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  1. #1
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    Default Not sure if this is PND or just difficulty adjusting to motherhood?

    I was reading the thread earlier about the starved toddlers and people saying they didn't know they had PND and it got me thinking about my own situation.

    I've had a few really challenging times with my almost 6 month old daughter, nothing unusual for a baby, like no health concerns or anything but just things like breast refusal and refusing to drink formula, but we got through them, albeit with alot of tears from me. There were times where I just couldn't stand the crying so I'd put my daughter on her play mat and go sit as far away in the house from her as I could and cry. I never wanted to harm her, but I honestly felt like I hated her at times, and hated the way she had changed my life and removed every bit of freedom or flexibility that I had. The longest tough period was 2 weeks but the following week I was happy and coping fine.

    A few people in that thread said the first signs of their PND reemerging was that their food preparation slipped. Quite often it will get to 7pm and I'll have put no thought into dinner because I just don't care. But I'm not sure if this is just me being lazy?

    I also get annoyed about my housework not getting done but even when I have time to do it, I just don't. I do the things that have to be done like washing dishes and washing clothes, but the floors rarely get cleaned (its probably been 6 weeks since I have mopped and they usually only get vacuumed if my husband does it). But again, I don't know if this is laziness...

    And finally, I really hate going out. I feel like it stuffs up my whole day because it takes me so long to get bub and I ready before we go out that I get no housework done in the morning, then when we get home I'm usually juggling trying to get bub to sleep and eating, then I feel angry that its 2pm and I haven't done what needs to be done so I go sulk and still don't do anything. Or tonight we were supposed to go out for dinner with my inlaws for my bday (which was on Wednesday) and 20 minutes before we were supposed to leave I hadn't done anything to prepare to go out so my husband cancelled it. I don't know if I didn't do anything because my MIL drives me crazy or what.

    I'm happy probably 5-6 days out of 7 but just have some really low times. I don't know I'd this is just me having trouble adjusting to being a parent or something more serious?

  2. #2
    MrJones&Me's Avatar
    MrJones&Me is offline sometimes as useless as the 'ueue' in queue
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    Subbing, I feel exactly the same xx

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    Dw. Take care
    Last edited by Ffrenchknickers; 16-08-2013 at 19:16.

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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Try this quiz, and see how you go.

    http://www.breastmates.co.nz/advice-...test-quiz.aspx

    Also, I'd mention it to your DH, some friends or family who are close, as it is very true that you often don't really notice it yourself, but if you have alerted caring and supportive people in your life that you fell you may be at risk, they can help you out by checking in with you often, and letting you know if they think your are slipping into any kind of depression.

    Also, chat with your GP if you want to.

    All the best, babies are hard on us at times!

  5. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to MilkingMaid For This Useful Post:

    Ffrenchknickers  (16-08-2013),JR03  (16-08-2013)

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    Sorry if I said the wrong thing just ignore my response.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    Sorry if I said the wrong thing just ignore my response.
    ?? I saw nothing wrong with your post Frenchie?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    Dw. Take care
    I read your response and it had some good tips, I really need to make myself exercise more as I feel alot better after I do so.

    Thank you for your responses. I think my husband tries to make me feel better by denying that I'm being grumpy or lazy when I say "sorry that you came home to such a messy house", but I think I'll just ask him to monitor how I seem and whether my bad days seen to be getting more frequent or more intense. It's so hard when you don't even know yourself if this is normal :-(

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    I spoke to my Dr about it and I was out on anti-d's, I thought it was just from my implanon, so I weaned off them when implanon being taken out, and I'm back to feeling exactly as I did. The anti-d's did make me feel so much better and I felt on top of things and actually 'wanted' to clean and cook. My issue is DP, he doesn't see me as being depressed, he just thinks I need more in my life. When I told him I went on them I may as well have said I hated him!! Next time I'll take him with me so he can see all point of views.

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    If you are into reading, there is an awesome book called 'the depression cure' Stephen Illardi.

    If you are not depressed, and follow his suggestions, it would go a huge way to preventing depression. One of his big things is exercise, another one is getting as much sunlight as you can, he reckons fish oil is excellent.... plus a few other great insights.

    Anyway, hope you start feeling better in yourself soon. Adjusting to motherhood is one of the hardest things I've ever been through, and sometimes it does take time.

  12. #10
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    You know I started a similar thread a few months ago, saying most days I was fine, in general I was fine but sometimes everything got well and truly on top of me. The BEST advice I got on here was 'if it doesn't feel right, it's not right'. By 6 months, with a relatively 'easy' baby (no health issues or terrible sleeping issues) it should be getting easier. Is it getting easier, or has it stayed about the same?
    I would talk to someone you trust about how you're feeling- someone you think will 'get' it. Your partner if he is supportive, your GP or your health nurse. Tell them you need things to change. You don't need go go on feeling like this, there's no reason to suck it up or just tolerate it- you deserve to be as happy as you can be. We all have bad days of course, but in my case I knew it wasn't the situations that were the problem, rather my lack of being able to cope with them.


 

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