I was reading the thread earlier about the starved toddlers and people saying they didn't know they had PND and it got me thinking about my own situation.
I've had a few really challenging times with my almost 6 month old daughter, nothing unusual for a baby, like no health concerns or anything but just things like breast refusal and refusing to drink formula, but we got through them, albeit with alot of tears from me. There were times where I just couldn't stand the crying so I'd put my daughter on her play mat and go sit as far away in the house from her as I could and cry. I never wanted to harm her, but I honestly felt like I hated her at times, and hated the way she had changed my life and removed every bit of freedom or flexibility that I had. The longest tough period was 2 weeks but the following week I was happy and coping fine.
A few people in that thread said the first signs of their PND reemerging was that their food preparation slipped. Quite often it will get to 7pm and I'll have put no thought into dinner because I just don't care. But I'm not sure if this is just me being lazy?
I also get annoyed about my housework not getting done but even when I have time to do it, I just don't. I do the things that have to be done like washing dishes and washing clothes, but the floors rarely get cleaned (its probably been 6 weeks since I have mopped and they usually only get vacuumed if my husband does it). But again, I don't know if this is laziness...
And finally, I really hate going out. I feel like it stuffs up my whole day because it takes me so long to get bub and I ready before we go out that I get no housework done in the morning, then when we get home I'm usually juggling trying to get bub to sleep and eating, then I feel angry that its 2pm and I haven't done what needs to be done so I go sulk and still don't do anything. Or tonight we were supposed to go out for dinner with my inlaws for my bday (which was on Wednesday) and 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave I hadn't done anything to prepare to go out so my husband cancelled it. I don't know if I didn't do anything because my MIL drives me crazy or what.
I'm happy probably 5-6 days out of 7 but just have some really low times. I don't know I'd this is just me having trouble adjusting to being a parent or something more serious?