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  1. #131
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    I can't speak for anyone else but it certainly isn't because she is female from my pov. We have had a situation recently irl that involved scary acts by a male and I absolutely feel the same empathy as it involves mental illness affecting an otherwise caring and enthusiastic father.

  2. #132
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    Quote Originally Posted by sakabla View Post
    I disagree.

    Compassion most certainly will help.

    At the time, if someone, anyone in this woman's life had treated her with compassion, things might be completely different. If someone had told her she wasn't evil or selfish or immature, that she was ill, that she needed help, then maybe she would have felt loved enough to get the help she needed, maybe those babies would have ended up with the healthy mother they deserved.

    Maybe if the aftermath of this tragedy is handled with compassion, then mothers who are going through this right now, will realise that they have no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed, that there are good mummies who are just going through a bad situation. Maybe if women felt they would be treated with compassion and receive support, then more would be willing to come forward and seek the help they need.

    Sent from my HTC One X using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I agree with what you're saying. I meant that strangers on BH showing compassion or judgement will not make a difference to the lady in the story. Unless she has unfiltered Internet access in prison (which I would not be happy with).

    I agree show compassion and help someone up to the point where they kill their kids. I get what you're saying about after the fact but one could also say that if too much leniency is given when someone kills another person, that won't deter future killings (if people don't face consequences and judgement then why not kill).

  3. #133
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ffrenchknickers View Post
    I can't speak for anyone else but it certainly isn't because she is female from my pov. We have had a situation recently irl that involved scary acts by a male and I absolutely feel the same empathy as it involves mental illness affecting an otherwise caring and enthusiastic father.
    Thanks. What about the stories in the media of dads that kill their kids?

    Eg http://m.cbsnews.com/blogsstorysynop...nb_splitPage=1

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...illed-son.html

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...illed-son.html

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...on-Kaydon.html

    http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/...480410807.html
    Last edited by VicPark; 16-08-2013 at 08:15.

  4. #134
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    like the pp I too have more empathy for everyone suffering mental health issues since suffering them myself, if you look back at some of my posts Ive often given advice to bh members who are having difficulties with partners that have mental health issues. Out of all the depressive illnesses, PND is however definitely an issue I hold very close to my heart mainly because I see myself in these women.

  5. #135
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    I argued with my dh about the man that threw his daughter off the bridge. I was horrified by the act but I also believe him to be "unwell" not evil.

    Adrian Bayley may be unwell... but he is also evil. I dont extend my empathy to evil... e.g. rape, torture or calculated or pre meditated abuse.

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    beebs  (17-08-2013),Kirst33  (16-08-2013),NancyBlackett  (16-08-2013),VicPark  (16-08-2013),~Marigold~  (16-08-2013)

  7. #136
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post

    which makes me think: it is a rather narrow slither of society represented on BH (mums, many of who are either bored, lonely, have free time to spare and/or are probably predisposed to mental problems).
    Aww bless. You should have mentioned all this to BH Community when she was compiling the 'personality' for BH.

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  9. #137
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    I think its one of those things where you cant know unless you have been there.

    I have pnd and have had it to the point where i felt like i hated my child.(First child) But i dont know what its like to be so severe you actually do something negative towards your child, because even tho i felt this way i still went through the motions of taking care of his needs. So whilst i have a mental illness i dont actively sympathise for the mother. I think it sucks people failed her but i feel 100000% more compassion for the dead babies.

    I think my feelings would be different if i had been in a severely non functioning state for an extended period of time. Its probably not right to feel this way? She was functioning to an extent as she was feeding them something, just not enough. The other kids were being fed? Too wrapped up in a Facebook game?

    All those little factors make me struggle to be fully sympathetic to her situation.


    But tbh i feel bad that im not more understanding.

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  11. #138
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I argued with my dh about the man that threw his daughter off the bridge. I was horrified by the act but I also believe him to be "unwell" not evil.

    Adrian Bayley may be unwell... but he is also evil. I dont extend my empathy to evil... e.g. rape, torture or calculated or pre meditated abuse.
    I remember the thread about the man who threw his baby off the bridge around the time I first joined BH and I was pretty much crucified for my opinions that the man was obviously mantally ill. I stated that although what he did was horrendous beyond belief, I also "understood" that he must have had a severe mental illness. It was by no means an excuse for his actions.
    I was mocked and very rudely replied to about my views, it almost saw me leave the hub. People were saying sarcastic things like "Oh, I have a mental illness, I can now freely murder anyone I like.. blah blah blah".

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  13. #139
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    I feel so sad for those babies that were starved to death and sorry for their little sister who will have to live every day knowing her mother and father killed her siblings. I feel anger towards the father, his excuse was **** poor and even if they had separated not seeing your child for months is pathetic. I think the prison term should be so much longer, yes she had a severe mental illness but she tortured her children over a long period of time and 5 years isn't enough. What was she diagnosed with? Is she medicated now? If she is realesed I think she should be given a hysterectomy and NEVER allowed to have anymore children

  14. #140
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    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
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    The parents hadn't separated Shell, he was at the house every day, well, at the tavern, and gambling a lot apparently...


 

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