we can't or shouldn't burden in our friends we know face to face.
I can see the rock and hard place that you are in and it's awful. Perhaps ringing some services to see what you can access.
It's one of those times when the health system really fails those living rural and remote in Australia and its not fair.
Big huge cyber hugs, I wish there was more that I could do.
Completely wacky suggestion but along with finding a way of getting help, is there something you can do instead of work until the pool re opens? Volunteer or anything so your out of the house? I know that your busy but I also hear from what your saying is what helps you the most is being busy and contributing to your community which is really good for mental health and well being.
Of course this is only if it fits in with whatever help you end up accessing. Just a suggestion.
Thanks hun. I do as much as I can at the school, reading etc. I wish I could do tuck shop but at this school I'm unable
To take my two youngest with me as its a small tuck shop. At one of their old schools, I did it every week and took the younger kids with me all day and it was great.
I wish I could go to the gym more. I've been asked to do a few full in aerobics classes but there isn't much work there. I suppose they might like some help in other areas. I'm pretty sure they would actually and there'd be no problem having the children there. Good idea, thanks.
It's pretty crazy really. Between the kids activities and all my friends (love coffee shops) I am fairly busy, it's just when ok at home and broke (like I am this week) I can't afford to do much and it adds to the depression.
I turned down a girls weekend (alcohol was banned) last weekened because I didn't want to be a downer on the group.
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