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  1. #1
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    Default Unable to trust the nurse/midwife

    I am not really sure how to word my concern and questions with my situation so please bare with me as this may be long sue to rambling...

    With all 3 of my pregnancies I was induced due to hitting the 42 week mark.
    My first labour was horrible I was in active labour for 4 days stuck to a hospital bed. Basically what had happened is the nurse put in the drip the wrong way and everything was just circulating through the needle.

    My second labour went alot more smoothly, thank god. I was in active labour for only 12 hours.

    Now my third labour was what I believe traumatizing for me. I was late also so I had a stretch and sweep and went into active labour that night. While the whole labour only last roughly 6 hours things did not end 'ideal'

    With my first two labours while I was pushing and my daughters were crowning the nurse/midwives place warm water down there and it was like instant relief. With my 3rd I went into labour at a different hospital due to moving and I advised the nurse/midwives/doctors that that's all I wanted to help with relief. They had refused to listen me. I was begging for just some warm water while crowning. Finally after around 10-15 minutes they finally gave in as I then refused to push and my son was stuck.

    Once he was finally born he arrived almost blue and was not breathing. It took them all roughly 3-4 minutes for them to get him to breath- It felt like a life time and I honestly thought I had lost him. Once he was breathing he was very shaken so they admitted him into special care unit for 2 days. In that time, I was questioned and tested for drug use during my pregnancy purely based on him shaking. I put it down to him also being traumatized. My tests all came back clear which was not suprizing to me.

    I am very concerned with this pregnancy/labour that history will repeat itself as I have moved and yet again at a new hospital. My midwife assures me everything will be fine but I cannot shake that feeling this will happen again, to the point that she had told me I needed to stop worrying/stressing as it could cause stress to my baby.

    After all that my question is should and can I rely on the staff at the hospital to request my wishes to avoid this happening again as I am seriously considering pain relief just in case.
    I am torn and confused

  2. #2
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    You don't have a crystal ball, they said they would follow through with your requests. I can understand how you feel about trusting them, I would be the same.

    I would be preparing for the worst IYKWIM, that would ease my mind & let me have some control.

    This may sound weird, but can you take your own thermos of warm water and get your support person to help out in case the midwives don't?

  3. #3
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    I had a traumatizing birth with my 2nd. To the point I couldn't even talk about it. My nurses & middys are wonderful this time round we've written a detailed birth plan & all my wishes & demands have so far been met. All I had to do was talk to them. Sometimes the best laid plan doesn't work out though & we've talked through a back up worse case scenario as well. I do have trust in them that this will be followed this time, but it's taken a while & lots of talking to them & more visits than usual for me at the hospital to establish this trust. They are human & it's not in most midwives nature to make you suffer although it sometimes feels like that.

  4. #4
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    It might help if your support person knows all your wishes & you let them fight for you & explain to the midwifes what you do & don't want

    Or you could hire a private midwife or doula, I have a private midwife & I feel so comfortable & relaxed knowing she knows what I want after a very pushy & rude midwife for my first birth.

    Good luck

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Missy18 For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (24-08-2013)

  6. #5
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    I would strongly suggest you get a Doula!! And, avoid being induced.. Obviously you gestate longer and 42 weeks + is normal for you.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to melissa.r For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (24-08-2013)


 

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