+ Reply to Thread
Page 5 of 24 FirstFirst ... 3456715 ... LastLast
Results 41 to 50 of 239
  1. #41
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Far far away!
    Posts
    1,378
    Thanks
    1,403
    Thanked
    1,063
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I disagree. She could have and should have tried harder. Depression is no excuse:
    http://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/who-can-assist

    "It can be difficult for people with depression or anxiety to take that first step in getting help. They may need to enlist the support of family members, friends and/or a health professional when they begin their treatment. "

    That is the opening statement about seeking help on Beyond Blue. Not only is it difficult to ask for help, but often people reach out to a family member for help.

    Depression and other mental illnesses are often so shameful for the sufferer. People suffering mental illness also often suffer from poor self esteem, self doubt etc. Which also makes it harder to ask for help.

  2. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to risfaerie For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (15-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers  (15-08-2013),MilkingMaid  (15-08-2013),Mulva  (15-08-2013),mummabear13  (15-08-2013),mumwannabe  (15-08-2013),Patience Belmont  (16-08-2013)

  3. #42
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,839
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    It seems it's divided from psychiatrists if she had severe depression. I don't know what the truth is. If she really did have severe depression it's sad. But sometimes people are just crap parents. I don't mean those with depression are crap parents, but I think sometimes depression becomes the fail back response when parents are just infact BAD parents

    "She said it was her opinion the mother's capacity to understand what was happening to the twins was not impaired in the months leading up to their death.Dr Voita said it was the woman's attempts to conceal the twins and deny family members access to them that fit a diagnosis of ongoing personality issues.
    She said the fear of being discovered was ``one of the drivers of not seeking help''.
    She said the mother's ability to function on some levels, by playing computer games or feeding her older children, was also at odds with a diagnosis of a severe depressive disorder.
    ``In my opinion I find it difficult to understand given that (she) was able to look after her other children to a certain extent,'' she said.
    ``I think that she was troubled by a lot of stress in her life and was aware there were consequences to the children becoming unwell.''

    http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/q...-1226693004072




  4. #43
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    I would like to point out that when you are in it - often you don't even realise, or you don't think it is "that bad", I managed to keep it together for years and years, and by the time it got to the point where I needed to seek help I was completely not functioning, I ended up being diagnosed with four different types of mental illness, Panic disorder, anxiety disorder, PTSD and agoraphobia. And I didn't even realise I had it, until my lovely DH pointed out to me, that I no longer every left the house. I was like "Of course I do - I went to the shops the other day". I was horrified when he pointed out I hadn't left the house for 6 weeks.

    I literally had to reach rock bottom before I got help - and I only got help because my DH made me, because I was a broken person who could not function or look after my child. It was hideous - and I really didn't realise it was that bad until I got into therapy and got onto meds and looked back at the way I was.

  5. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to beebs For This Useful Post:

    Annabella  (16-08-2013),Atropos  (15-08-2013),babynomad  (15-08-2013),ChickyBee  (15-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers  (15-08-2013),risfaerie  (15-08-2013),~Marigold~  (15-08-2013)

  6. #44
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,557
    Thanked
    12,689
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    Ah = spoken like a person who has no clue what mental illness is like. Should I also mention to my friend who committed suicide that she just didn't try hard enough?
    Sorry about your friend.

    Im sorry Im not conforming to your beliefs but please do not interpret that as I do not understand. Among other things I have a friend who's been put in hospital for treatment. I understand what the mother went through and I know mental illness isn't easy. I've just chosen to move past that and say I don't care it is no excuse what she did is rotten.

    Mental illness aside I think part of how people respons in situations like this can also be a reflection of flaws in their Character. And yes I do think she could gave done more to help herself and yes i do think she is selfish. I do think someone who wasn't as selfish or immature would have been able to pull themselves out of the hole she couldn't.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    risfaerie  (15-08-2013)

  8. #45
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    In another article it also said that she was severely abused by those who raised her, nature/nurture and the vicious cycle -that we all see every day. You just have to go down to Claymore in Sydney to see that vicious cycle continuing generation after generation.


    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    It seems it's divided from psychiatrists if she had severe depression. I don't know what the truth is. If she really did have severe depression it's sad. But sometimes people are just crap parents. I don't mean those with depression are crap parents, but I think sometimes depression becomes the fail back response when parents are just infact BAD parents

    "She said it was her opinion the mother's capacity to understand what was happening to the twins was not impaired in the months leading up to their death.Dr Voita said it was the woman's attempts to conceal the twins and deny family members access to them that fit a diagnosis of ongoing personality issues.
    She said the fear of being discovered was ``one of the drivers of not seeking help''.
    She said the mother's ability to function on some levels, by playing computer games or feeding her older children, was also at odds with a diagnosis of a severe depressive disorder.
    ``In my opinion I find it difficult to understand given that (she) was able to look after her other children to a certain extent,'' she said.
    ``I think that she was troubled by a lot of stress in her life and was aware there were consequences to the children becoming unwell.''

    http://www.couriermail.com.au/news/q...-1226693004072




  9. #46
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    She didnt really try that hard to get help. Mentioning she wanted help to her alcoholic foster mother wasn't the best plan. If she had told a doctor or child services herself then I might believe she was serious about wanting help.
    it is actually alot harder than you think. I asked for help on a regular basis and told everyone I wasn't coping with my 2 when I was deep in the midst of my black hole. The dr told me to put them in daycare (not possible as I was BFing) and that I needed to join a mothers group and start exercising (talking to people made me so anxious I would have a panic attack). I came in contact with many medical and professional health services while I was deeply under PND.
    ABA, GP's, Paedatricians, Ellen Barron to name a few and even a few posts on here that might have shown how deeply disturbed I was at the time. I look back now and honestly cant see how much of my behaviour didnt set off alarm bells to these health professionals but it didn't. I'm even more saddened that my family didn't pick up on it earlier.

    I have since been told, I looked too together and my children were obviously too well cared for to trigger the alarm bells in them even though here I was sitting in front of them crying, clearly anxious and not coping and "asking for help". It was a major incident (me smashing a car with a broom) that finally made everyone see that I really did need help and wasn't coping.

    Even those that I love the most and are closest to me like my dh and mother didn't really "get" how unwell I was and caused alot of extra angst to me by being hard on me and trying some sort of "tough love".

    anyway my point is it is surprisingly difficult to get help if you dont have any mental health history. And even harder if you don't tick all the boxes of what a "crazy" person should look like.
    Last edited by RipperRita; 15-08-2013 at 18:41.

  10. The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to RipperRita For This Useful Post:

    babynomad  (15-08-2013),ButterflyMa  (16-08-2013),Mathermy  (15-08-2013),OurLittleBlessing  (15-08-2013),~ElectricPink~  (19-09-2013)

  11. #47
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    10,012
    Thanks
    14,124
    Thanked
    7,612
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    VP - I am not trying to get you to conform. I just don't agree with 99% of what you say. And that is a good thing - I know all is right with the world when we disagree. It is when I agree unequivocally with something you say that I start getting freaked out.

    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Sorry about your friend.

    Im sorry Im not conforming to your beliefs but please do not interpret that as I do not understand. Among other things I have a friend who's been put in hospital for treatment. I understand what the mother went through and I know mental illness isn't easy. I've just chosen to move past that and say I don't care it is no excuse what she did is rotten.

    Mental illness aside I think part of how people respons in situations like this can also be a reflection of flaws in their Character. And yes I do think she could gave done more to help herself and yes i do think she is selfish. I do think someone who wasn't as selfish or immature would have been able to pull themselves out of the hole she couldn't.

  12. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to beebs For This Useful Post:

    Atropos  (15-08-2013),Ffrenchknickers  (15-08-2013),RipperRita  (15-08-2013)

  13. #48
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    VP - I am not trying to get you to conform. I just don't agree with 99% of what you say. And that is a good thing - I know all is right with the world when we disagree. It is when I agree unequivocally with something you say that I start getting freaked out.

  14. #49
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,839
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    In another article it also said that she was severely abused by those who raised her, nature/nurture and the vicious cycle -that we all see every day. You just have to go down to Claymore in Sydney to see that vicious cycle continuing generation after generation.
    Yeah I read that. Like I said, I don't know whether she did or not. Just wanted to point out there was conflicting psych opinions of whether she did in fact have a severe depressive disorder.

    It's a really sad situation

  15. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-08-2013)

  16. #50
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    7,039
    Thanks
    9,662
    Thanked
    4,985
    Reviews
    7
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    So very tragic. My question is how can this happen? So unfair. What an absolute waste of life. I can't even begin to imagine the state that this woman must have been in for this to occur. I don't think it was a callous, selfish act on the mother's behalf- something obviously went very wrong in regards to her mental health... heartbreaking.
    The poor woman asked for help, that shows she did care and loved those babies, it shows that at some point she had some insight into her downward spiral, but unfortunetly she deteriorated before anyone could intervene

  17. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to ~Marigold~ For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (15-08-2013),dancingchipmunk  (15-08-2013),MilkingMaid  (15-08-2013),RipperRita  (15-08-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. *trigger warning* At least she was honest...
    By Cat21 in forum Pregnancy & Birth General Chat
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: 24-02-2013, 22:10
  2. Bullying *Possible Trigger Warning*
    By lolly137 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 25
    Last Post: 07-09-2012, 21:27

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Carmels Beauty Secrets
An online beauty and wellness site which offers simple and effective time saving methods and tips which help you look younger for longer.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!