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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sorry about your friend.

    Im sorry Im not conforming to your beliefs but please do not interpret that as I do not understand. Among other things I have a friend who's been put in hospital for treatment. I understand what the mother went through and I know mental illness isn't easy. I've just chosen to move past that and say I don't care it is no excuse what she did is rotten.

    Mental illness aside I think part of how people respons in situations like this can also be a reflection of flaws in their Character. And yes I do think she could gave done more to help herself and yes i do think she is selfish. I do think someone who wasn't as selfish or immature would have been able to pull themselves out of the hole she couldn't.
    So had she been your friend or - hypothetically - someone on BH what would you have said to her?

    Tough love or tiptoe round and tell people to leave her alone?

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I would like to point out that when you are in it - often you don't even realise, or you don't think it is "that bad", I managed to keep it together for years and years, and by the time it got to the point where I needed to seek help I was completely not functioning, I ended up being diagnosed with four different types of mental illness, Panic disorder, anxiety disorder, PTSD and agoraphobia. And I didn't even realise I had it, until my lovely DH pointed out to me, that I no longer every left the house. I was like "Of course I do - I went to the shops the other day". I was horrified when he pointed out I hadn't left the house for 6 weeks.

    I literally had to reach rock bottom before I got help - and I only got help because my DH made me, because I was a broken person who could not function or look after my child. It was hideous - and I really didn't realise it was that bad until I got into therapy and got onto meds and looked back at the way I was.
    . Huge hugs x

    I hate mental illness, I hate it. The case in the op is dreadful for all involved including the mother

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  4. #53
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    What worries me is how difficult it appears to be to get people to take you seriouly when you need help. Sakabla and RippaRitas' stories are testament to that.

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  6. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I disagree. She could have and should have tried harder. Depression is no excuse:
    Really?!

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    So had she been your friend or - hypothetically - someone on BH what would you have said to her?

    Tough love or tiptoe round and tell people to leave her alone?
    It depends. If she was teetering on the edge ....and forceful feedback she either wouldn't understand or it would push her over the edge... I would tiptoe. If she was in a better frame of mind might throw a bit of honesty in. But the moment she causes physical harm to her kids that's it, my patience and understanding is up.

  8. #56
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Hugs mummas

  9. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It depends. If she was teetering on the edge ....and forceful feedback she either wouldn't understand or it would push her over the edge... I would tiptoe. If she was in a better frame of mind might throw a bit of honesty in. But the moment she causes physical harm to her kids that's it, my patience and understanding is up.
    What if she asked for help and was given oodles of it. Advice, practical assistance, sympathy and encouragement. Yet she ignored it all. And came back over and over saying the same thing.

    Would you step up your efforts to get through to her? To get her to help herself or allow others to help her?

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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    So had she been your friend or - hypothetically - someone on BH what would you have said to her?

    Tough love or tiptoe round and tell people to leave her alone?
    Neither.
    Tough Love might damage a vulnerable person into not getting help or not being honest with how bad things are.
    I wouldn't Tip Toe around either however I would be mindful of how touchy and sensitive someone with mental illness can be.

    something like this...
    "RipperRita, it is never acceptable to smash your husbands car with a broom, however don't beat yourself up over it and let it define who you are. You are not a bad person. You are quite obviously an unwell person at the moment and fortunatly this illness can be treated and you will recover"

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  13. #59
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    Quote Originally Posted by OurLittleBlessing View Post
    What worries me is how difficult it appears to be to get people to take you seriouly when you need help. Sakabla and RippaRitas' stories are testament to that.
    Yes. I had exactly the same problem when my PND was at its worst, and I was a danger to my kids and myself. It's a terrifying situation to be in.

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    Quote Originally Posted by OurLittleBlessing View Post
    What worries me is how difficult it appears to be to get people to take you seriouly when you need help. Sakabla and RippaRitas' stories are testament to that.
    It is scary hey and I feel for these ladies and others.

    I made myself throw up everyday for seventeen years including throughout 4 of my 5 pregnancies and when I opened up to someone earlier this year when I was in hospital for addiction, this 'expert' told me that I probably wasn't bulimic but just used it as a distraction. I count addictions and eating disorders as mental illness and I also have severe depression and anxiety so it's close to my heart. I can see how people go over the edge.

    It's pretty crazy.

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