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  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    Ah, so, mother cant be blamed due to mental health issues but an eleven year old child ought to bare some of the responsibilities for her siblings being dead.

    That is honestly appauling and not the first time in this thread ive read it, or something like it.
    Where in my post did I say the mother "couldn't be blamed"? The point of my post was that if she was mentally ill someone should have helped. I've since read the posts of oldmember & it is clear that many people saw what was happening & didn't say or do a thing. Bystander syndrome to the extreme. If someone had said or done something, we wouldn't even need a thread to debate whether the mother "should be blamed", as she would have received help & the babies wouldn't be dead.

    I also never said the 11 year old should "bare some of the responsibilities". The intent of my question was to ascertain whether she might have said anything to an adult, to find out why help wasn't given to this family.

    Frankly, I find your judgmental views and lack of compassion "appalling". For you, and others, who just want to judge and blame the mother; try to put yourself in her place. Can you imagine the horror & sadness you would feel knowing that you killed your children? Now also imagine how you feel when you discover that it was because you were mentally ill AND nobody helped you or your children.

  2. #202
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    heeeeerekittykitty is offline My babies, my cats ....ahhhh , bliss !!!
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    Last edited by heeeeerekittykitty; 16-08-2013 at 22:15.

  3. #203
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    There's often threads on here by people genuinely concerned for a child's welfare, be it a neighbour, a school mate to their child, asking if they should notify. I think the moral to all of this, is if you have good reason to believe a child *may* be at risk PLEASE notify. If your gut instinct is wrong (which I find is rare) sure it sucks to be the family. But CP will just close the case. If you are right, then you may have saved a life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Funchu View Post
    Where in my post did I say the mother "couldn't be blamed"? The point of my post was that if she was mentally ill someone should have helped. I've since read the posts of oldmember & it is clear that many people saw what was happening & didn't say or do a thing. Bystander syndrome to the extreme. If someone had said or done something, we wouldn't even need a thread to debate whether the mother "should be blamed", as she would have received help & the babies wouldn't be dead.

    I also never said the 11 year old should "bare some of the responsibilities". The intent of my question was to ascertain whether she might have said anything to an adult, to find out why help wasn't given to this family.

    Frankly, I find your judgmental views and lack of compassion "appalling". For you, and others, who just want to judge and blame the mother; try to put yourself in her place. Can you imagine the horror & sadness you would feel knowing that you killed your children? Now also imagine how you feel when you discover that it was because you were mentally ill AND nobody helped you or your children.
    Sorry, I was using your post as an example, but since you bring it up.

    I find questioning whether an 11 year old child told anyone or tried to get help to be blaming her and putting that responsibility on her.
    I have no compassion for someone who starves their children to death. For the mother and the father. Alcoholism is also a mental illness and from my understanding the father is also an alcoholic.

    I have a hard line in regards to mental illness. I wont accept it as a reaaon for murder, no matter what the mental illness is. I see it a lot on here, actually. In the news stories, someone killed someone and they're found to have a mental illness but they're never excused for it on that ground and no one wants compassion for them. They want justice.

    I want justice for those two babies and I want it for the 11 year old who has to live with this for the rest of her life, and explain over and over again that she did try to get help. No one listened to her. And feel the weight of that on her until the day she dies.

    The mother knew her children were dead. She went and sat and looked at them afterward. But still she let her 11 year old find them. Find their decomposing bodies in their crib.

    No, I have no compassion for a mother who would willingly inflict that torture on her children.
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  7. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    There's often threads on here by people genuinely concerned for a child's welfare, be it a neighbour, a school mate to their child, asking if they should notify. I think the moral to all of this, is if you have good reason to believe a child *may* be at risk PLEASE notify. If your gut instinct is wrong (which I find is rare) sure it sucks to be the family. But CP will just close the case. If you are right, then you may have saved a life.
    Completely agree but also how often do we see responses to those threads saying mind your own business, you don't know what's going on or maybe the mother is having a hard time. The whole 'it's none of your business what happens in another family' is exactly why horrible things like this continue to happen. You are so right, if by some chance you are wrong so be it but your report may be the final report needed to take a case further.

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  9. #206
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    Wow wow wow. I just went through & read this whole thread ... And I picked my son out of his bassinet & cuddled him... It just breaks my heart to think of the suffering those two babies would have endured before they died.

    I really haven't been following this story in depth.. So have learnt a lot by reading this thread.. I think it's interesting hearing different opinions & view points.

    For example, women with personal experience with depression can understand the feelings this woman would have been experiencing... And tend to see the mother as a victim too.

    Where as someone with no experience of a mental illness cannot possibly comprehend doing something like this....

    I think the important message we can all take from this *personal opinions aside* is that if you do see someone displaying warning signs or someone confides in you - be proactive, take action, be supportive, assess the situation & report if necessary.

    If we all do this, we may just save a life in the future.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenga View Post
    Completely agree but also how often do we see responses to those threads saying mind your own business, you don't know what's going on or maybe the mother is having a hard time. The whole 'it's none of your business what happens in another family' is exactly why horrible things like this continue to happen. You are so right, if by some chance you are wrong so be it but your report may be the final report needed to take a case further.
    There have also been many members over the years that have obviously had mental health issues and/or where not coping. There have been women screaming out for help and not coping with the down fall of their relationships even if the relationships have been full of abuse. Unfortunately a lot of these women have ended up being chased from the hub. I know there has been passed cases involving full on cyber bullying in the past. How would this shatter the confidence of an already sick person on the edge? Do we here have a duty of care to call and find out about a hubber? Maybe this is there only support.

    I feel sorry for all the parents who have cried out for help and been shut down or have been too ashamed to admit they need help. I don't condone what happened to these babies, but if only more people spoke out maybe something could have been done.

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  13. #208
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    If nothing else comes of this other than people are now more aware of mental illness and are able to recognise the signs and reach out in a compassionate manner to those who are fighting battles with their minds ( whether it be online or in real life) than these poor babies deaths may save the lives of others.

    Thank you to anyone out there (especially those that have never been touched by mental health issues) that have taken the time to read all of our stories and not just condemn this woman without attempting to understand how it could happen. Her actionswere absolutely and unapologetically atrocious but what is just as tragic is with the right intervention this tragedy didn't need to occur at all.

    Lets hope this is a turning point and those of us that have battled this no longer need to feel ashamed but can come forward without fear or judgment to find help.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tastychicken View Post
    There have also been many members over the years that have obviously had mental health issues and/or where not coping. There have been women screaming out for help and not coping with the down fall of their relationships even if the relationships have been full of abuse. Unfortunately a lot of these women have ended up being chased from the hub. I know there has been passed cases involving full on cyber bullying in the past. How would this shatter the confidence of an already sick person on the edge? Do we here have a duty of care to call and find out about a hubber? Maybe this is there only support.

    I feel sorry for all the parents who have cried out for help and been shut down or have been too ashamed to admit they need help. I don't condone what happened to these babies, but if only more people spoke out maybe something could have been done.

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Really? I've honestly never noticed that.

    For sure some threads get *****y but not the ones when people reach out for support. There are several at the moment.

    Over the years I have seen hubbers give other hubbers IRL help and support as well as advice and support online.

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  17. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by NancyBlackett View Post
    Really? I've honestly never noticed that.

    For sure some threads get *****y but not the ones when people reach out for support. There are several at the moment.

    Over the years I have seen hubbers give other hubbers IRL help and support as well as advice and support online.
    Agree. We have hubbers sending others who had hit hard times baby clothes for free. People that offer women in DV relationships a place to stay or to come and get them. People offer lots of support to women questioning their parenting saying no parent is perfect.

    I think when you want to see only the worst, you see it.


 

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